Ok Ally you know you make me think of things. When I was in 2nd grade the teacher had to leave the classroom. She told us all to put our heads on our desks and be quiet while she was gone. Evidently when she came back I was the only one who had listened and all my classmates were making a ruckus. The reason I know about this is that the teacher called my Mom and told her she was doing something right. My Mom would repeat this story and I pretty much stayed a goody two shoes until in 9th grade when I got an attitude grade on my report card of C. I summoned up the courage to ask my teacher why and he said because I was too quiet and didn’t participate in class. Sooo I started being more out-going, raising my hand when I knew the answer and basically being more loud. I changed that grade to an A. Moral of the story you are going to get confused often in life. In my much later working years I got the moniker “By the Book Mary”. Well I was in charge of a thousand people’s paychecks so I was okay being someone people could trust. I never lie and living in a world gone mad surrounded by lies is almost more than I can take most days.
I love this, Mary. It's so funny how people make their snap decisions about who someone is based on the most superficial information. And it's sad when teachers do it to their students, especially when their students are young. Sometimes you get stuck with a label that doesn't fit, and other times you believe a label someone gives you for far too long. I have finally gotten to the place where I mostly don't worry about what other people think, as long as I can look myself in the eye when I'm brushing my teeth at the end of the day, and as long as my kids are proud of me. Life is so short and it feels shitty to be misunderstood but oh well, lol. I say that, but I also keep my word and show up for the people in my life and am a pretty tenderhearted person, so if someone is going to misunderstand me, I can't really worry about it. I'm too tired. Hugs and love. To me you are Awesome Mary.
Besides the pain of learning to really look in the mirror and evaluate myself, the greatest shock in my life was when the religious community that had formed me turned a blind eye to the glaring lifestyle of evil that characterized Trump—a lifestyle completely antithetical to our purported values—and supported him en masse. The same people who had excoriated Clinton for his sins, famous pastors who intoned about the decay of civilization when led by evil men, they revealed that their values were rooted in power and not in love, and a galaxy away from the founder of our faith who championed the marginalized and condemned the powerful.
You have a voice, Ally, cultivated by hard experiences, that is so valuable. Thank you for taking the time to craft your essays. Every bit of truth and pushback any of us can proclaim or do during these dark days, all of it matters. I have no idea how evolution really works, but I choose to believe that everything I do, whether supporting causes financially or talking to my grandsons about why respecting women and the marginalized fulfills the law of love, all of this in some way is healing our collective DNA, positioning our species to move towards a world characterized by love and justice and peace. And whether it matters in large or small ways (as we reckon these things), it is all I can do. As Gandalf says to Frodo: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Amen.
That is a religion I can get behind :) I also think every small and large thing matters, and everything in between. When someone lets me merge on the freeway, I kid you not, it restores my faith in humanity. If they wave after, my day is made. The reverse is also true, when people don't let me in, I feel so deflated — like, really? That's who you want to be? Don't you realize you'll need to merge at some point soon? A mini-version of "do unto others." Hugs, Robert <3
Your traffic illustration is so hilariously on point. The instinctive irrationality of our responses while driving has been one of the greatest teachers of my life; I kid you not. Many years ago, when I was still on IG, I posted about a life-changing traffic event. Here’s the link if you have time: https://www.instagram.com/p/CVsXPPZLXvT/?igsh=aDJhd3d3dzh3Nzdm
In any event, my faith in humanity is continually renewed. There is far more beauty than hideousness, there is far more kindness than cruelty, there is far more love than indifference…I see it every day, everywhere. Truly awful behavior in society—apart from the government sponsored inhumanity—is rare, which is why it stands out and makes News.
I am not minimizing the horrors you and all of us see and share, I’m just saying that we must not let ourselves sink below unconditional love. I see this love in you, in so many people who long for a better world. Thank you for writing about these horrors while doing all you can to remind yourself and us of our humanity. We shall overcome. Peace.
Read it and loved it. Are you still driving the speed limit? And I agree with you, Robert, I think there are many more loving people than there are soulless ones. We shall overcome <3
I am still driving the speed limit! In general I drive 5 mph over the limit and will go up to 10 mph over when passing or avoiding danger, but I am no longer going 10 mph over and rushing to get to my destination. That’s been the biggest shift since that day: I’m just not in a rush anymore; my car is a place where I practice peace, enjoy the ride, am present. My quality of life has dramatically changed for the better as a result.
You live in the LA area, right? It’s such a beautiful area, yet I am reminded when I’m there on business why I would never live there. People who complain about traffic wherever they are from rarely live in an area that compares with the congestion of SoCal. My business takes me around the country and I have a pretty good basis for comparison; LA is uniquely challenging. If you can maintain Zen-like composure while driving in LA…you’ve done a lot of internal healing work.
Your recollections are so clear. Mine are fuzzy around grade school. Other than Miss Tomiska playing Blowin' in the Wind on her guitar (3rd grade), my school life began (in my memory) in 6th. I love how little you was so enthusiastic. I know you wanted approval. We all do. And I actually think the teachers who found fault were damaged themselves. Jealous, maybe. Or frightened of a mirror that revealed too much about them. But your light is and was undeniable.
Aw Wendy, thank you. It's funny, I was working with a trauma therapist once, and she said it tends to go one of two ways — either people have almost no memory before a certain age, or they have vivid memories. I also have a photographic memory even though "they" say that is not a thing these days, but if it isn't, I don't know how to explain the way my brain works. And there are a lot of things I wish I did not see so clearly. I agree about teachers. I had some extraordinary ones, a few who saved my life, some who seemed like they didn't love their job, at least one, probably 3 I should have gotten fired. And Mrs. B. It's the ones who saved my life I think of the most often :) Love you <3
Well, “real” or not—it is what it is for you. Just your brilliance shining through. Just one (of many) reasons why you’re such a great writer. My memory was excellent—not even close to “photographic” but has slipped in recent years. I don’t like not fully trusting it. : ( Love you, too. Bunches.
Ally this evokes so many memories. I was that kid. My home life wasn't that chaotic, but it was chaotic. I had grownup worries on my mind, and it seemed to make me A Problem for some teachers (and some kids too, honestly). I really, REALLY resonated with this, and like you: my kid experience makes me want to protect ALL the kids. The number of kids that have adult worries should be ZERO... instead, it's millions.
Oh Matt, I'm sorry this resonated so much, because I understand what that means. I always felt a little separated from the experience of my peers — not so much that I was on the outside looking in, more that I was stuck on the inside of all the painful and confusing things I was dealing with at home — things I knew I was not supposed to share — looking out at my friends and wishing I could join in what seemed a more carefree and lighthearted existence. All children deserve to feel safe, cherished, seen, loved, and like they have people who will always be there for them. It kills me that not all children get that. Sending you a lot of love, friend. Thank you for being here <3
Excellent read and insight. We are damaging our children for life. This has to stop. I never thought my country could be so callous. Vote them all out. Imprison the perpetrators and enablers! Save the children, ALL of them!! ❤️
I am so with you, Janet, I never thought I'd live to see anything like this, or imagined we would move backwards, or see the destruction of our checks and balances. It is all heartbreaking, devastating and enraging, but they will not win. The part that is the most agonizing for me is wondering how many people — children amongst them — are going to suffer before we can get these people removed. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you <3
Thank you. Yes, it’s happening every day. I just don’t understand how so many so-called leaders can turn away. You know they have children. How can they have no empathy?
It’s truly shocking what our country has come to be known for these days. When I immigrated here 43 years ago as a child, America was a haven to so many of us and a welcoming home. I have to say though, as much as I’m shocked, I’m not surprised given the man that is in office “leading” the country. This is a man who was involved in the biggest sex and child trafficking scandal of all time for decades. He’s a known pedophile and rapist. Not to mention sexist racist narcissist and fascist.
I've never been more horrified nor heartbroken about the state of our country. We should be making better mistakes, this is genuinely embarrassing. I am heartsick and sick to my stomach that so many millions of people voted for this repugnant man and his smarmy sidekick. These two could not find a single ethic with four hands and a flashlight. I am devastated for all the children who are being harmed and who have been harmed by these awful people, though I am wholly unsurprised. We must put an end to this nightmare. Sending you a lot of love, Mina. Keep the faith as best you can, and when you can't, message me. Xo
"I thought it must be so nice to have a mom who knew how to calm you down." You say so much in that one sentence. Oof. Beautifully, bravely written throughout. Thank you.
This amazing piece made me realize that I know where you went to elementary school, because I went there too. A beautiful piece of writing that encapsulates what it is like to be young and defenceless in the face of unfair punishment, and the power teachers have over us, both for good and otherwise. I even think I know what teachers you were referring to--they tended to stay for many years. I revered Mr Spence and remember the parables he would tell us in 'chapel' every day, but similarly I was also terrified about getting into trouble and being yelled at, even though I always tried to obey the rules. Did you know that the school recently closed, after being in continuous operation for hundreds of years? I would love to talk to you about this! Is there another email I could use to reach you?
LAURA!! What?!? I have never run into anyone except the 20 people I went from 1st-6th grades with “out in the wild.” I did know it closed, it broke my heart. I went to the closing “party” with a bunch of my classmates, but we had staged our own reunion the year before, and I’m so glad we did. It was a much more joyous occasion. I would love to talk to you! Ally@yogisanonymous.com ♥️ (we can go from there to the phone 🤣)xo
"I didn’t really understand the games my friends liked to play, but I would always try to join in. My head was filled with grown-up worries"...This one though was POIGNANT "And what did she mean, I was 'getting the children into too much trouble'? Wasn’t I one of the children? Could she tell I was different, that my head was full of grown-up things?" WOW. You put to words what years and years of being a parentified child who got into so much "trouble" at school was like...I had many teachers bully me. Many who thought I was "too uppity" and needed to season it right out of me. I always wondered if they saw me like a peer, they must have. I guess I was but only in the way a ghost can be. Thank you for this piece, it truly spoke to a deep aching corner that I have rarely felt seen in and this made it feel seen. Shame can't grow there when it feels seen. thank you for that gift!
Oh my gosh, this made me cry instantly, Rose. I am so grateful this made you feel seen. It’s a lonely road for a kid and a confusing one, and I know for myself there’s been some mourning.
You only get the one childhood and the one chance to be innocent, and if someone or many someones take that away from you, it’s very hard to get it back. I am more inclined to experience childlike wonder now than I ever was as a kid, though.
I am fiercely protective of my own kids, but I am fiercely protective of all kids. We all deserved to have someone on our side, someone rooting for us. Anyway I am sending you a ton of love. Thank you for being here ❤️🩹❤️🩹
Great lead in. I think it points to the increasing number of broken families even those that are complete and broken morally. Many of world's problem today is just that. It will get worst because there is a lack of community charism.
Yeah, I have possibly unorthodox views about the broken family thing, though I appreciate very much what you're saying about "complete" families with broken morals. I think what children need to feel is that they are cherished, and that they are safe. That they are truly valued for who they are in particular. I think as long as a child has one solid parent who is there and consistent and backing them up all the way, they're going to be okay. I think in cases of divorce, the more parents can work together to make the schedule as manageable as possible for the kids, the better. I can say it wasn't easy for me to do the 3 days in one place, 4 days in the other, then 4 days in one place, 3 days in the other. Maybe another kid would have managed it better, for me it was too much. My parents also had an acrimonious divorce, and the tension was palpable. Each household was full of secrets I was supposed to keep. So, I agree that what happens in the home is more important than what happens anywhere else, I just don't think it's as much about the configuration as it is about the love and stability. Thanks so much for being here, I appreciate this kind of dialogue!
nothing unorthodox about you. you are truth if you care to be. the one who see, hear and experience this world in which we live the way you do is you. keep spreading that passion as best you can.
I agree with what you are saying but there has to be a jump off point to common decent humanity and morals. There are no laws or rules. It’s a grace offering. Knowledge of God is knowledge of self. God the creator of all who exist 100% in each of all. Never separating or spilling over.
I saw on your Note that you pulled an all nighter with this one. I keep trying to get things down early enough that I can have a "normal" bedtime the night before publishing. Success is sporadic, at best. I appreciate the hours you pour into your writing, Ally, and how much heart goes into your living. Sweet second grade you!
I was always getting called out because my voice projected above others. A whole room of kids might be acting up, but I'd be the one singled out. Hurt my soul.
I keep trying to write to the moment, lift people into some kind of action. Even if it doesn't have a direct line to freeing a family from detention, at least it promotes care. You're doing that, too, Ally, drawing hearts, and I have to believe the world is responding in good ways.
Yes I always try to start the essays Monday or Tuesday and work on them for a few days so that kind of thing doesn’t happen, but once in a while my week doesn’t cooperate. I cannot bring myself to publish anything that I don’t feel satisfied with, ever, so I was just in a little bit of agony with this one, but it’s part of the gig sometimes. And I’m okay with that, I love it so much.
And yes, I know for myself the only thing that gives me relief is taking some kind of action, even if it’s a small thing. I try to do something every day, usually more than one something. It keeps me sane and I have to hope it helps. I think there are so many of us doing that and it gives me hope 🙏🏼
And love to our little kid selves. We made it ❤️🩹
Ok Ally you know you make me think of things. When I was in 2nd grade the teacher had to leave the classroom. She told us all to put our heads on our desks and be quiet while she was gone. Evidently when she came back I was the only one who had listened and all my classmates were making a ruckus. The reason I know about this is that the teacher called my Mom and told her she was doing something right. My Mom would repeat this story and I pretty much stayed a goody two shoes until in 9th grade when I got an attitude grade on my report card of C. I summoned up the courage to ask my teacher why and he said because I was too quiet and didn’t participate in class. Sooo I started being more out-going, raising my hand when I knew the answer and basically being more loud. I changed that grade to an A. Moral of the story you are going to get confused often in life. In my much later working years I got the moniker “By the Book Mary”. Well I was in charge of a thousand people’s paychecks so I was okay being someone people could trust. I never lie and living in a world gone mad surrounded by lies is almost more than I can take most days.
I love this, Mary. It's so funny how people make their snap decisions about who someone is based on the most superficial information. And it's sad when teachers do it to their students, especially when their students are young. Sometimes you get stuck with a label that doesn't fit, and other times you believe a label someone gives you for far too long. I have finally gotten to the place where I mostly don't worry about what other people think, as long as I can look myself in the eye when I'm brushing my teeth at the end of the day, and as long as my kids are proud of me. Life is so short and it feels shitty to be misunderstood but oh well, lol. I say that, but I also keep my word and show up for the people in my life and am a pretty tenderhearted person, so if someone is going to misunderstand me, I can't really worry about it. I'm too tired. Hugs and love. To me you are Awesome Mary.
I hate it that even now people are categorized. We know who we are and that is what matters. Hugs and thanks for being you! ❤️
Same!
Besides the pain of learning to really look in the mirror and evaluate myself, the greatest shock in my life was when the religious community that had formed me turned a blind eye to the glaring lifestyle of evil that characterized Trump—a lifestyle completely antithetical to our purported values—and supported him en masse. The same people who had excoriated Clinton for his sins, famous pastors who intoned about the decay of civilization when led by evil men, they revealed that their values were rooted in power and not in love, and a galaxy away from the founder of our faith who championed the marginalized and condemned the powerful.
You have a voice, Ally, cultivated by hard experiences, that is so valuable. Thank you for taking the time to craft your essays. Every bit of truth and pushback any of us can proclaim or do during these dark days, all of it matters. I have no idea how evolution really works, but I choose to believe that everything I do, whether supporting causes financially or talking to my grandsons about why respecting women and the marginalized fulfills the law of love, all of this in some way is healing our collective DNA, positioning our species to move towards a world characterized by love and justice and peace. And whether it matters in large or small ways (as we reckon these things), it is all I can do. As Gandalf says to Frodo: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Amen.
That is a religion I can get behind :) I also think every small and large thing matters, and everything in between. When someone lets me merge on the freeway, I kid you not, it restores my faith in humanity. If they wave after, my day is made. The reverse is also true, when people don't let me in, I feel so deflated — like, really? That's who you want to be? Don't you realize you'll need to merge at some point soon? A mini-version of "do unto others." Hugs, Robert <3
Your traffic illustration is so hilariously on point. The instinctive irrationality of our responses while driving has been one of the greatest teachers of my life; I kid you not. Many years ago, when I was still on IG, I posted about a life-changing traffic event. Here’s the link if you have time: https://www.instagram.com/p/CVsXPPZLXvT/?igsh=aDJhd3d3dzh3Nzdm
In any event, my faith in humanity is continually renewed. There is far more beauty than hideousness, there is far more kindness than cruelty, there is far more love than indifference…I see it every day, everywhere. Truly awful behavior in society—apart from the government sponsored inhumanity—is rare, which is why it stands out and makes News.
I am not minimizing the horrors you and all of us see and share, I’m just saying that we must not let ourselves sink below unconditional love. I see this love in you, in so many people who long for a better world. Thank you for writing about these horrors while doing all you can to remind yourself and us of our humanity. We shall overcome. Peace.
Read it and loved it. Are you still driving the speed limit? And I agree with you, Robert, I think there are many more loving people than there are soulless ones. We shall overcome <3
I am still driving the speed limit! In general I drive 5 mph over the limit and will go up to 10 mph over when passing or avoiding danger, but I am no longer going 10 mph over and rushing to get to my destination. That’s been the biggest shift since that day: I’m just not in a rush anymore; my car is a place where I practice peace, enjoy the ride, am present. My quality of life has dramatically changed for the better as a result.
You live in the LA area, right? It’s such a beautiful area, yet I am reminded when I’m there on business why I would never live there. People who complain about traffic wherever they are from rarely live in an area that compares with the congestion of SoCal. My business takes me around the country and I have a pretty good basis for comparison; LA is uniquely challenging. If you can maintain Zen-like composure while driving in LA…you’ve done a lot of internal healing work.
Your recollections are so clear. Mine are fuzzy around grade school. Other than Miss Tomiska playing Blowin' in the Wind on her guitar (3rd grade), my school life began (in my memory) in 6th. I love how little you was so enthusiastic. I know you wanted approval. We all do. And I actually think the teachers who found fault were damaged themselves. Jealous, maybe. Or frightened of a mirror that revealed too much about them. But your light is and was undeniable.
Aw Wendy, thank you. It's funny, I was working with a trauma therapist once, and she said it tends to go one of two ways — either people have almost no memory before a certain age, or they have vivid memories. I also have a photographic memory even though "they" say that is not a thing these days, but if it isn't, I don't know how to explain the way my brain works. And there are a lot of things I wish I did not see so clearly. I agree about teachers. I had some extraordinary ones, a few who saved my life, some who seemed like they didn't love their job, at least one, probably 3 I should have gotten fired. And Mrs. B. It's the ones who saved my life I think of the most often :) Love you <3
Well, “real” or not—it is what it is for you. Just your brilliance shining through. Just one (of many) reasons why you’re such a great writer. My memory was excellent—not even close to “photographic” but has slipped in recent years. I don’t like not fully trusting it. : ( Love you, too. Bunches.
Thank you, Wendy. You’re the best. I appreciate you so much.
Please forgive me but you two are dear hearts!!
Ally, great storytelling. Good for Mrs. D. xo
Thank you so much, Prajna, and yes, she was a real keeper <3 xo
Ally this evokes so many memories. I was that kid. My home life wasn't that chaotic, but it was chaotic. I had grownup worries on my mind, and it seemed to make me A Problem for some teachers (and some kids too, honestly). I really, REALLY resonated with this, and like you: my kid experience makes me want to protect ALL the kids. The number of kids that have adult worries should be ZERO... instead, it's millions.
Thank you for this great piece.
Oh Matt, I'm sorry this resonated so much, because I understand what that means. I always felt a little separated from the experience of my peers — not so much that I was on the outside looking in, more that I was stuck on the inside of all the painful and confusing things I was dealing with at home — things I knew I was not supposed to share — looking out at my friends and wishing I could join in what seemed a more carefree and lighthearted existence. All children deserve to feel safe, cherished, seen, loved, and like they have people who will always be there for them. It kills me that not all children get that. Sending you a lot of love, friend. Thank you for being here <3
Excellent read and insight. We are damaging our children for life. This has to stop. I never thought my country could be so callous. Vote them all out. Imprison the perpetrators and enablers! Save the children, ALL of them!! ❤️
I am so with you, Janet, I never thought I'd live to see anything like this, or imagined we would move backwards, or see the destruction of our checks and balances. It is all heartbreaking, devastating and enraging, but they will not win. The part that is the most agonizing for me is wondering how many people — children amongst them — are going to suffer before we can get these people removed. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you <3
Thank you. Yes, it’s happening every day. I just don’t understand how so many so-called leaders can turn away. You know they have children. How can they have no empathy?
It’s truly shocking what our country has come to be known for these days. When I immigrated here 43 years ago as a child, America was a haven to so many of us and a welcoming home. I have to say though, as much as I’m shocked, I’m not surprised given the man that is in office “leading” the country. This is a man who was involved in the biggest sex and child trafficking scandal of all time for decades. He’s a known pedophile and rapist. Not to mention sexist racist narcissist and fascist.
ps- you were adorable as a 6 year old 💖
I've never been more horrified nor heartbroken about the state of our country. We should be making better mistakes, this is genuinely embarrassing. I am heartsick and sick to my stomach that so many millions of people voted for this repugnant man and his smarmy sidekick. These two could not find a single ethic with four hands and a flashlight. I am devastated for all the children who are being harmed and who have been harmed by these awful people, though I am wholly unsurprised. We must put an end to this nightmare. Sending you a lot of love, Mina. Keep the faith as best you can, and when you can't, message me. Xo
"I thought it must be so nice to have a mom who knew how to calm you down." You say so much in that one sentence. Oof. Beautifully, bravely written throughout. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Thomas, much appreciated, and I’m glad you’re here ❤️🩹
What an emotionally distressing experience. Beautiful writing and transition to your stance today. Thank you.
Thanks so much, Ann, and thank you for being here ♥️
This amazing piece made me realize that I know where you went to elementary school, because I went there too. A beautiful piece of writing that encapsulates what it is like to be young and defenceless in the face of unfair punishment, and the power teachers have over us, both for good and otherwise. I even think I know what teachers you were referring to--they tended to stay for many years. I revered Mr Spence and remember the parables he would tell us in 'chapel' every day, but similarly I was also terrified about getting into trouble and being yelled at, even though I always tried to obey the rules. Did you know that the school recently closed, after being in continuous operation for hundreds of years? I would love to talk to you about this! Is there another email I could use to reach you?
LAURA!! What?!? I have never run into anyone except the 20 people I went from 1st-6th grades with “out in the wild.” I did know it closed, it broke my heart. I went to the closing “party” with a bunch of my classmates, but we had staged our own reunion the year before, and I’m so glad we did. It was a much more joyous occasion. I would love to talk to you! Ally@yogisanonymous.com ♥️ (we can go from there to the phone 🤣)xo
"I didn’t really understand the games my friends liked to play, but I would always try to join in. My head was filled with grown-up worries"...This one though was POIGNANT "And what did she mean, I was 'getting the children into too much trouble'? Wasn’t I one of the children? Could she tell I was different, that my head was full of grown-up things?" WOW. You put to words what years and years of being a parentified child who got into so much "trouble" at school was like...I had many teachers bully me. Many who thought I was "too uppity" and needed to season it right out of me. I always wondered if they saw me like a peer, they must have. I guess I was but only in the way a ghost can be. Thank you for this piece, it truly spoke to a deep aching corner that I have rarely felt seen in and this made it feel seen. Shame can't grow there when it feels seen. thank you for that gift!
Oh my gosh, this made me cry instantly, Rose. I am so grateful this made you feel seen. It’s a lonely road for a kid and a confusing one, and I know for myself there’s been some mourning.
You only get the one childhood and the one chance to be innocent, and if someone or many someones take that away from you, it’s very hard to get it back. I am more inclined to experience childlike wonder now than I ever was as a kid, though.
I am fiercely protective of my own kids, but I am fiercely protective of all kids. We all deserved to have someone on our side, someone rooting for us. Anyway I am sending you a ton of love. Thank you for being here ❤️🩹❤️🩹
This is so great. And I just want to pick up your 6-year-old self and hug you.
Thank you so much, Michelle, and my six-year-old self would definitely take that hug, and hug you back xox
Great lead in. I think it points to the increasing number of broken families even those that are complete and broken morally. Many of world's problem today is just that. It will get worst because there is a lack of community charism.
Yeah, I have possibly unorthodox views about the broken family thing, though I appreciate very much what you're saying about "complete" families with broken morals. I think what children need to feel is that they are cherished, and that they are safe. That they are truly valued for who they are in particular. I think as long as a child has one solid parent who is there and consistent and backing them up all the way, they're going to be okay. I think in cases of divorce, the more parents can work together to make the schedule as manageable as possible for the kids, the better. I can say it wasn't easy for me to do the 3 days in one place, 4 days in the other, then 4 days in one place, 3 days in the other. Maybe another kid would have managed it better, for me it was too much. My parents also had an acrimonious divorce, and the tension was palpable. Each household was full of secrets I was supposed to keep. So, I agree that what happens in the home is more important than what happens anywhere else, I just don't think it's as much about the configuration as it is about the love and stability. Thanks so much for being here, I appreciate this kind of dialogue!
nothing unorthodox about you. you are truth if you care to be. the one who see, hear and experience this world in which we live the way you do is you. keep spreading that passion as best you can.
I agree with what you are saying but there has to be a jump off point to common decent humanity and morals. There are no laws or rules. It’s a grace offering. Knowledge of God is knowledge of self. God the creator of all who exist 100% in each of all. Never separating or spilling over.
I love the story
Thanks, Danny❤️🩹
I saw on your Note that you pulled an all nighter with this one. I keep trying to get things down early enough that I can have a "normal" bedtime the night before publishing. Success is sporadic, at best. I appreciate the hours you pour into your writing, Ally, and how much heart goes into your living. Sweet second grade you!
I was always getting called out because my voice projected above others. A whole room of kids might be acting up, but I'd be the one singled out. Hurt my soul.
I keep trying to write to the moment, lift people into some kind of action. Even if it doesn't have a direct line to freeing a family from detention, at least it promotes care. You're doing that, too, Ally, drawing hearts, and I have to believe the world is responding in good ways.
Yes I always try to start the essays Monday or Tuesday and work on them for a few days so that kind of thing doesn’t happen, but once in a while my week doesn’t cooperate. I cannot bring myself to publish anything that I don’t feel satisfied with, ever, so I was just in a little bit of agony with this one, but it’s part of the gig sometimes. And I’m okay with that, I love it so much.
And yes, I know for myself the only thing that gives me relief is taking some kind of action, even if it’s a small thing. I try to do something every day, usually more than one something. It keeps me sane and I have to hope it helps. I think there are so many of us doing that and it gives me hope 🙏🏼
And love to our little kid selves. We made it ❤️🩹
So much to grieve. For you, me, everyone. ❤️🩹 Thanks for leaning into it, fiercely so.
I choose care too.
There really is, Cabot. And I know you do, and I appreciate you so much. You’re a keeper ❤️🩹❤️🩹