Of Mice and Men

Once when I was nine I was walking home from school on the Upper West Side when I saw a group of kids in the courtyard of a building. I heard them before I saw them - that’s what got my attention - but when they came into view, they were crowded in a circle yelling like they were at a sporting event.

I was shy and would have kept walking, but I heard a bunch of the kids shouting, “Get it, get it!”

Underneath all the screaming, there was some other noise I couldn’t place, like chirping or yelping or something that didn’t sound right. There was a tall boy in the middle, and he seemed to be ramming a broomstick down hard into something I couldn’t see. I edged closer, and made out a white utility bucket in the middle of the mayhem.

Everyone was caught up in the frenzy of the kid, the broomstick and whatever was in the bucket, so I made it to the front of the circle, close enough that I could peer over the edge - to find a tiny mouse covered in some kind of white powder, running in frantic circles. As tiny as it was, its eyes were huge and terrified, and its heartbeat was pumping through its whole body. It had narrowly missed the boy’s last downward thrust - a thing I’d gotten there just in time to see.

“Hey, stop it!! What’re you doing??!” I don’t think I realized I’d cried out, but the kid with the broomstick froze mid-plummet and stared at me. So did everyone in the circle - and to my horror, tears had already welled up and my heart was racing much like the mouse’s.

“I’m trying to kill it,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Why, though?!” I asked him, tears streaming down my face. He looked like he wasn’t sure what to make of me. He was older, at least fourteen or fifteen. He shifted from one foot to the other and shrugged.

“I dunno, it’s just a mouse. Do you want it?”

I wiped my eyes quickly and nodded and he picked up the bucket and handed it to me. I had to work to get my arms around it. Kids started dispersing, some of them looked sheepish. I sniffled thanks at the same time he mumbled sorry. I think he was sorry. I don’t think he knew why he was trying to kill that mouse. I don’t think the kids rooting for him knew why they were doing that, or if they really wanted the mouse to die.

I imagine if I hadn’t walked by and he had killed the mouse, it would not have been a good memory for any of them. I’ve written about the mouse before, for other reasons. I talked to her all the way home and did my best to make sure she was okay. I hope she had a happy life.

Not her, maybe a relative. Photo by Nikolett Emmert on Unsplash

If I put my armchair psychologist glasses on, I’d guess someone was violent to that boy at home, he saw a moment when he could feel powerful - and grabbed the broomstick without thinking. Maybe if the broomstick hadn’t been there, it would have gone differently. Maybe he saw the mouse in the bottom of the bucket - trapped and scared - related to those feelings, and wanted to stamp them out of himself. I’ll never know. What I do know is that I couldn’t bear it.

I’ve never been able to understand why anyone would hurt an animal - or a human being - who has no chance of defending themselves. Why a person would choose to be cruel when they could be kind. It’s as confusing to me now as it was when I was nine. It was confusing to me earlier than that, and I hope it never makes sense. The day it does is the day I’ve lost the thread. It’s probably the only thread that matters when it comes down to it - the one that we follow so we don’t lose the best parts of ourselves.

If you live in the states, I don’t have to tell you we’re on day three of a government shutdown. If you signed onto any government website right now, you’d be told the shutdown is the fault of the “Radical Left” which is really weird and also probably almost definitely illegal because of the Hatch Act and/or the Anti-Lobbying Act - but you’d have to be dealing with an administration that cares about laws. If you called the White House, you’d hear an outgoing message left by Karoline Leavitt telling you the same thing:

“Hi, we can’t come to the phone right now because Radical Left lunatics want transgender for everyone and also $1.5 trillion dollars and also top-of-the-line free healthcare for anyone who comes running over the open borders they also want, so they’ve shut down the government even though Republicans control the House, the Senate and the Executive Branch (and also the Supreme Court, wink) - but please leave a message and someone will get back to you!”

I’m paraphrasing, but she did leave an outgoing message, and it’s pretty much that, minus the true part about Republicans controlling everything. Obviously.

If you want to understand what’s really happening, maybe this will help. I get my health insurance through the Affordable Care Act because I’m self-employed. Right now, my monthly premium is $346 because of the Affordable Care Act subsidies - money given to each state to help with the cost of health insurance (thanks Obama), and additional Biden-era tax credits. The subsidies and tax credits are set to expire December 31st.

Republicans are refusing to extend the subsidies permanently - or even temporarily -because they want that money to give more tax breaks to the people who need them the least, and so they can fund all the ICE agents. Democrats are using the only leverage they have to try to get them to do the right thing so that Americans’ premiums will not increase by a projected average of 114%. The “One Big, Beautiful Bill Act” which the Republican Party has tried to rebrand as the “Working Families Tax Cut Act” (Jesus wept) could have - and still can - include a permanent extension of the subsidies.

Here is what this looks like for me as far as my health insurance costs, and this is an actual screenshot from my portal today:

So at the moment, unless Democrats are able to negotiate with their Republican colleagues successfully, the health insurance plan I have, which currently costs $346.46/month, will go up to $1706.59/month January 1st. There is no way I can manage that with one kid in college and another right behind him. No one I know has an extra $1400 a month lying around these days. That is, of course, not including co-pays, prescriptions, or any unforeseen emergencies.

I am not alone in this madness. Anyone who gets their benefits through Medicaid is also going to see staggering increases to their costs - and please understand, this is Democrats, Republicans, Independents, and people who don’t vote. This is going to impact everyone.

I work my ass off, we live in a developed country, and it is an embarrassment that this is where we are, truly.

In case graphs make life easier right now here are the essential things to know about the “Big, Beautiful Bill” - taken from the BBC article linked above:

That is, by far, the most staggering cut to Medicaid made by any administration, ever. You may recall this Bill was rushed through by the arbitrary Presidentially-imposed deadline of July 4th. Not a single Democrat voted for this budget bill, and three Republicans voted against it as well, leaving JD Vance to break the tie. I’ll get back to him in a minute. I have things to say.

You may be hearing the term “clean CR” thrown around. As in, “until Democrats agree to a clean CR the government will be shut down.” A CR is a “continuing resolution” - a temporary spending measure passed by Congress to continue to fund the government for a short period of time (usually at the same levels of the previous year). They happen when Congress and the President FAIL to enact the 12 regular annual appropriations bills by the start of the fiscal year - October 1st.

When you can’t even get a CR to pass, you end up with a government shutdown. According to the President, this occurs when a President is weak. First and last time I’ll agree with him.

A “clean CR” means funding only, whereas a “modified CR” might include minor changes or legislative provisions to address urgent needs. CRs can be negotiating tools for the party in the minority, because it’s the only power they have. So, imagine for a moment, you’re a Democrat senator, and back in March - you did, in fact, sign a clean CR (they did). You agreed to fund the government and the current administration so that it - and you - could continue your work for the American people.

In return, your Republican colleagues - in collusion with the sitting President - went ahead and impounded funds you had agreed would be going to pay for various projects and interests around the country, and in some cases around the globe.

Congress controls the purse strings according to the Constitution. The government works for the people of the entire country, regardless of Party. We vote (those of us who participate in what was a democratic republic and is now something I recognize less every day), and we send our representatives to our state capitols, and to Washington. We pay state and federal taxes, god help us. Our representatives go to Washington and negotiate and represent our needs. Our tax dollars fund the whole thing. These people work for us, all the way to the top.

So if Congress controls the purse strings, and deals have been made after hours and weeks and months of negotiations, and conversations, and lunches, and phone calls, and time spent on committees - and everything has been stamped and agreed upon…and then the President decides he’s sending an unelected billionaire into the U.S. Treasury with 6 kids with flash drives to steal everyone’s most sensitive financial information and their Social Security numbers, too - that’s insane and should have been shut down immediately. But no Republican senators stopped him, and none of his supporters objected.

They just smiled and asked why we’d care if Elon Musk wanted to get rid of waste, fraud and abuse. Except he didn’t, he just made himself a lot richer.

Then that unelected billionaire started making decisions no one in Congress agreed to, and the President told - and continues to tell - Republican senators to impound funds or else, and they listen. Grabbing funds back after Congress has appropriated them is unconstitutional. But no Republican senator is stopping this man, and neither is the Supreme Court.

So what have we learned? If Democrats sign a clean CR, Republicans will do whatever the President tells them to, constitutional or not. Beyond that, it isn’t his money he’s grabbing back, or deciding to invest in crypto, or giving to Jared Kushner to go make deals and gain himself billions in investments as he does - that’s our money. We, the people.

I’d like some affordable healthcare. That’s literally the only thing that’s being asked for right now. I’d like other things, too, of course. I’d like kids to have free lunches at school if they need them. I’d like the absolute bullshit with tariffs to stop, I’d like groceries to be affordable, I have this wacko leftist idea that we should tax millionaires and billionaires fairly. I want all people to have due process and equal protection under the law, I want my friends to feel safe, I want to feel safe. I do not feel safe.

This story about healthcare for undocumented immigrants is another lie. If you are confused about whether undocumented immigrants can receive healthcare benefits, please, for the love of god, read this.

The Republicans have refused to negotiate in good faith with their Democrat colleagues, and why would they? The President goes on tv and says he “hates his opponents”, calls Democrats “radical left wing lunatics”, and refuses to meet with Democratic leadership himself - until the day before the government shutdown. Democrats tried over and over again. Hakeem Jeffries, Minority Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives, was never able to meet with the President before Monday of this week.

During the bipartisan group discussion that included Chuck Schumer - he said two “Trump 2028” hats appeared on the Resolute Desk - and I have no reason to doubt that.

After the meeting, the sitting President of the United States of America posted a deep fake video of Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries that is so racist and ugly I will not attach it here. Then he did it again the next day with another video, equally as demeaning to the Office of the Presidency. He demeans the country with that behavior. I’ve never seen anything like this in my lifetime, this man has turned our country into a joke. It isn’t funny, though.

That was Tuesday, the day of his shockingly embarrassing speech to our military leaders about how he walks down stairs slowly, why he’s mad he hasn’t gotten the Nobel Peace Prize, and how Portland is a war zone. No, it is not, but he’ll probably pretend it’s the eleventh war he’s solved. This is after Kegseth lectured them on being fat, and on male excellence - a thing he knows jack shit about.

Then, in yet another stunning display of the opposite of male excellence, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson refused to swear in newly elected Democratic Representative Adelita Grijalva of Arizona. She won a special election to fill the seat of her late father, and vowed to be the 218th signature necessary to force the release of the Epstein files, but Mikey sent everyone home. Not sure how long they can keep this up, or what they have to hide, but it must be really, really bad.

JD Vance said the President’s deep fake videos weren’t racist, they were funny! Haha! He’s just having a good laugh. That man is in line to be our next president - a thing that gives me no joy or sense of relief that things will be better - and apparently the inner circle is well aware the current President is unhinged and unwell. Let me be clear - that is me saying that if the President has dementia or some other mental impairment aside from rampant callousness and imperviousness to the needs of anyone but himself - it brings me no relief to think of President JD.

ICE raids are now being filmed like movies - at taxpayers’ expense - and I guess we’ve gotten to the part where they start rappelling down from helicopters, breaking doors, and grabbing children who are half-dressed, in diapers, or not dressed at all, putting them in U-hauls, zip-tied together, separated from their mothers. Do people not care because they’re Venezuelan? Would you care if I told you American citizens were also rounded up, zip-tied and detained?

These are children, but some people don’t care because “their parents should have thought of that before they sought asylum here.” Good luck at the Pearly Gates with your boy Jesus. I don’t think he’s gonna be impressed. I feel certain he wouldn’t want children treated that way.

How can anyone miss - these ICE agents, the president, the VP, Kegseth, Stephen Miller - these are the “men” who once were the boys with broomsticks? If no one intervenes early, if nothing happens to change the trajectory, it gets worse. They get angrier and more vindictive. They seek revenge and retribution. They want to hurt the most vulnerable because it makes them feel bigger and better…for a minute. It never lasts and it’s never enough.

This whole thing is rotten. Now, to try to force Democrats to sign the CR without any compromise, the President is making threats. He’ll fire (more) federal workers, a thing he’s been doing since he was sworn in. He’ll blackmail Democrats by impounding funds appropriated by Congress for blue state projects and programs. I really hope the governors in those states withhold federal taxes in response.

He’ll twist the knife and make people suffer until they give in, that’s what he’s thinking. He’ll keep saying it’s the Democrats because he thinks his supporters are that stupid, or that loyal. You can’t give in to a bully, it never ends. These are the men who drive the broomstick into the bucket until they see blood, then they laugh. It sucks for all of us. These are the worst people to put in power, but it’s done, so this is the ugly part.

Why don’t some of y’all care about these things until they’re happening to you?

I’ll never understand. But I’ll cry every time.

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