“There’s a part of me that feels terrible sharing this with you, like I’m betraying her from beyond the grave. I want to rush to tell you she loved me, she had trauma, she was twenty-four when she had me, she didn’t mean it. I don’t want you to think badly of her. She had a lot of incredible qualities.”
Both things can be true. This simple concept, which I first heard from Colette Baron, Reid helped me immensely.
My mom was sweet, caring, and kind; all of my cousins went to her for these qualities. She was also cutting, critical, and cruel to me, not always, but often enough that my stomach would clench on my way to visit her, not knowing when the painful wounds would be cracked open by careless words.
Both things can be true.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom. I appreciate you.
Yes. Thank you for this, I appreciate it. It’s so unfortunate how many people seem to have lost the capacity for nuance and messiness and the potential for more than one thing to be true at the same time. Thank you for being here, Patricia❤️🩹
your young experiences rang a bell for me (actually many bells). I was the eldest son, and I absorbed a lot of the alcohol fueled anger until I finally left home at the age of thirteen. My saving grace was moving to Yosemite at the age of nineteen and living and working in the park for five years. I used to call it the granite womb, but the beauty birthed a survivor. In some ways that is all we can ever be, survivors.
I can curse the abusive hands that hurt, and drop to my knees in gratitude for the beauty they created. And I can wish with every fiber of my being that the immense gift of you didn’t have to be forged so brutally. I’m grateful for all of you. xo
That first section...woof. I felt every word of it, becuase I've lived it. It makes me sad to think of our little girl selves, walking with all of THAT on our shoulders.
NYC note though -- that is a LONG ASS WALK to do twice a day! And the way back? Those hills!
“There’s a part of me that feels terrible sharing this with you, like I’m betraying her from beyond the grave. I want to rush to tell you she loved me, she had trauma, she was twenty-four when she had me, she didn’t mean it. I don’t want you to think badly of her. She had a lot of incredible qualities.”
Both things can be true. This simple concept, which I first heard from Colette Baron, Reid helped me immensely.
My mom was sweet, caring, and kind; all of my cousins went to her for these qualities. She was also cutting, critical, and cruel to me, not always, but often enough that my stomach would clench on my way to visit her, not knowing when the painful wounds would be cracked open by careless words.
Both things can be true.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom. I appreciate you.
Yes. Thank you for this, I appreciate it. It’s so unfortunate how many people seem to have lost the capacity for nuance and messiness and the potential for more than one thing to be true at the same time. Thank you for being here, Patricia❤️🩹
Sjoe! Feeling you, deeply. Thanks for sharing so openly and with emotive vulnerability 🙏 💜
Thank you for being here to read it ❤️🩹🥹
your young experiences rang a bell for me (actually many bells). I was the eldest son, and I absorbed a lot of the alcohol fueled anger until I finally left home at the age of thirteen. My saving grace was moving to Yosemite at the age of nineteen and living and working in the park for five years. I used to call it the granite womb, but the beauty birthed a survivor. In some ways that is all we can ever be, survivors.
I can curse the abusive hands that hurt, and drop to my knees in gratitude for the beauty they created. And I can wish with every fiber of my being that the immense gift of you didn’t have to be forged so brutally. I’m grateful for all of you. xo
That first section...woof. I felt every word of it, becuase I've lived it. It makes me sad to think of our little girl selves, walking with all of THAT on our shoulders.
NYC note though -- that is a LONG ASS WALK to do twice a day! And the way back? Those hills!