This episode is all about love, and I am so thankful I got to dig into this topic with these two fantastic human beings and phenomenal writers. Kate’s novel, Book of Grace, is a sweeping, epic love story that cannot be stopped by time, loss, death — or all the different ways women sometimes prevent themselves from following their inner compass because they put themselves last on the list.
It asks the questions, how do we love what doesn’t stay? How do we give people grace when they can’t choose us, they can’t choose themselves, or they tell us goodbye for other reasons? Is our love still valid and worthwhile?
How would life be if people were their best and highest selves when life handed them curveballs — even painful ones? What would that look like, and what could grow if forgiveness was the soil? What if we didn’t hold on so tightly to our vision of how things should be, and instead allowed something wild and unexpected to take root and flourish?
Is it possible we’d be amazed? Is it possible everyone under the tree would blossom?
As if to answer those very questions, Katrina’s book, Hurricane Lessons: A memoir of betrayal and becoming is about the unraveling of her twenty-year marriage, and the reclamation of her true self. Sometimes you walk into a Pilates studio thinking you’re there to strengthen your core, and it turns your life inside out. The experience blows through your family like a hurricane.
You will be rooting for Katrina every step of the way, but you probably know that just from listening to the talk.
We talked about grief. We talked about complicated grief, and how relationships don’t end when people die. We could have talked for hours.
I cannot recommend these books enough. These are strange times in our country. There is a persistent and intentional attack on women’s rights, on the LGBTQ community, on women who have decided not to have children, and women who have children, but no support. There are systemic issues like the gender pay gap, a lack of affordable childcare, PTO, affordable healthcare, and a continued pressure for women to carry the mental load for everyone.
These are the stories we need in the world right now. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did (the joy) and I hope you will order these incredible books if you can!
Also, big shoutout and so much gratitude to everyone who showed up to be with us live! Elissa Altman thank you for making us laugh, pretty sure the thumbnail attached here is thanks to you, and Paul Crenshaw thank you for this incredible Jack Gilbert poem you recommended when we were talking about reframing relationships that end. A divorce is not a failure. It’s simply a relationship that ended.
