I think about Revelations every time somebody or something turns out to be other than what I thought it was. Which is exhaustingly often now. Not as biblical-confirmed fact, but as an eerie metaphor.
Nothing like crisis to reveal truth. In people. In institutions. In systems of belief. And the fact the internet has become an insanity device we carry on our bodies daily is deeply unsettling.
So much deception and denial and delirium to constantly navigate. Honesty and integrity are sacred.
It’s weird or sad or funny, but I keep thinking “ok, I’ve culled, I’m good.” Not just social media feeds but people in my life. And then some new horrific thing will happen, and suddenly this person is sharing views that make your mouth fall open.
When it’s someone you’ve known over twenty years it’s rough. I’ve gone back in my mind trying to figure out if I missed some signs. I probably did, I was 29 when I met this friend. Anyway, yes to everything you said. Thanks for being here, Cabot.
i’m so sorry that your childhood was beyond traumatic. however, it gave you good instincts and you use them for good. kudos. and thank you.
my childhood had similarities and differences but the outcome was similar. i’m never sure if it’s the way i was born, being genx, or trauma that made me a skeptic and a cynic…and a person with a giant, soft heart.
i learned the hard way that “friends” don’t exist when you’re too much trouble or their own needs feel more important than standing with you. i learned that otherwise kind people can also be greedy bigots. i learned that when the chips are down, no one has your back.
i have to save the second half of this post to read later because i’m already extremely anxious today. thank you for taking the time to write it.
I wish I could give you a big hug. It’s such a strange and sad time in our country and I guess we are all seeing sides of people we didn’t know were there. I have a handful of people in my life I feel sure of, still. I can count them on one hand, but that’s enough. I hope your day gets a little better and that you can find some time to do something that brings you joy. Anything. Sending you a lot of love, thank you for being here ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
My AudHD kid had a headache the other night that didn’t improve with hydration. I asked what they wanted to take and they said “give me Tylenol, just to spite their asses.” To which I replied “i was going to suggest Tylenol to keep your levels up, we don’t want you becoming neurotypical on us.”
Sending you love, friend. There have been so few people that haven’t broken my heart over the last several years.
Ha. This is the kind of humor I adore. And it’s the right energy, too.
It’s exhausting dealing with this every day, we aren’t meant for this much heartbreak and anxiety. I really wish we could turn the world off and reset some things and turn it back on.
And I know what you mean. I guess we’re going to know who our people really are when this is over. Shitty way to find out. Love you. You’re my people, always.
I had to take a break from reading this halfway through, because I could feel a murderous rage coming on, and I'm determined to never kill anyone, ever.
I watched a lot of old movies when I was young; Katherine Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Henry Fonda old.
I try to live by much of the philosophy imparted in those films.
"The time to make up your mind about people is never" is one I've shared with my kids. An echo of my mother's "it takes a long time to get to know people".
I'm sorry your friend shocked/disappointed you. It happens a lot these days. And it's worse when it's an old friend that you care about.
Thank you, I appreciate this. And yes, I think that’s a true quote about people. I mean, of course we all change too. He’s not the same person he was twenty some odd years ago, and neither am I. But my core beliefs and values haven’t changed. I think that’s the rub here.
I hope you didn’t walk away feeling murderous, I really tried to keep the gallows humor coming. I appreciate you so much, thanks for being here❤️🩹
Thank you. I have made a conscious decision to limit my consumption so I stay upright. You caught me right up. And now I’ll go back to lighting candles and being in nature. I see you.
Totally get it, it’s all too much. I’m on the couch under a blanket nursing a migraine. Well, waiting for it to pass, anyway. Sending you a lot of love, Michelle. I see you, too ❤️
Every time you talk about your childhood, I'm nodding. You sparked an essay that I haven't yet decided if I'll publish. It's such sticky area for me...does it help, or just toss me into the muck? But I think you're a genius, and the amendments? Ooof. Thank you for reminding us. Maybe you didn't set out to be, but you are an invaluable news source. xxx
Thank you so much, Wendy. It’s such an interesting topic. It was ingrained in me not to talk about these things, not to “air the dirty laundry” or give up my dad’s secrets or betray my mother by telling someone I needed help - that when I finally got to the point when I’d worked through a lot of these things, sharing is what got me out of the muck. That’s not me telling you to publish the essay, because every situation is different. But yeah.
And the Amendments, smh. Thank you for your comments. I never set out to write about current events, but here we are lol/sob.
I feel like the number of people who could say that can’t be very high, and it’s probably why I always feel so seen when I read your work. And also why I laugh so hard. Which is my way of saying I appreciate you, too, very much. Xo
That video set me off too. The inhumanity and cruelty and power-drunk performative strongman tactics are unconscionable. These roided-up would-be or has-been soldiers of ICE are the worst of us, as are those hiring and enabling them.
Unfortunately it’s something else each and every day that sets me off these days. Censorship, human rights, grift and corruption, violence and blatant lies and stupidity and more. And I’m as even-keeled as they come, a lifelong, pragmatic, “keep calm” guy born out of being the parentified child in a turbulent childhood household.
If I was in a position to leave everything and everyone behind, I’d be on the next flight out of this madness. But here we are, just trying to cling to sanity and hope day by day as society crumbles around us. It’s exhausting.
I could just say “same” to every single thing you wrote, Paul. That video was horrific. I’ve been in that position where your size and weight are used against you and you know you are at someone’s mercy, and it isn’t the right someone. My heart-rate went through the roof, but what broke me was her little kids standing there watching in horror. What kind of man does that, in front of someone’s children no less? And he’s been “relieved of his duties”? I hope some attorney takes her case and she sues him/ICE/this government for assault and emotional damages and just, everything she can. Though I have little faith she’d get anything right now, given…everything. And still, I’ve seen comments from his supporters saying “good.” How anyone could watch that and not feel sickened is beyond me.
My heart hurts all the time. I just can’t believe this is where we are. Though it does seem Democrats are up 17+, 18+ points in special elections which gives me a glimmer of hope. Not that I think this two-party system is working for us, but it seems people across the country are expressing measurable, concrete displeasure with the current state of affairs when given the chance to vote. This is coming from Harry Enten, not me. It’s something to hold onto, and I’ll take it.
Ally, you hit it out of the park every time! I can relate to a lot of the mother issues--mine, not me--and the friend issues--and I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that. I have to say that I love the way you explained those important amendments! Sharing your wit and wisdom as always! Thank you for being you and sharing you with us!!
Thank you so much, Sharon. This means the world to me. I do try to somehow keep us laughing so we don’t lose our minds. You made my night. Thank you for being here ❤️🩹
I think about Revelations every time somebody or something turns out to be other than what I thought it was. Which is exhaustingly often now. Not as biblical-confirmed fact, but as an eerie metaphor.
Nothing like crisis to reveal truth. In people. In institutions. In systems of belief. And the fact the internet has become an insanity device we carry on our bodies daily is deeply unsettling.
So much deception and denial and delirium to constantly navigate. Honesty and integrity are sacred.
It’s weird or sad or funny, but I keep thinking “ok, I’ve culled, I’m good.” Not just social media feeds but people in my life. And then some new horrific thing will happen, and suddenly this person is sharing views that make your mouth fall open.
When it’s someone you’ve known over twenty years it’s rough. I’ve gone back in my mind trying to figure out if I missed some signs. I probably did, I was 29 when I met this friend. Anyway, yes to everything you said. Thanks for being here, Cabot.
this post was ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
i’m so sorry that your childhood was beyond traumatic. however, it gave you good instincts and you use them for good. kudos. and thank you.
my childhood had similarities and differences but the outcome was similar. i’m never sure if it’s the way i was born, being genx, or trauma that made me a skeptic and a cynic…and a person with a giant, soft heart.
i learned the hard way that “friends” don’t exist when you’re too much trouble or their own needs feel more important than standing with you. i learned that otherwise kind people can also be greedy bigots. i learned that when the chips are down, no one has your back.
i have to save the second half of this post to read later because i’m already extremely anxious today. thank you for taking the time to write it.
I wish I could give you a big hug. It’s such a strange and sad time in our country and I guess we are all seeing sides of people we didn’t know were there. I have a handful of people in my life I feel sure of, still. I can count them on one hand, but that’s enough. I hope your day gets a little better and that you can find some time to do something that brings you joy. Anything. Sending you a lot of love, thank you for being here ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
My AudHD kid had a headache the other night that didn’t improve with hydration. I asked what they wanted to take and they said “give me Tylenol, just to spite their asses.” To which I replied “i was going to suggest Tylenol to keep your levels up, we don’t want you becoming neurotypical on us.”
Sending you love, friend. There have been so few people that haven’t broken my heart over the last several years.
Ha. This is the kind of humor I adore. And it’s the right energy, too.
It’s exhausting dealing with this every day, we aren’t meant for this much heartbreak and anxiety. I really wish we could turn the world off and reset some things and turn it back on.
And I know what you mean. I guess we’re going to know who our people really are when this is over. Shitty way to find out. Love you. You’re my people, always.
Love you 😘
I had to take a break from reading this halfway through, because I could feel a murderous rage coming on, and I'm determined to never kill anyone, ever.
I watched a lot of old movies when I was young; Katherine Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Henry Fonda old.
I try to live by much of the philosophy imparted in those films.
"The time to make up your mind about people is never" is one I've shared with my kids. An echo of my mother's "it takes a long time to get to know people".
I'm sorry your friend shocked/disappointed you. It happens a lot these days. And it's worse when it's an old friend that you care about.
As always, thank you for your writing🧡
Thank you, I appreciate this. And yes, I think that’s a true quote about people. I mean, of course we all change too. He’s not the same person he was twenty some odd years ago, and neither am I. But my core beliefs and values haven’t changed. I think that’s the rub here.
I hope you didn’t walk away feeling murderous, I really tried to keep the gallows humor coming. I appreciate you so much, thanks for being here❤️🩹
Lol - no, I was impressed by the Amendment SparkNotes;)
Ah thank you. I had some fun with that lol.
Thank you. I have made a conscious decision to limit my consumption so I stay upright. You caught me right up. And now I’ll go back to lighting candles and being in nature. I see you.
Totally get it, it’s all too much. I’m on the couch under a blanket nursing a migraine. Well, waiting for it to pass, anyway. Sending you a lot of love, Michelle. I see you, too ❤️
Right back at you sis. Hope the noggin feels lighter soon 💜
Every time you talk about your childhood, I'm nodding. You sparked an essay that I haven't yet decided if I'll publish. It's such sticky area for me...does it help, or just toss me into the muck? But I think you're a genius, and the amendments? Ooof. Thank you for reminding us. Maybe you didn't set out to be, but you are an invaluable news source. xxx
Thank you so much, Wendy. It’s such an interesting topic. It was ingrained in me not to talk about these things, not to “air the dirty laundry” or give up my dad’s secrets or betray my mother by telling someone I needed help - that when I finally got to the point when I’d worked through a lot of these things, sharing is what got me out of the muck. That’s not me telling you to publish the essay, because every situation is different. But yeah.
And the Amendments, smh. Thank you for your comments. I never set out to write about current events, but here we are lol/sob.
The same thing was ingrained in me. In every family full of secrets. And "lol/sob" is devastatingly appropriate.
I hate everything but this and you. xo
Ha. Hard same. It’s all too much xo
Ally, every time you write about your mom I feel like in many ways we were raised by the same women. I appreciate your voice so much. Xo
I feel like the number of people who could say that can’t be very high, and it’s probably why I always feel so seen when I read your work. And also why I laugh so hard. Which is my way of saying I appreciate you, too, very much. Xo
❤️🔥Thank you, Ally.
Thank you for being here ❤️🩹❤️🩹
That video set me off too. The inhumanity and cruelty and power-drunk performative strongman tactics are unconscionable. These roided-up would-be or has-been soldiers of ICE are the worst of us, as are those hiring and enabling them.
Unfortunately it’s something else each and every day that sets me off these days. Censorship, human rights, grift and corruption, violence and blatant lies and stupidity and more. And I’m as even-keeled as they come, a lifelong, pragmatic, “keep calm” guy born out of being the parentified child in a turbulent childhood household.
If I was in a position to leave everything and everyone behind, I’d be on the next flight out of this madness. But here we are, just trying to cling to sanity and hope day by day as society crumbles around us. It’s exhausting.
I could just say “same” to every single thing you wrote, Paul. That video was horrific. I’ve been in that position where your size and weight are used against you and you know you are at someone’s mercy, and it isn’t the right someone. My heart-rate went through the roof, but what broke me was her little kids standing there watching in horror. What kind of man does that, in front of someone’s children no less? And he’s been “relieved of his duties”? I hope some attorney takes her case and she sues him/ICE/this government for assault and emotional damages and just, everything she can. Though I have little faith she’d get anything right now, given…everything. And still, I’ve seen comments from his supporters saying “good.” How anyone could watch that and not feel sickened is beyond me.
My heart hurts all the time. I just can’t believe this is where we are. Though it does seem Democrats are up 17+, 18+ points in special elections which gives me a glimmer of hope. Not that I think this two-party system is working for us, but it seems people across the country are expressing measurable, concrete displeasure with the current state of affairs when given the chance to vote. This is coming from Harry Enten, not me. It’s something to hold onto, and I’ll take it.
Thanks for being here. I appreciate it so much.
Wow. So many of us live in a bubble. Powerful words.
“I feel like we’ve all been shocked so much it’s now more disorienting to have a “normal day” when nothing insane happens -“
Thank you, Irene. It really is too much, we just aren’t built for the constant onslaught. Thank you for being here, sending you hugs and love ❤️
Ally, you hit it out of the park every time! I can relate to a lot of the mother issues--mine, not me--and the friend issues--and I'm sorry you had to deal with all of that. I have to say that I love the way you explained those important amendments! Sharing your wit and wisdom as always! Thank you for being you and sharing you with us!!
Thank you so much, Sharon. This means the world to me. I do try to somehow keep us laughing so we don’t lose our minds. You made my night. Thank you for being here ❤️🩹
Thank you for expressing my rage so perfectly and eloquently.
Thank you for being here, Retta ❤️
Very hard same, Ally.
I’m old so I take Tylenol Arthritis.
I wonder if people will take more Tylenol now, just generally. Kidding. Love to you, Mary.