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Cabot O'Callaghan's avatar

I think about Revelations every time somebody or something turns out to be other than what I thought it was. Which is exhaustingly often now. Not as biblical-confirmed fact, but as an eerie metaphor.

Nothing like crisis to reveal truth. In people. In institutions. In systems of belief. And the fact the internet has become an insanity device we carry on our bodies daily is deeply unsettling.

So much deception and denial and delirium to constantly navigate. Honesty and integrity are sacred.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

It’s weird or sad or funny, but I keep thinking “ok, I’ve culled, I’m good.” Not just social media feeds but people in my life. And then some new horrific thing will happen, and suddenly this person is sharing views that make your mouth fall open.

When it’s someone you’ve known over twenty years it’s rough. I’ve gone back in my mind trying to figure out if I missed some signs. I probably did, I was 29 when I met this friend. Anyway, yes to everything you said. Thanks for being here, Cabot.

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EFS's avatar

I had to take a break from reading this halfway through, because I could feel a murderous rage coming on, and I'm determined to never kill anyone, ever.

I watched a lot of old movies when I was young; Katherine Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Henry Fonda old.

I try to live by much of the philosophy imparted in those films.

"The time to make up your mind about people is never" is one I've shared with my kids. An echo of my mother's "it takes a long time to get to know people".

I'm sorry your friend shocked/disappointed you. It happens a lot these days. And it's worse when it's an old friend that you care about.

As always, thank you for your writing🧡

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Thank you, I appreciate this. And yes, I think that’s a true quote about people. I mean, of course we all change too. He’s not the same person he was twenty some odd years ago, and neither am I. But my core beliefs and values haven’t changed. I think that’s the rub here.

I hope you didn’t walk away feeling murderous, I really tried to keep the gallows humor coming. I appreciate you so much, thanks for being here❤️‍🩹

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Kate Mapother's avatar

I hate everything but this and you. xo

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Ha. Hard same. It’s all too much xo

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Retta V's avatar

Thank you for expressing my rage so perfectly and eloquently.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Thank you for being here, Retta ❤️

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Kara CR's avatar

My AudHD kid had a headache the other night that didn’t improve with hydration. I asked what they wanted to take and they said “give me Tylenol, just to spite their asses.” To which I replied “i was going to suggest Tylenol to keep your levels up, we don’t want you becoming neurotypical on us.”

Sending you love, friend. There have been so few people that haven’t broken my heart over the last several years.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Ha. This is the kind of humor I adore. And it’s the right energy, too.

It’s exhausting dealing with this every day, we aren’t meant for this much heartbreak and anxiety. I really wish we could turn the world off and reset some things and turn it back on.

And I know what you mean. I guess we’re going to know who our people really are when this is over. Shitty way to find out. Love you. You’re my people, always.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

Very hard same, Ally.

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Mary Varner Hutto's avatar

I’m old so I take Tylenol Arthritis.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

I wonder if people will take more Tylenol now, just generally. Kidding. Love to you, Mary.

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lunafaer (she/they)'s avatar

this post was ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

i’m so sorry that your childhood was beyond traumatic. however, it gave you good instincts and you use them for good. kudos. and thank you.

my childhood had similarities and differences but the outcome was similar. i’m never sure if it’s the way i was born, being genx, or trauma that made me a skeptic and a cynic…and a person with a giant, soft heart.

i learned the hard way that “friends” don’t exist when you’re too much trouble or their own needs feel more important than standing with you. i learned that otherwise kind people can also be greedy bigots. i learned that when the chips are down, no one has your back.

i have to save the second half of this post to read later because i’m already extremely anxious today. thank you for taking the time to write it.

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