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David Snider's avatar

Reading this with so many things going through my head. That photo of your father when you are around four years old: he’s the apotheosis of the swinging Silent Generation guy, making up for “lost time,” or “lost youth.” Reminds me of my own father and all his best buds in the fast, loose, freewheeling 1970s.

Both my parents died in 2015. My son, now a robust five-year-old, was born in 2018. My desire to nurture and nourish him in a manner diametrically opposed to what my own parents did has somehow opened me up to trying to reconstruct the manner of their upbringing, how it warped them. I can really see it, for the first time. And the best thing is knowing that yes, I came into this world through them, but I don’t have to be anything like them.

I didn’t miss them much at first, after they croaked. Maybe just a little bit now. I want to say, thank you for the good things you gave me. And: look! It doesn’t have to be like that!!

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Laurie Erickson's avatar

The awe I have for your resilience can’t be adequately expressed at this time.

I wish I could be here tomorrow, in my family it was never my dad. Dad’s a fucking saint.

The irony that my mother’s severe dementia has been the only time that the relationship with her became honest and vulnerable, when I finally recognized the broken child inside of her.

Substack won’t allow me to complete what I’ve written. Probably and rightfully paid subscribers only..

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