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The Sensitive Artist's avatar

Boy, I felt this one in my bones. I know we’re not supposed to dwell too much on the past but I’m frequently stuck in mine. At times, that familiar ache of everything that is no longer, can feel more real than reality itself. Sending you love and big hugs, Ally.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Yes the older I get, the less I feel like time is linear. It really feels like it folds in on itself, so even if you aren’t dwelling on the past, it’s still going to meet you in the present sometimes. In whatever incarnation 🤍🤍

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The Sensitive Artist's avatar

Sending you a message in response to this because its long and rather in-depth lol!

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Wendy Varley's avatar

Those horses on the door! Having nowhere to put your feelings. Returning to your old home, your old room, your old school, all those memories. Having no armour. So evocative, Ally. I felt the love and loss.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Thank you, Wendy. I always know it’s going to be emotional, but I got blindsided by some things this week. Sigh. Lots of love from JFK xx

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Wendy Varley's avatar

Thank you for writing about it. Love to you, too x

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Wendy Doucette's avatar

Waking up this morning and reading this I feel suddenly transformed in space and time. Thank you for sharing your beautiful writing and your tender heart. And for bringing all us lucky lucky readers with you.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

This went right to my heart. Love you so much.

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Rona Maynard's avatar

A beautiful heart-wrencher. It does not get any easier to lose the ones you love.

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

It really does not 😔 Thank you, Rona x

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Peter Toth's avatar

Hi Ally, thank you as always for a brilliant, beautiful piece. You are right, there's something, some sort of shift that happens as we age and it starts to feel that there are way too many hard pills to swallows everywhere.

There is a good thing in growing old too though. I seem to be able to appreciate slower moments much better. Quite deeply actually. Usually it's connected to a song, Low Roar - Give up comes to mind, or something that Anneke does or says. Or that my orchid is going to bloom again and there's two tiny spiders living in and I always feel sorry for them when I spray it with water.

Also good essays count! I seem to have little interest in things that seem important on the surface but actually aren't, and instead I much more prefer ordinary things that people do with incredible kindness despite all that's fucked up.

Actually today an old man waved at me and said "I hope you will have a good day.". Not randomly, we're kind of friends, he's lost his wife, a dog last year and we meet ocassionally in the neighbourhood.

Anyway, thank you for being here and writing. Always.

All the best to you and your family. ❤️

Namaste. 🙏

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Thank you, Peter. I appreciate your comments so much ❤️ Love to you and Anneke as ever xx

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Socratez's avatar

Reminiscing is nearly always good! It kinda reassures one about the present! We may lose lots of things over time, but our memories aren’t one of them! Thanks for sharing, Ally!

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Ally Hamilton's avatar

Thanks for reading ❤️

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