I don't know how you do it. I started to write about this and it was ranting, full of rage. Which is fine (and called for) but it made me heartsick so I stopped. I don't know how you piece it all together, so coherently, compassionately, and wisely when I know that you are brokenhearted, too. I received a plea for funds from Everytown. (I do, often, and I have given them a lot.) I just don't know that that's the right approach anymore. It's moved the needle zero. I don't know the way to make real change, but I think we need to pivot.
I feel so much fury it’s hard to describe and this is *the* topic where I find it almost impossible to keep my head together. I am fucking devastated every single time. It throws me into a spiral and the only thing that saved me this time is I saw Kate’s “memoir without words” - the one with the sunflowers and Riggs. It came at the exact right second and gave me just enough to hold onto so I could think. My biggest fear around this is that people give up because it’s so depressing and demoralizing. That they stop talking about it sooner each time and look away and shrug and decide school shootings are just another thing we have to get used to like fascism - and no fucking way. I refuse to accept that.
Thank you for saying all those kind things. I feel like there is a part of myself I keep separate when I write about this because if I went into the center of all that pain I don’t know if I’d make it out. Love you. Thanks for being here, Wendy❤️🩹
I refuse to accept it, too. I refuse to accept so much of *this*. I'm fucking sick of it. That doesn't mean we can't do better. I love you, too. A lot.
I'm glomming on here because, as I read parts of this out loud to my spouse I said, "The whole thing sends me into such a state of rage that I can barely form coherent sentences." So, thank you, Ally, for doing that here. Like Wendy, I'm so disillusioned, which is not to say I'm done trying, just acknowledging how hard it is to keep at it when NOTHING FUCKING CHANGES.
The one sliver of possible silver lining I can sort of see is akin to the addict hitting bottom, and the hold-out of hope that enough people will see the crash-landing into the abyss we're doing now is - eureka! - not what they actually want for their and their kids' futures.
But, then we lose another set of precious human lives, and I wonder if I'm delusional.
What's that quote? Hope is optimism with a broken heart. Yeah, that.
My hat is off to you, Ally, and you, Wendy and to all of us who keep pressing forward in the best ways we know how.
I’m not without hope either, it’s just so tinged with rage and exhaustion at this point because I cannot fathom how we’ve let it go on this long. And I agree, it seems like those of us who have felt this way the entire time are finally not allowing this “don’t make it political” bs to stand any longer, so that does feel like *some* kind of progress, but my god. Wtf and all the expletives Elizabeth. And hugs to you and to all of us. Some things should not be this hard.
As always, I love your writing. To begin, thank you for reminding me of the joy that my son gave me (I feel like I can almost reach back to his happy heart and laughter sometimes) and for putting into words how I feel about mass shootings of kids. As a retired teacher, when we heard reports of shootings my heart would break. Over the years my response changed; learn what could/would happen in order to protect my "kids" if it happened in my school to getting sad (weeping) then angry about the futility and wondering what the hell is going on in people's brains that makes them think there's no need for sane gun control.
Of all the things that enrage me and send me into a spiral of despair, this is at the very top. I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that we refuse to keep our children - and our teachers - safe at school. How sick do you have to be as a society to watch children being shot down at school week after week, month and month, year after year, *for decades* and really not do much of anything at all?? And then you have the very same people who want to deny women bodily autonomy because “abortion is murder” telling you not to even think about touching their guns. The fury I feel, Sharon. And people get upset for a few days and then it fades until the next time. I can’t take it. Our kids deserve so much better and so do we. Thank you for being here. Your words mean so much to me. Not sure how we’d all get through this without the people who feel like home, so believe me, the gratitude goes both ways 🙏🏼❤️🩹
"Your writing feels like home." This is such an insightful comment. That's exactly what Ally's writing feels like. Not the home I had, but the home I want.
Sandy Hook is what made us decide to stay abroad even though the plan was always supposed to be to go back to NYC. My kids were 8 and 4 at the time. My husband, not an American, just looked at me and said, I can't do it, I can't go back knowing this is reality, and I understood exactly what he meant. And I am grateful every single moment of every single day that we had to opportunity to make that choice.
I've referred to the US as Agamemnon before, particularly 2A froth-at-the-mouthers, sacrificing its children for favorable winds, or in this case, the right to own a weapon of war. Generation PTSD.
It is a uniquely American trait to somehow “get used to” school shootings and mass shootings and I guess I am just not made of that stuff because it *destroys* me every time. I have no doubt I’ve lost years off my life from the stress of having school-age children in this mess. It was the one upside of COVID and having them home. The older I get the less I understand this country or wtf we’re doing. It is a genuine heartbreak and outrage and I am not ready to throw in the towel and give up because there are so many people here I care about but my god. The people still in support of this insanity, Dina. It does me in. And I am thinking about my “third act” and wondering what that might look like, but to leave my kids would need to want to leave, too. It’s all so sad.
You’re a fucking magician, Hamilton. You walk through the labyrinth of hell that is our current government and you squeeze every atrocity for its essence— its humanity. And if that weren’t enough, you then serve it to us here— full of heart and wisdom and a breathtaking tenderness.
Really really fucking grateful for your voice. Always, but right now especially.
Oh, Kate, you made me cry. Thank you for this. Not sure if you saw in my comments to Wendy, but I found out about the shooting and it threw me into a state the way it always does. I feel very sure I wouldn’t have been able to write anything at all for days, but then about a minute later as I was actively spiraling and ready to just call it for the day, I saw your memoir without words - with the sunflowers and Riggs - and it was enough to pull me back from the abyss. So, we’re working the magic together and I’m really fucking grateful for you, too. Always, but also especially now.
Wednesday proved without a shadow of a doubt that the Republican Party loves fetuses but hates babies. Celebrates that life begins at conception but have no problem if it ends with a bullet in grade school. The “Right to Life” crowd seems to covet the right to impose death on our children. If the bullets don’t get them the measles will.
It’s madness and I cannot listen to it nor take seriously arguments from people who care about a fetus - but not a living, breathing child. It’s not about the sanctity of life if you can look at this and offer nothing but words. Oh, the rage, Stephani. Thank you for being here, truly. It makes me feel less alone. I know there are millions and millions of us who feel this way, but it is good to connect and rage against this insanity together. It helps❤️🩹🙏🏼
That is their whole point: you (as a parent, teacher, community member, human on planet earth) don't have the right to give your input on how to raise the next generation. They feel you must EARN that right. And, funny enough, only people like them have earned it. They seem genuinely offended that other people exist without their input. And they are working ceaselessly to stop that offense by stripping away rights and a shared legal and community framework in favor of sweaty-minded lunatics like them banning books, killing children, punishing women and ruining our future.
We need to go back to the beginning and start again. We need to tell our children - and ourselves - a much better story. A story where good overcomes evil and wishes come true and good things still happen and people care about protecting children and each other - and rainbows appear right when you want them. If only there was a spell for that.
You're weaving the spell. All of us are. May it someday work.
I think a LOT of those 'Christians' will eventually devolve to "well you should keep your kids at home and do homeschooling because there's no other way to stop this. And if you don't homeschool, well then you're a bad and selfish mom who chose to let them get killed." (And yes - let's be clear - that message will be for moms only). Forced homeschooling is the gateway drug to everything they want to implement but can't yet: patriarchal control, indoctrination, racism, sexism, controlling women's fertility and movements, tying women to the home, making women economically dependent on a man and marriage, leaving the next generation less educated and easier to control, etc, etc, etc. They've tried a bunch of different ways to drag us into the past. If they can't implement their world vision any other way, they are happy to let a bunch of kids die so that they can. To them, it's worth it. They'll pray for your heathen children, but they don't care or respect you. They have no desire to live in a shared community with you or care about anything beyond their own desire to control everything and everyone around them.
Sadly I think you are correct. It’s the “trad wife” culture and there’s a huge push that is currently targeting young girls and women. That’s why the PragerU crap is so utterly despicable along with ⬆️ everything else you just mentioned. These are terrible people with terrible ideas and it is amazing and scary how many people are not seeing it.
Going to try to keep this concise but will most likely fail miserably.
Have always been skeptical on religion, started when my brother was not able to attend to Sunday school (he has developmental disabilities) as he might be "disruptive". I did not get how any God who made him just as he is would deem him unworthy of church class. Still don't get it.
However....
When I had my recent brain surgery, I had a good number of folks ask if they could pray for me. Absolutely. And when I had the procedure done, I really did feel protected by the forcefield of positive energy and such. God, Holy Spirit, good juju, whatever. I felt it.
However....
I recently watched another Katrina documentary (can't stop, won't stop) and there was a clip of Governor Blanco telling people to PRAY FOR THE HURRICANE TO CHANGE DIRECTION. Come on. Praying on top of being proactive and taking steps to prepare and not ignoring years old advice that the infrastructure wasn't going to hold, sure. Prayer does not change meteorology any more than wishing and hoping.
So those who are trying to get the devil to stop putting guns in peoples' hands are straight up delusional. We have to face the facts that politicians are ill prepared to deal with real tragedy or even real change (aka their JOB) despite the fact that it is now so frequent (climate change related disaster, mass shootings, etc) They just read from the "thoughts and prayers" playbook and keep going, many paid off by the fucking NRA to keep smiling.
Fuck these clowns. I want their kids to wake up afraid to go to school and afraid their houses might be swept away. I am currently thrilled to live in Chicago where at least Gov Pritzker isn't afraid to tell the Cheez Whiz emperor that troops aren't welcome here. DJT chickened out of making a speech in 2016 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Donald_Trump_Chicago_rally_protest) because he was fearful of the protesters. We ain't backing down.
I know you aren't backing down either, Ally. Thank you for reading my TED talk. Enjoy your weekend. ❤️
I love your TED talk, Eileen. I am with you. It made me think of the late, great John Lewis and how he used to refer to an old African proverb: “When you pray, move your feet” - which is, in my opinion, a better way of saying “prayer without works” is not enough. If you are praying you also have to be taking meaningful action. Bonus round: he also showed what a politician should be and could be.
I have a lot of feelings about the way religions (all of them) can be twisted in the wrong hands. I’ve seen it happen so many times. I have a close family member who is basically in a cult and it is heartbreaking.
I am in favor of any practice that gives a person comfort, makes them a better human being, and a better neighbor. But when someone’s religion teaches them bigotry and hatred I’m out. Or when people start sounding like they know what happens after this and how things work with absolute certainty - so much that they’re going to start telling other people how to live or love, I’m like, wow. Cool. Your god is the real god, huh? Your religion is the only religion? Your job is to save someone else’s soul from eternal damnation by being a horrific and hateful bastard to them? Interesting. Anyhoo.
I agree, Robert, that’s the best thing I’ve read as far as legislative reform that might make a real difference without infringing on anyone’s rights. And I am savvy enough to understand there is no conversation in this country that is going to exist in a meaningful way outside of that context. Which is fine. The literal only thing I care about is that we stop seeing these school shooting, mass shootings, children dying because guns were not stored properly, gun violence death due to domestic violence, and on and on. Thanks for sharing🙏🏼
Unfortunately I don’t see legislative competency, let alone reform, taking place any time soon. I will continue to try to change myself and the few people I am privileged to be living life with. This is small but real change. Perhaps a generation of politicians will arise from the ashes of our political self-immolation and lead us toward peace and a more just society. FWIW, I believe this will inevitably happen; the arc of the Universe does bend towards justice, even when we are in a momentary season of regression. At least this is what I hope and choose to believe. Now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
I don’t see it now, either, but I refuse to believe we will continue to sit back and let this go on and on (all evidence since Columbine to the contrary). I think we need to get smarter about how we fight for change. The licensing ideas in the article you shared are great, for example. Maybe different kinds of lawsuits to effect that change. The Constitution was meant to be amended after all. I dunno, I’m exhausted at the moment but not defeated 🤘🏼
I understand the exhaustion, I really do. My solution, which I don’t prescribe or believe should be normative, but which nevertheless has enabled me to retain a certain degree of sanity and sangfroid, is to ingest very little news at all. In the long and very helpful article I’m linking here, the author breaks issues down into three categories and suggests:
“When you’re about to have an opinion, first ask yourself whether it’s on a primary, secondary, or tertiary issue. On tertiary issues, be silent. On secondary issues, be humble. On primary issues, be passionate.”
What I found leading up to the 2016 election was that my FB feed was a maelstrom of hate and ignorance and virtue-signaling over tertiary and secondary issues, with enough affirmation of my passions to keep me hooked. Everywhere. All the time. I could feel myself getting to be a worse person, losing my compassion for a lot of real people I actually knew.
So I got off FB permanently, and subsequently dropped IG as well. I rarely watch TV and don’t watch news shows either. I came to Substack as a bit of a refuge from it all, but I’m beginning to wonder.
Anyway, as I said, I don’t defend my retreat from the 24/7 news cycle bath of trauma as a solution for everyone. But it’s what I had to do. I still get plenty of news of the main issues of the day; it’s impossible to avoid. So I stay current, or at least as current as allows me to focus on the issues that I am passionate about and which I can engage with a measure of love and grace and purposeful action.
In spite of all I’ve said, thank you and others who thoughtfully and passionately are fighting against the spirit embodied by so many in power.
Good luck and peace of mind to you as you sort out the best path forward for yourself.
I don't care anymore to know the political affiliation, religion, gender identity, economic status, race, or rationale of any mass shooter. It is meaningless to the dead. It is irrelevant to the survivors. The common denominator is that they are willing to pick up an automatic weapon and murder strangers to address their petty, misinformed grievances.
There are so many things to fix-lack of control, unfettered hate speech and misinformation on social media, spirit-crushing political cruelty...
I feel a bit like Tinker Bell just now, needing some proof that enough of us believe we can come back from this. I hope so.
If we’re going to politicize anything (and it is political), let’s politicize the party responsible for blocking sane gun control legislation every chance they get. Period. We can fight like hell at school boards and at the state and federal level, we can go to protests and donate and believe me when I say I have and will continue to do all of that. But we need to pressure the fuck out of the people who keep throwing themselves in front of measures and bills that would make a difference. I have had it. Another school year and my nervous system is already taxed as I kiss my daughter goodbye in the morning. Smh. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much❤️🩹🙏🏼
Hello Ally, I'm a bit behind with reading sorry! You probably won't like this, but Ibe spent quite some time debating morals and human condition with AI. I was trying not to fall into this AI thing but I thought same as I'm googling things and various articles come up, it's up to me to critically assess what I'm presented with. And what scared me was that for some reason, humans as whole don't seem to have one conscious dream of everyone being happy. I've even asked it about how come various religions seem to paint the picture of some afterlife where things get good and not really focusing on making Earth good? It almost feels as if whatever evolution was doing it centered it around survival and we somehow hacked the reward circuitry and fucked everything up.
I think you're right it's a disease, some weird warping of our perception. I und that people might have used term devil for things that they desired (I myself have desired many things that I knew were not good) and wondering why their brain is basically sabotaging their good life. Even right now I'm procrastinating and commenting here when I should be working! I can't say it's devil, but I know it's not my best part choosing this either. That's why I'm fascinated by neuroscience and how we actually operate.
Sorry for going off the track! Thank you for sharing your brilliant thoughts as always!
If someone tells you that he is Napoleon are you required to agree with him? If you fail to endorse his delusions are you being Napoleonphobic? If he tells you that he needs a gun to defeat Wellington do you allow him to purchase one?
It is exactly the same situation if a man tells you that he is a woman. No one can change their biological sex. The mentally ill are entitled to freely live their lives with sympathy and care but not forced acceptance of their fantasies and never should they be allowed to possess deadly weapons. The recent Minneapolis murders of children are a result of ignoring this reality.
You are pathetically victimizing your false beliefs at the cost of others in the form of violence and oppression. Pure cowardice and lack of curiosity of anything that doesn’t make you feel secure and superior. You didn’t come here in good faith, you came to make yourself feel good. Just as likely to be a bot or a political shill.
If someone has Heisenberg as their profile picture are you required to think they’re a renegade genius or treat their arguments as meaningful?
There have been roughly 420 school shootings since Columbine and 0.1% of them have been at the hands of people who identified as transgender.
Maybe go back and read the essay again more slowly. Transgender people are not the problem - except in your mind.
Yes, I think the shooter in this case needed a lot of mental health support she did not receive, just like every school shooter from the beginning of this madness decades ago. To go into a school with a gun or guns and shoot down children means you are in the midst of a mental health crisis - which is why the laws need to change so that people having a mental health crisis can’t go buy guns. Along with access to mental health support, which this administration just gutted. I said all that, guess you missed it.
I think the whole country needs mental health support at this point, because living this way is not normal,
and you definitely need help if you want to make this issue about transgender people. Kids are dying in our country because of this madness every week, month after month, year after year, for decades now.
I don't know how you do it. I started to write about this and it was ranting, full of rage. Which is fine (and called for) but it made me heartsick so I stopped. I don't know how you piece it all together, so coherently, compassionately, and wisely when I know that you are brokenhearted, too. I received a plea for funds from Everytown. (I do, often, and I have given them a lot.) I just don't know that that's the right approach anymore. It's moved the needle zero. I don't know the way to make real change, but I think we need to pivot.
I feel so much fury it’s hard to describe and this is *the* topic where I find it almost impossible to keep my head together. I am fucking devastated every single time. It throws me into a spiral and the only thing that saved me this time is I saw Kate’s “memoir without words” - the one with the sunflowers and Riggs. It came at the exact right second and gave me just enough to hold onto so I could think. My biggest fear around this is that people give up because it’s so depressing and demoralizing. That they stop talking about it sooner each time and look away and shrug and decide school shootings are just another thing we have to get used to like fascism - and no fucking way. I refuse to accept that.
Thank you for saying all those kind things. I feel like there is a part of myself I keep separate when I write about this because if I went into the center of all that pain I don’t know if I’d make it out. Love you. Thanks for being here, Wendy❤️🩹
I refuse to accept it, too. I refuse to accept so much of *this*. I'm fucking sick of it. That doesn't mean we can't do better. I love you, too. A lot.
I'm glomming on here because, as I read parts of this out loud to my spouse I said, "The whole thing sends me into such a state of rage that I can barely form coherent sentences." So, thank you, Ally, for doing that here. Like Wendy, I'm so disillusioned, which is not to say I'm done trying, just acknowledging how hard it is to keep at it when NOTHING FUCKING CHANGES.
The one sliver of possible silver lining I can sort of see is akin to the addict hitting bottom, and the hold-out of hope that enough people will see the crash-landing into the abyss we're doing now is - eureka! - not what they actually want for their and their kids' futures.
But, then we lose another set of precious human lives, and I wonder if I'm delusional.
What's that quote? Hope is optimism with a broken heart. Yeah, that.
My hat is off to you, Ally, and you, Wendy and to all of us who keep pressing forward in the best ways we know how.
I’m not without hope either, it’s just so tinged with rage and exhaustion at this point because I cannot fathom how we’ve let it go on this long. And I agree, it seems like those of us who have felt this way the entire time are finally not allowing this “don’t make it political” bs to stand any longer, so that does feel like *some* kind of progress, but my god. Wtf and all the expletives Elizabeth. And hugs to you and to all of us. Some things should not be this hard.
As always, I love your writing. To begin, thank you for reminding me of the joy that my son gave me (I feel like I can almost reach back to his happy heart and laughter sometimes) and for putting into words how I feel about mass shootings of kids. As a retired teacher, when we heard reports of shootings my heart would break. Over the years my response changed; learn what could/would happen in order to protect my "kids" if it happened in my school to getting sad (weeping) then angry about the futility and wondering what the hell is going on in people's brains that makes them think there's no need for sane gun control.
Thank you Ally. Your writing feels like home.
Of all the things that enrage me and send me into a spiral of despair, this is at the very top. I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that we refuse to keep our children - and our teachers - safe at school. How sick do you have to be as a society to watch children being shot down at school week after week, month and month, year after year, *for decades* and really not do much of anything at all?? And then you have the very same people who want to deny women bodily autonomy because “abortion is murder” telling you not to even think about touching their guns. The fury I feel, Sharon. And people get upset for a few days and then it fades until the next time. I can’t take it. Our kids deserve so much better and so do we. Thank you for being here. Your words mean so much to me. Not sure how we’d all get through this without the people who feel like home, so believe me, the gratitude goes both ways 🙏🏼❤️🩹
"Your writing feels like home." This is such an insightful comment. That's exactly what Ally's writing feels like. Not the home I had, but the home I want.
Oh Wendy, this made me cry. Thank you so much.
Sandy Hook is what made us decide to stay abroad even though the plan was always supposed to be to go back to NYC. My kids were 8 and 4 at the time. My husband, not an American, just looked at me and said, I can't do it, I can't go back knowing this is reality, and I understood exactly what he meant. And I am grateful every single moment of every single day that we had to opportunity to make that choice.
I've referred to the US as Agamemnon before, particularly 2A froth-at-the-mouthers, sacrificing its children for favorable winds, or in this case, the right to own a weapon of war. Generation PTSD.
Our children deserve/d so much better.
It is a uniquely American trait to somehow “get used to” school shootings and mass shootings and I guess I am just not made of that stuff because it *destroys* me every time. I have no doubt I’ve lost years off my life from the stress of having school-age children in this mess. It was the one upside of COVID and having them home. The older I get the less I understand this country or wtf we’re doing. It is a genuine heartbreak and outrage and I am not ready to throw in the towel and give up because there are so many people here I care about but my god. The people still in support of this insanity, Dina. It does me in. And I am thinking about my “third act” and wondering what that might look like, but to leave my kids would need to want to leave, too. It’s all so sad.
You’re a fucking magician, Hamilton. You walk through the labyrinth of hell that is our current government and you squeeze every atrocity for its essence— its humanity. And if that weren’t enough, you then serve it to us here— full of heart and wisdom and a breathtaking tenderness.
Really really fucking grateful for your voice. Always, but right now especially.
Oh, Kate, you made me cry. Thank you for this. Not sure if you saw in my comments to Wendy, but I found out about the shooting and it threw me into a state the way it always does. I feel very sure I wouldn’t have been able to write anything at all for days, but then about a minute later as I was actively spiraling and ready to just call it for the day, I saw your memoir without words - with the sunflowers and Riggs - and it was enough to pull me back from the abyss. So, we’re working the magic together and I’m really fucking grateful for you, too. Always, but also especially now.
Wednesday proved without a shadow of a doubt that the Republican Party loves fetuses but hates babies. Celebrates that life begins at conception but have no problem if it ends with a bullet in grade school. The “Right to Life” crowd seems to covet the right to impose death on our children. If the bullets don’t get them the measles will.
It’s madness and I cannot listen to it nor take seriously arguments from people who care about a fetus - but not a living, breathing child. It’s not about the sanctity of life if you can look at this and offer nothing but words. Oh, the rage, Stephani. Thank you for being here, truly. It makes me feel less alone. I know there are millions and millions of us who feel this way, but it is good to connect and rage against this insanity together. It helps❤️🩹🙏🏼
That is their whole point: you (as a parent, teacher, community member, human on planet earth) don't have the right to give your input on how to raise the next generation. They feel you must EARN that right. And, funny enough, only people like them have earned it. They seem genuinely offended that other people exist without their input. And they are working ceaselessly to stop that offense by stripping away rights and a shared legal and community framework in favor of sweaty-minded lunatics like them banning books, killing children, punishing women and ruining our future.
We need to go back to the beginning and start again. We need to tell our children - and ourselves - a much better story. A story where good overcomes evil and wishes come true and good things still happen and people care about protecting children and each other - and rainbows appear right when you want them. If only there was a spell for that.
You're weaving the spell. All of us are. May it someday work.
I really hope so. And I am so grateful for your spell-casting, too, but you already know that.
I think a LOT of those 'Christians' will eventually devolve to "well you should keep your kids at home and do homeschooling because there's no other way to stop this. And if you don't homeschool, well then you're a bad and selfish mom who chose to let them get killed." (And yes - let's be clear - that message will be for moms only). Forced homeschooling is the gateway drug to everything they want to implement but can't yet: patriarchal control, indoctrination, racism, sexism, controlling women's fertility and movements, tying women to the home, making women economically dependent on a man and marriage, leaving the next generation less educated and easier to control, etc, etc, etc. They've tried a bunch of different ways to drag us into the past. If they can't implement their world vision any other way, they are happy to let a bunch of kids die so that they can. To them, it's worth it. They'll pray for your heathen children, but they don't care or respect you. They have no desire to live in a shared community with you or care about anything beyond their own desire to control everything and everyone around them.
Sadly I think you are correct. It’s the “trad wife” culture and there’s a huge push that is currently targeting young girls and women. That’s why the PragerU crap is so utterly despicable along with ⬆️ everything else you just mentioned. These are terrible people with terrible ideas and it is amazing and scary how many people are not seeing it.
Going to try to keep this concise but will most likely fail miserably.
Have always been skeptical on religion, started when my brother was not able to attend to Sunday school (he has developmental disabilities) as he might be "disruptive". I did not get how any God who made him just as he is would deem him unworthy of church class. Still don't get it.
However....
When I had my recent brain surgery, I had a good number of folks ask if they could pray for me. Absolutely. And when I had the procedure done, I really did feel protected by the forcefield of positive energy and such. God, Holy Spirit, good juju, whatever. I felt it.
However....
I recently watched another Katrina documentary (can't stop, won't stop) and there was a clip of Governor Blanco telling people to PRAY FOR THE HURRICANE TO CHANGE DIRECTION. Come on. Praying on top of being proactive and taking steps to prepare and not ignoring years old advice that the infrastructure wasn't going to hold, sure. Prayer does not change meteorology any more than wishing and hoping.
So those who are trying to get the devil to stop putting guns in peoples' hands are straight up delusional. We have to face the facts that politicians are ill prepared to deal with real tragedy or even real change (aka their JOB) despite the fact that it is now so frequent (climate change related disaster, mass shootings, etc) They just read from the "thoughts and prayers" playbook and keep going, many paid off by the fucking NRA to keep smiling.
Fuck these clowns. I want their kids to wake up afraid to go to school and afraid their houses might be swept away. I am currently thrilled to live in Chicago where at least Gov Pritzker isn't afraid to tell the Cheez Whiz emperor that troops aren't welcome here. DJT chickened out of making a speech in 2016 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Donald_Trump_Chicago_rally_protest) because he was fearful of the protesters. We ain't backing down.
I know you aren't backing down either, Ally. Thank you for reading my TED talk. Enjoy your weekend. ❤️
I love your TED talk, Eileen. I am with you. It made me think of the late, great John Lewis and how he used to refer to an old African proverb: “When you pray, move your feet” - which is, in my opinion, a better way of saying “prayer without works” is not enough. If you are praying you also have to be taking meaningful action. Bonus round: he also showed what a politician should be and could be.
I have a lot of feelings about the way religions (all of them) can be twisted in the wrong hands. I’ve seen it happen so many times. I have a close family member who is basically in a cult and it is heartbreaking.
I am in favor of any practice that gives a person comfort, makes them a better human being, and a better neighbor. But when someone’s religion teaches them bigotry and hatred I’m out. Or when people start sounding like they know what happens after this and how things work with absolute certainty - so much that they’re going to start telling other people how to live or love, I’m like, wow. Cool. Your god is the real god, huh? Your religion is the only religion? Your job is to save someone else’s soul from eternal damnation by being a horrific and hateful bastard to them? Interesting. Anyhoo.
Sending you a lot of love as ever. And hugs.
Amen to all this. ♥️
This is one of the better pieces I’ve read on this frustratingly pervasive problem:
https://www.readtangle.com/we-are-still-broken-2025-minnesota-shooting/
I agree, Robert, that’s the best thing I’ve read as far as legislative reform that might make a real difference without infringing on anyone’s rights. And I am savvy enough to understand there is no conversation in this country that is going to exist in a meaningful way outside of that context. Which is fine. The literal only thing I care about is that we stop seeing these school shooting, mass shootings, children dying because guns were not stored properly, gun violence death due to domestic violence, and on and on. Thanks for sharing🙏🏼
Unfortunately I don’t see legislative competency, let alone reform, taking place any time soon. I will continue to try to change myself and the few people I am privileged to be living life with. This is small but real change. Perhaps a generation of politicians will arise from the ashes of our political self-immolation and lead us toward peace and a more just society. FWIW, I believe this will inevitably happen; the arc of the Universe does bend towards justice, even when we are in a momentary season of regression. At least this is what I hope and choose to believe. Now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
I don’t see it now, either, but I refuse to believe we will continue to sit back and let this go on and on (all evidence since Columbine to the contrary). I think we need to get smarter about how we fight for change. The licensing ideas in the article you shared are great, for example. Maybe different kinds of lawsuits to effect that change. The Constitution was meant to be amended after all. I dunno, I’m exhausted at the moment but not defeated 🤘🏼
I understand the exhaustion, I really do. My solution, which I don’t prescribe or believe should be normative, but which nevertheless has enabled me to retain a certain degree of sanity and sangfroid, is to ingest very little news at all. In the long and very helpful article I’m linking here, the author breaks issues down into three categories and suggests:
“When you’re about to have an opinion, first ask yourself whether it’s on a primary, secondary, or tertiary issue. On tertiary issues, be silent. On secondary issues, be humble. On primary issues, be passionate.”
Here’s the link: https://open.substack.com/pub/gurwinder/p/why-you-are-probably-an-npc?r=16gla&utm_medium=ios
What I found leading up to the 2016 election was that my FB feed was a maelstrom of hate and ignorance and virtue-signaling over tertiary and secondary issues, with enough affirmation of my passions to keep me hooked. Everywhere. All the time. I could feel myself getting to be a worse person, losing my compassion for a lot of real people I actually knew.
So I got off FB permanently, and subsequently dropped IG as well. I rarely watch TV and don’t watch news shows either. I came to Substack as a bit of a refuge from it all, but I’m beginning to wonder.
Anyway, as I said, I don’t defend my retreat from the 24/7 news cycle bath of trauma as a solution for everyone. But it’s what I had to do. I still get plenty of news of the main issues of the day; it’s impossible to avoid. So I stay current, or at least as current as allows me to focus on the issues that I am passionate about and which I can engage with a measure of love and grace and purposeful action.
In spite of all I’ve said, thank you and others who thoughtfully and passionately are fighting against the spirit embodied by so many in power.
Good luck and peace of mind to you as you sort out the best path forward for yourself.
I don't care anymore to know the political affiliation, religion, gender identity, economic status, race, or rationale of any mass shooter. It is meaningless to the dead. It is irrelevant to the survivors. The common denominator is that they are willing to pick up an automatic weapon and murder strangers to address their petty, misinformed grievances.
There are so many things to fix-lack of control, unfettered hate speech and misinformation on social media, spirit-crushing political cruelty...
I feel a bit like Tinker Bell just now, needing some proof that enough of us believe we can come back from this. I hope so.
As aways, I appreciate your writing🧡
If we’re going to politicize anything (and it is political), let’s politicize the party responsible for blocking sane gun control legislation every chance they get. Period. We can fight like hell at school boards and at the state and federal level, we can go to protests and donate and believe me when I say I have and will continue to do all of that. But we need to pressure the fuck out of the people who keep throwing themselves in front of measures and bills that would make a difference. I have had it. Another school year and my nervous system is already taxed as I kiss my daughter goodbye in the morning. Smh. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much❤️🩹🙏🏼
I agree, those politicians need to be kept under constant pressure.
Hello Ally, I'm a bit behind with reading sorry! You probably won't like this, but Ibe spent quite some time debating morals and human condition with AI. I was trying not to fall into this AI thing but I thought same as I'm googling things and various articles come up, it's up to me to critically assess what I'm presented with. And what scared me was that for some reason, humans as whole don't seem to have one conscious dream of everyone being happy. I've even asked it about how come various religions seem to paint the picture of some afterlife where things get good and not really focusing on making Earth good? It almost feels as if whatever evolution was doing it centered it around survival and we somehow hacked the reward circuitry and fucked everything up.
I think you're right it's a disease, some weird warping of our perception. I und that people might have used term devil for things that they desired (I myself have desired many things that I knew were not good) and wondering why their brain is basically sabotaging their good life. Even right now I'm procrastinating and commenting here when I should be working! I can't say it's devil, but I know it's not my best part choosing this either. That's why I'm fascinated by neuroscience and how we actually operate.
Sorry for going off the track! Thank you for sharing your brilliant thoughts as always!
All the best to you and your family as always ❤️
If someone tells you that he is Napoleon are you required to agree with him? If you fail to endorse his delusions are you being Napoleonphobic? If he tells you that he needs a gun to defeat Wellington do you allow him to purchase one?
It is exactly the same situation if a man tells you that he is a woman. No one can change their biological sex. The mentally ill are entitled to freely live their lives with sympathy and care but not forced acceptance of their fantasies and never should they be allowed to possess deadly weapons. The recent Minneapolis murders of children are a result of ignoring this reality.
You are pathetically victimizing your false beliefs at the cost of others in the form of violence and oppression. Pure cowardice and lack of curiosity of anything that doesn’t make you feel secure and superior. You didn’t come here in good faith, you came to make yourself feel good. Just as likely to be a bot or a political shill.
If someone has Heisenberg as their profile picture are you required to think they’re a renegade genius or treat their arguments as meaningful?
There have been roughly 420 school shootings since Columbine and 0.1% of them have been at the hands of people who identified as transgender.
Maybe go back and read the essay again more slowly. Transgender people are not the problem - except in your mind.
Yes, I think the shooter in this case needed a lot of mental health support she did not receive, just like every school shooter from the beginning of this madness decades ago. To go into a school with a gun or guns and shoot down children means you are in the midst of a mental health crisis - which is why the laws need to change so that people having a mental health crisis can’t go buy guns. Along with access to mental health support, which this administration just gutted. I said all that, guess you missed it.
I think the whole country needs mental health support at this point, because living this way is not normal,
and you definitely need help if you want to make this issue about transgender people. Kids are dying in our country because of this madness every week, month after month, year after year, for decades now.
Do fucking better, Dave. Or do you prefer Walt?