Not Good Enough

Once when my son was almost five, we were driving down Lincoln Boulevard and suddenly from the backseat he asked me if I was going to die one day. His voice sounded strained, like he already knew the answer, because he did. His mind had landed on something and there wasn’t any unknowing it, but it was a thing that hadn’t occurred to him before and a thing he didn’t want to know.

I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw his bottom lip trembling, his huge blue eyes clouded over, his brow furrowed.

I pulled the car to the side of the road, turned it off, and unbuckled my seatbelt so I could turn all the way around and take his dimpled little hand in mine. “Someday, yes, but not for a very long time,” I said, and hoped that it was true. A fat tear spilled out of one eye, then the other. He wiped his tears with the backs of his hands. “I don’t want you to die, ever,” he said, “I don’t want you to leave me.” Then he started crying in earnest.

I climbed over the console and into the backseat, unbuckled his carseat and pulled him onto my lap. I held him as hard as I could and told him I would never leave him, because part of me would always be alive inside him, in his heart, and in his memories — and that I took really good care of myself and planned on living to be at least one hundred-and-eight. Which made him giggle a little. I told him I loved him more than all the stars in the sky, I loved him bigger than the universe, and wider than the entire ocean.

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A five-year-old should never be detained and I feel sick in my soul. What is happening to us? What kind of person can do that to a child? What kind of people can defend it?

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

I had a hard time getting my thoughts together this week because they’re taking children now. I’m sure I’m no different than many of you: heartbroken, furious, frustrated. Hours ago, they approved the funding bill for DHS which includes more money and no additional regulations for ICE — and by “they” I mean Congress, and by “they” I also mean seven Democrats who crossed party lines to vote with their Republican “colleagues”.

I feel the need to put that word in parentheses, because the root of the word is legare, a Latin verb meaning “to choose or send as a deputy or emissary” or “to bequeath.” That’s what Congress is supposed to be, a place where we, the people, have sent our emissaries to represent our needs and wants, and vote in a way that is in our best interests — but Congress has made a mockery of itself with very few exceptions.

Of course I want FEMA to function — that’s also part of this funding bill and why some of these Dems said they voted for it — but have they forgotten this vile president will withhold funds from blue states when disaster strikes? Way to go Seven Dems, you really came through for your constituents. Yes I want TSA agents to be paid, yes I want the US Coast Guard to have what it needs, but no, I do not trust this administration with our federal tax dollars — why would I? Why would they? Where is Rod Serling? Where is the rip in the matrix? Where is the older millennial throwing his head back telling us we’ve been punk’d? Any of that makes more sense than the reality that is our country right now.

At this point, Blue state governors could say:

We don’t trust this administration or our Republican senators anymore because they allow this President to impound funds Congress has appropriated. They are no longer following the laws of the Constitution, which clearly state Congress controls the purse strings. The current President allowed Elon Musk and six young dudes to enter the Treasury and compromise every American’s Social Security number and most sensitive financial data. The Supreme Court has granted the Executive Branch unprecedented immunity.

So, if we are now in a country where the President controls the purse strings and the rules, we will also make our own rules. We are advising any citizen in any of our states who feels they are being taxed by the federal government without fair representation in turn, to send their federal tax monies to this address or to upload to this secure link. Blue state governors have created an <escrow?> account where federal tax dollars will be held, due to violations of the Origination Clause and violations already listed above. These monies will not be touched unless or until they are needed by a Blue state to fund FEMA disaster relief, or to help Blue states defend themselves against the war being waged upon them by their own government. When we have a normal, functioning democracy again, funds will be turned over.

Or something. I don’t know, I’m spitballing here. Surely there are other people inside the system who could come up with better and more feasible ideas? Elected officials who realize this administration is not playing by the rules and it’s time to meet them on that playing field? Where the f%#@k are they? I’d like to see some bold and creative action items suggested from inside the house, since that’s where the calls are originating FFS.

I don’t know what would happen next, but I’d like to find out.

We could all say, I am not spending money with any corporation collaborating with ICE. Campaigns like this have brought a lot of heat to Spotify, Target, Home Depot and Hilton, for example. This doesn’t mean these companies have stopped collaborating, it means the public outcry has been significant and intense. This is having an effect on some corporations more than others. Maybe we double and triple down. In this country money is king. Let’s starve the king.

I saw Jack Smith’s testimony yesterday. If you have not watched, it is well worth your time. He is under attack by the potus, and will likely be under attack from the DOJ soon enough, because they are the president’s Personal Vendetta Crew, a thing that is a violation of the Constitution, ethics, morals, and the rule of law. Nonetheless, Smith said he will not be intimidated, he and his team had more than enough evidence to prove DJT is a treasonous criminal, and yes, he felt confident he could have proven that in a court of law beyond a reasonable doubt.

This is a lifelong prosecutor who has brought cases against members of both parties. He clearly stated no one should be above the law, not even the president.

Underneath a clip of his testimony, I saw a comment, If only we had this evidence sooner. We all had our eyes and ears, though, that should have been enough. Everyone saw what happened on January 6th. Everyone understood this president incited an insurrection, watched it unfold on television, refused to send out a tweet asking his followers to stop attacking the Capitol, to stand down, to go home, to take the noose with them, to stop calling for the death of Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi, to stop attacking capitol police. He didn’t do any of that. He watched it happen.

Then when he got back into Office, he pardoned every angry, violent rioter. Every domestic terrorist.

Why hasn’t Jonathan Ross been arrested? We all saw him murder Renee Nicole Good. We saw it from five different angles. Some of us have seen it frame-by-frame, in slow motion, with 3D renderings. We all heard him call her a fucking bitch when he was done. Any honest person understands he killed her because he was an angry man with a fragile ego. He hasn’t been arrested because this administration is pretending things are not what they are, their followers are following along, and the people in power with the means to disagree are scared to stand up. They’re afraid of retribution and civil war.

Maybe they should worry less. All you have to do is tell this man Renee’s dad was a fan (no idea if this is true), and his whole tune changes. Suddenly Renee Good is a “young woman” whose death was a “tragedy” and “ICE makes mistakes sometimes.”

They’re taking children. They are taking children. They killed Renee Nicole Good in cold blood, and now they are taking tiny children with bunny ears and pom poms on their heads and Spiderman backpacks, and it is not because their parents did anything wrong. It’s because the bottom has fallen out. They want to Make America White. I’m not writing “Again” because America has never been white, a thing they’d know if they cracked a history book.

There are people who felt better after the unhinged and embarrassing speech in Davos, because look, he backed away from military action in Greenland I mean Iceland I mean Greenland. He backed away because he got to Davos, and world leaders other than Mark Carney and Ursula von der Leyen appeased him. They assured him NATO would be there if the United States was attacked (again) — even as he disparaged NATO, suggested NATO countries had “stayed a little back, a little off the frontlines” in Afghanistan, and said he didn’t really think they’d be there to defend us if something went down.

And NATO countries are ungrateful?

The problem is, though, world leaders still pack it in to listen to this deranged madman insult them. Short-term relief that he isn’t going to take Greenland by force, and he isn’t going to impose his on-again/off-again tariffs, guarantee this insane behavior will continue. The market crashes, then it goes back up. Everything is transactional with this man, and I don’t know why ten years isn’t long enough for everyone to have gotten the memo.

Mark Carney said there is a “rupture” in the relationship between the United States and all NATO countries, and Ursula von der Leyen said there’s been a shift in the world order that is permanent — meaning it won’t matter who is president next, things between Europe and the U.S. will never be the same again.

I think that is true, at least for decades. It’s like being in a relationship with a horribly abusive person who goes for your jugular in front of a room full of people, then says he was kidding, then does it again, then apologizes. How many years before you realize the apologies are meaningless and there is no trust anymore? Most people do not like to demean themselves. Some leaders will “take one for the team” when dealing with this man, thinking they are working for their country’s best interests, but when you capitulate to a narcissist, you’re screwed. A narcissist will never respect a person they own.

They’re taking children. They’re shooting mothers in cold blood. They’ve decided The Fourth Amendment doesn’t apply to anyone whose door ICE decides to break down. Our friends in Minnesota are afraid to leave their houses, or they’re dropping off groceries to their neighbors who are afraid to leave the house, or they’re opting for zoom school because they’re taking children now. I don’t know how to stop thinking about Liam Ramos. That sweet little face. Five years old. He must want his mom so much. He must be so scared. He should be cuddled up with her, reading a book. He should be warm and cozy. His poor mom must be wild with worry.

It is devastating and it does not make us great. It makes us soulless. We need to primary every one of the Democrats who decided to trust these people with more of our tax dollars. Would another shutdown be painful? Isn’t what we’re going through right now painful in ways that are hard to fathom?

Seven Democrats joined with their Republican colleagues to fund DHS, and “body cams on ICE agents” aren’t the answer. You think a body cam on Jonathan Ross would have changed anything? We’d just have even more horrific angles to see the way he murdered her. This isn’t Good Enough.

Anyone make t-shirts out there? How ‘bout “Another F*%CKING B*TCH who cares about her neighbors” on the front, and “Be Good” on the back? Love to find someone who wants to do this and donate everything but the cost to the ACLU. Hit me up if that’s you.

They didn’t even get a line in this bill to guarantee U.S. citizens can’t be detained or deported by ICE. Well, they did get the line in there with bipartisan support, but the White House/Stephen Miller said no, and struck that line. Which is strange because the White House and Stephen Miller should have no part in bills passed by Congress. Which means Republicans were strong-armed by Stephen Miller and this president yet again. Hey Seven Dems, are you getting it yet? These people don’t play by the rules.

Those of us in blue states, the people the president calls “radical left scum”? Yeah, they’ll take our tax dollars and use our hard-earned money to wage war against us on our own streets. And you just voted yes on that because you think we’ll get FEMA money when we need it?

They don’t care about the Constitution, but they are not going to cancel the midterms — they’ll just do everything possible to mess with them. Redrawing maps, making it hard to vote in-person, screwing with the time-stamp on the USPS, challenging any outcomes they don’t like — and if all else fails, pretending there was some kind of fraud (again). We’re going to have to fight on every front. Maybe that will mean volunteering to work the polls, phone banking, going door-to-door. I’ve been thinking about throwing a Block Party, because even though I’ve lived on my block for twenty-plus years. I only have a handful of my neighbors’ phone numbers.

We’ve traded the village for DoorDash. We’ve opted for convenience over conversation, but we need each other, now more than ever. Start organizing right where you are. Maybe a Block Party isn’t your idea of a good time. I’m an introverted extrovert, or an extroverted introvert. Whatever I am, I’m good for 2-3 hours of socializing, so I get it if this isn’t your thing, but you need phone numbers.

You need to know who your safe people are, who needs help on your block, who might want to go door-to-door with you when it’s time to get people registered to vote, or maybe you can set up a table at your Block Party for that. Maybe you can offer to drive people to the polls if they need rides. Make it a potluck, get some sidewalk chalk, hand out whistles so people have them, maybe talk about a Neighborhood Watch, get bubbles for the kids, giant Jenga, and corn hole. Maybe a band, you never know who’s on your block.

It’s time to get in the streets, friends. They’re taking children.

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