One of my mother’s favorite expressions was “it’s all grist for the mill” which I really like. But sometimes I wish the mill needed a little less grist. Oh, well. Happy you’re here, Rita 🤍
It's a party that you're better off showing up late for than never at all. I wish for so many of us that we had felt like we belonged there sooner than we realized we do.
What gets me about people who are scorpions is the second-guessing and self-doubt that they sow in their victims. They make you doubt your intuition and perspective, which helps them convince you that you're the problem, not them. I feel like I have been down that road with a select few people too many times and have also finally reached the point where they are just a big nope for me. I learned that fairly recently with someone who I started to get major yuck vibes from, but I convinced myself I was being judgmental when I had actually picked up on something very real. I hate the way people can burn you when you decide to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I guess the fact that there was doubt at all probably says a lot. Trust your gut. It's them, not you.
Totally agree. As long as the trajectory is upward or even onward, it’s good. Some lessons you just learn the hard way. And some of this stuff is so deeply ingrained, it’s really no surprise it takes half a lifetime to overcome it. But yeah, I’ve given a lot of time and energy to scorpions, and you don’t get the time and energy back. You get to keep the scars, though, and I think that’s a good thing. They remind you of where you’ve been, and how strong you are. And I feel pretty certain neither of my kids would give a scorpion the time of day. If I’m right about that, then I have no regrets. Love your comments as always. Thank you for being here, Kate 🤍
Your understanding and insights into human nature and your ability to articulate them is what makes your pieces so compelling. And fun to read. One of my friends told me once when I was complaining about someone who’d drifted off that “you’re not the first person they think about when they get up in the morning.” It stung, but how true, just like the it’s not personal when that guy cuts you off in traffic. One of the inclinations I’ve observed is how often we think we’re going to change a scorpions behavior if we’re just a little bit nicer. It just never works. And you’re right on that if you ignore a scorpion they will circle back and wonder why you’re not contacting them… and then will leave a trail of just enough breadcrumbs to make you think maybe this time they’ve changed. They haven’t 🤣
Thank you so much for your kind comments here. I will say almost every (probably every) worthwhile lesson I’ve ever learned, I’ve learned the really hard way lol. Which makes it easier to consider from every possible angle, and easier to write about later, so at least there’s an upside. And oh yes, I’ve tried that, too. If only I’m a little _____ things will get better. No, no they will not 🤣🦂 Thanks for being here! 🤍
Hey Ally, I really liked this one, I always enjoy posts that offer me some kind of roadmap to who you are and why you are that way, as if it was to navigate me to the centre, almost like a pirate treasure map with big X. Same as I find fascinating how my daughter, Anneke, explains her feelings or tells her stories, which I always enjoy, I enjoy navigating through your reasoning and it's good to see for most part, we feel the same about things, fucking scorpions included.
I think the best thing about having a child is to engage in conversation with them and see that somehow they still believe in the good nature of humans. I think my daughter still adores me for being almost a superhero, when many adults, including myself would not see me that way. I also appreciate your kind nature and intelligence and what I perceive as incredibly great storytelling. I feel you. I also tend to learn hard why about scorpions, but at the same time, I'm cynical enough as it is, when it comes to trust, that I often willingly take the risk as eventually cynicism will kill my joy same as scorpions sting would. And I'd rather extinguish my joy by allowing myself to be stung one last time then to become too cynical.
It helps to see you and many others are still willing to believe in good in people.
Thank you as always. All the best to you and your family.
Glad you enjoyed this, Peter. And I agree, I’d rather keep my heart open and take the chance that I’ll get stung than harden myself and become distrustful. Having said that, you don’t win awards for being selfless at your own expense. There’s a happy medium there somewhere, and it’s something I’m still navigating. But I know when to pull up anchor and which way to point the ship now. Or something. Ahoy to you and Anneke, thanks for being here 🤍
Ohgoodgodyes. To all of this. Hard-won knowledge, for sure.
One of my mother’s favorite expressions was “it’s all grist for the mill” which I really like. But sometimes I wish the mill needed a little less grist. Oh, well. Happy you’re here, Rita 🤍
Sometimes I'm tired of being a mill. I think I'd rather be a seed pod.
It's a party that you're better off showing up late for than never at all. I wish for so many of us that we had felt like we belonged there sooner than we realized we do.
What gets me about people who are scorpions is the second-guessing and self-doubt that they sow in their victims. They make you doubt your intuition and perspective, which helps them convince you that you're the problem, not them. I feel like I have been down that road with a select few people too many times and have also finally reached the point where they are just a big nope for me. I learned that fairly recently with someone who I started to get major yuck vibes from, but I convinced myself I was being judgmental when I had actually picked up on something very real. I hate the way people can burn you when you decide to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I guess the fact that there was doubt at all probably says a lot. Trust your gut. It's them, not you.
Totally agree. As long as the trajectory is upward or even onward, it’s good. Some lessons you just learn the hard way. And some of this stuff is so deeply ingrained, it’s really no surprise it takes half a lifetime to overcome it. But yeah, I’ve given a lot of time and energy to scorpions, and you don’t get the time and energy back. You get to keep the scars, though, and I think that’s a good thing. They remind you of where you’ve been, and how strong you are. And I feel pretty certain neither of my kids would give a scorpion the time of day. If I’m right about that, then I have no regrets. Love your comments as always. Thank you for being here, Kate 🤍
Your understanding and insights into human nature and your ability to articulate them is what makes your pieces so compelling. And fun to read. One of my friends told me once when I was complaining about someone who’d drifted off that “you’re not the first person they think about when they get up in the morning.” It stung, but how true, just like the it’s not personal when that guy cuts you off in traffic. One of the inclinations I’ve observed is how often we think we’re going to change a scorpions behavior if we’re just a little bit nicer. It just never works. And you’re right on that if you ignore a scorpion they will circle back and wonder why you’re not contacting them… and then will leave a trail of just enough breadcrumbs to make you think maybe this time they’ve changed. They haven’t 🤣
Thank you so much for your kind comments here. I will say almost every (probably every) worthwhile lesson I’ve ever learned, I’ve learned the really hard way lol. Which makes it easier to consider from every possible angle, and easier to write about later, so at least there’s an upside. And oh yes, I’ve tried that, too. If only I’m a little _____ things will get better. No, no they will not 🤣🦂 Thanks for being here! 🤍
Oh Ally, once again, a truth bomb that packs a punch. Loved this piece!
Thanks so much, Barbara. Sounds like we have some things in common. Sending you lots of love, I’m so happy you’re here 🤍🐸
Same! ❤️
this one stung-- it hit so many cords for patterns since childhood and trusting in scorpions.
It’s one of the more painful lessons, I know. I’m sorry you relate, and I’m sending hugs and love. So glad you’re here 🤍
I swear, you're Me!!!
Brilliant piece 🤩
Thank you so much! Scorpion Whisperers unite lol.
Hey Ally, I really liked this one, I always enjoy posts that offer me some kind of roadmap to who you are and why you are that way, as if it was to navigate me to the centre, almost like a pirate treasure map with big X. Same as I find fascinating how my daughter, Anneke, explains her feelings or tells her stories, which I always enjoy, I enjoy navigating through your reasoning and it's good to see for most part, we feel the same about things, fucking scorpions included.
I think the best thing about having a child is to engage in conversation with them and see that somehow they still believe in the good nature of humans. I think my daughter still adores me for being almost a superhero, when many adults, including myself would not see me that way. I also appreciate your kind nature and intelligence and what I perceive as incredibly great storytelling. I feel you. I also tend to learn hard why about scorpions, but at the same time, I'm cynical enough as it is, when it comes to trust, that I often willingly take the risk as eventually cynicism will kill my joy same as scorpions sting would. And I'd rather extinguish my joy by allowing myself to be stung one last time then to become too cynical.
It helps to see you and many others are still willing to believe in good in people.
Thank you as always. All the best to you and your family.
Namaste 🙏
Glad you enjoyed this, Peter. And I agree, I’d rather keep my heart open and take the chance that I’ll get stung than harden myself and become distrustful. Having said that, you don’t win awards for being selfless at your own expense. There’s a happy medium there somewhere, and it’s something I’m still navigating. But I know when to pull up anchor and which way to point the ship now. Or something. Ahoy to you and Anneke, thanks for being here 🤍