At the Intersection
There’s a strange thing that happens when you’re watching something occur and it feels like too many people are not reacting the way they should. It makes you feel like you’re losing your mind, or you’ve entered some timeline where everything is out of sync.
When I was in the 6th grade, a friend of mine got hit by a car as he crossed the street on the way to school. A lot of us saw it, since we were all arriving at the same time. It was a terrible thing, some of us had just gotten off the public bus heading north on Central Park West, others were walking, but almost my entire class was convened somewhere across the four corners of 95th and Central Park West when it happened.
Stephen had been crossing the street, he didn’t have the light, but that didn’t matter in New York City. The car closest to him slowed down and waved him by, so he took off running and made it past the two northbound lanes of traffic. The car heading in the other direction did not see him. He was hit halfway across the street. He flew up in the air, arms, legs, backpack - skyward, far too high.
In my memory, I see it in slow motion. When he fell to the ground, it was like the world stopped spinning for an instant. Everyone stopped breathing. The constant hum of the city, ceased. Whatever was in the periphery disappeared, and there was just Stephen - one of us, could have been any of us - in the crosswalk.
Of course, the world did not stop spinning, but the car that hit Stephen stopped, a grownup called 911. I saw Stephen move a little where he lay, stunned, and that’s how I knew he was alive. That’s when I started breathing again, started moving again. I walked over to him, leaned down and asked if he was okay. Preposterous question, but I meant well. I meant to say, “I’m here, Stephen, we’re all here, an ambulance is coming, you’re going to be okay,” but I was twelve, so I said, “Are you okay?” His eyes looked strange, his pupils were huge, he just looked at me, blinking.
My friend Sam came over, then my friend Karen, crying. Then the ambulance arrived and we were all shuffled out of the crosswalk, and Jenny and Jessie were there and we were all crying. Those were the things that made sense, the way we huddled together, the way we tried to reassure ourselves and each other he would be okay, the way we explained it to friends arriving late.
Stephen was lifted onto a gurney and loaded into the ambulance, and those of us who had seen what happened answered some questions a police officer asked. I don’t remember any adults being there with us, though surely the principal or a teacher from school must have been out there by then. The world was far less litigious when I was a kid, so who knows. But that moment just after he was hit, the moment when he was airborne, the moment when he hit the ground, and the seconds after - however many seconds there were until he moved - felt surreal and outside the normal timeline.
I am feeling that way now, and maybe some of you are, too.
How else can you feel when an unelected billionaire is taking over your government, and a lot of people are talking about it, but no one is stopping him? When you hear Elon Musk and six young dudes 18-24 years old went into the U.S. Treasury with flash drives, and accessed everyone’s Social Security numbers, tax returns, sensitive financial information, etc … and then you see your senators going live from their couches about it over the weekend?
Or tweeting (“Blueskying”? Obviously I’m not on X) self-congratulatory posts Tuesday morning about how they didn’t vote to confirm RFK, Jr. and you’re like…uh, thanks? Not that it’s going to matter. But also, are you serious right now? Because obviously you didn’t, you were outside the Treasury trying to stop the totally illegal and unconstitutional coup…right? RIGHT? I mean, there’s no way it’s business as usual while a coup is underway, because that would be totally fucking nuts.
And then you read some of the coverage, and no mainstream media wants to use the word “coup” or highlight the fact that what is happening is unconstitutional and illegal, because…the MSM is owned by billionaires? Publications are afraid of retaliation from the president, or lawsuits? And Musk isn’t being stopped because the DOJ has been purged, and all the top dogs at the FBI have been fired, and Republicans have the majority in the House and Senate. That must be it. Totally normal, nothing to see here.
Even if civil servants inside the Treasury called the police on Friday when this began, the reality is no arm of the law seems able to arrest Musk right now, not by brute force, and not in a way that would stand. He’d just be pardoned by his equally soulless buddy and then those police officers would be thrown in jail for god knows what. Or so it seems. We have a president operating outside the law.
It could also be that this doesn't look like a coup because it’s happening behind closed doors with a guy who wants to colonize Mars, and a half dozen super young tech nerd kids and their flash drives - instead of in plain sight with troops and automatic weapons, or horses and swords. It isn’t bloody. (I do wonder what kind of insanity would ensue in a reverse scenario - imagine if Harris had won, and Bill Gates just stole everyone’s Socials. My god.)
This is not what we’ve read about in the history books or seen in the movies. We’re in a different kind of war because we’re in a different kind of world. A world where Musk can somehow grant a 25-year-old kid the privilege to write code on two of the most sensitive payment systems in the U.S. government.
I thought my head might implode this weekend listening to senators I like - Eric Swalwell dropping f-bombs - talking about how we are just two seats short in the House. And I really do like the guy, but oh my god, I could not understand why he was home, talking about House seats. I guess I thought if you did something illegal and unconstitutional then, I dunno…arresting you as you were doing it, while you were doing it in real time, in a building where people knew you were doing it…would not be this weird idea no one talked about, let alone figured out how to do. Maybe you’d have your assets seized. Maybe you’d be denaturalized due to treason and then deported. We’re outside the timeline of what is normal.
I’m a problem-solver, though. If there’s an emergency I want to take action, I don’t want to melt into a puddle of despair. I read the fabulous
, and also follow , , , (suddenly occurring to me there is a large Jess faction trying to save democracy, women’s rights, the soul of humanity), and the general “one-Heather/several-Jess consensus” seems to be calling our senators and representatives is the best way to save democracy right now. Expressing our outrage and dismay, and letting them know what our expectations are - specifically, what it is we are asking them to do, and also letting them know we will be watching. That’s short of going to visit them at their local offices, or attending a peaceful protest in person. There are, in fact, people protesting outside the Treasury as I write, finally, so maybe the shock is wearing off.The other suggestion is to reach out to any of our family members who may have voted for this administration, and be sure they know what is happening. Hang in there with me for a minute, I know this may be a tough pill to swallow. First, I found it nearly impossible to imagine anyone could have missed what was happening, but I was wrong about that. I have family members who are lifelong Republicans, and while they are no Trump fans, they did vote Republican down-ticket, and they do watch right-wing media. They had not heard one peep about Musk all weekend, because it wasn’t being covered there, at least not as the five-alarm fire it is.
I understand all too well how hard it is to deal with family members who voted against your safety and mine, and my daughter’s, and pretty much everyone I care about, and every issue I hold dear to my heart. And it is very possible that you may share this information with them, and they may still shrug and say who cares? Like the dude under my friend Jane’s post, when she shared the White House switchboard number so people could call and voice their objections.
This dude’s genius take: Government workers have had our Social Security numbers for years, what’s the big deal? Well, Tony, the big deal is those government workers were vetted. They went through background checks, they were fingerprinted, and they had to uphold cybersecurity protocols and laws put in place to protect us. Whereas these chodes with Musk? Who knows? Also, Elon Musk is not an elected official, the DOGE was not created by Congress, and everything happening right now is illegal and unconstitutional, so every American should be outraged.
I want to say, hey, remember how you laughed when I talked about Project 2025, how you said Trump wasn’t any part of it? Guess what? This is it! It’s happening right now! Guess you were wrong, weren’t you? Did you maybe want to address that? I want to say, look at this latest thing, he’s talking about sending U.S troops to Gaza if necessary, and turning it into the “Riviera of the Middle East”.
Human rights violations around the world are now increasing because Elon has decided he wants to get rid of USAID, the pretense being that he is “trimming the fat” - but our entire contribution to global aid amounts to less than 1% of our budget, so miss me with that. Children are going without food and water and people are going without lifesaving malaria and tuberculosis medications, because you just would not believe us when we said this was going to be so much worse for everyone.
Of course I want to say all these things, and more. All my friends are afraid. I’m afraid. Everyone I know is trying to figure out an exit plan “just in case.” How, for example, do you raise a daughter in a country that hates women and girls? That puts men in power who tweet garbage like this - please meet the president’s new state department appointee, Darren GoFuckYourself. You bet I’m pissed.
But what good does that do? People are suffering. It SUCKS that we were right. It sucks so badly. I did not want to be this right, and I know you didn’t, either. This isn’t a contest I’m happy to win, because there aren’t any winners, there are only people hurting, here, and everywhere else. Who gives a shit who was right, let’s just fix it to whatever extent we can, so that yes, it’s a travesty, and yes, we’re going to have to work our asses off to keep people safe, but it’s not the end of democracy. We need some Republican senators to find their integrity and patriotism if any exist, and stand up to this government takeover. We don’t need many. Even if we can’t find one Republican in the Senate, I feel positive we can find some Republican family members who did not want this.
Whatever they wanted - and we can be sorely heartbroken and angry about it - I can’t imagine all of them are okay having their personal information compromised, having a soulless billionaire who uses his own kids as pawns, decide if they get Medicaid benefits or not - wondering whether their information is being sold or leveraged. Some of them will be arrogant and rude till the bitter end, confident you’re a pansy, bleeding heart, woke liberal…so be it. Some people have to learn in the most painful way possible, and I’m sad to say it looks like they will.
It still feels worth it to me to reach out if you have it in you (and I am not talking about reaching out to people who you’ve cut ties with to protect your well-being and your tender heart, I’m talking about extended family who might be reasonable, and only if the emotional cost to you is manageable) to make sure they understand what’s happening. If they are upset, ask them to call their senators and representatives. Republican senators and representatives may not care about anything but their own job security and their own best interests, that might be true. If it is true, hearing from displeased constituents who make it clear they want Musk stopped may be enough to turn a few.
Indivisible is a great resource that spells out the issues at hand and the best way to take action. 5calls.org makes it easy to find your representatives and senators, you literally put in your zip code, and their phone numbers will pop up along with a script to read, if figuring out what to say makes you anxious. There are lawsuits being filed left and right. All hope is not lost, but this is an all hands on deck situation, no doubt.
Jess Craven was talking about her nonbinary child the other day, and she had tears streaming down her face. Her child is not feeling safe in this country, and they are here in California, where we are as liberal as it gets. Her child is the same age as my daughter. My heart broke for her, for her beautiful MJ, for all of our children. They’re watching us. Right now. They’re watching what is happening in this world, they’re watching who we are being.
Please, figure out who you’re going to be right now. Don’t bury your head in the sand, or think something magical is going to happen to make this better. No one is coming to save us. We save us. We save each other. We pick up the phone and make the calls, or we don’t. It’s worth it to us, or it isn’t. We sit by passively and watch people suffer as if there’s nothing we can do, or we fight like hell for something better. We huddle together at the intersection and try to make sense of things, or we leave each other in the crosswalk, stunned and hurt.
Friends, hang in there. I want to say everything is going to be okay, but the truth is I have no idea what’s going to happen. What I do know is that we have a choice, and the choice is we go all in for each other, or we don’t. I’m all in. If you want to meet me in real time to talk about feeling like nothing makes sense, but wanting to do everything you can to make things better, I’ll be coming to you here, a day early this week, and at a different time - Thursday 2/6/25 at 2pm PST. The podcast version will go out Saturday as usual. I’m heading to Croatia in June. Maybe it’s a good time to plan something beautiful if it’s in the cards. I feel like we could use some things to look forward to right now. And I’ll meet you in the comments, as ever. Love to all.
As a Canadian, there’s not as much that I can do. However, I’m standing in solidarity with every American who’s fearful, demoralized, and devastated. I'm providing emotional support to my own friends and family there. And I agree with what you said here, so I’m re-stacking.
Beautiful essay. You were able to express in words how I feel. I stand with you!