95 Comments

My heart is with you. I wish you safety, health, peace and ease. I lived in S. California for eight years and before that grew up in N. California. Then we moved to Colorado and continued to fear wildfires. On 12/30/2021 we lived in Louisville, CO and fled with our dog and the clothes on our back as a fire swept through Superior and Louisville and in just a few hours destroyed 1,000 homes.

I think the thing that peope who haven't lived in a fire zone (or an area of the country that experiences constant environmental threats) is the all encompassing constancy of the anxiety about having breatheable air, having enough water for your survival needs and to fight fires, the inability to obtain home/ rental/ car insurance and the needs to be always vigiliant and ready to flee- and where do you go when millions of other people are also fleeing? I understand a lot of your trauma.

Ally I understand and I'm sending you love.

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Thank you so much, Deb. I think I am writing through some shock. I can feel that ptsd part of my brain lit up, and not really much of the rest of it. I did sleep for 3 or 4 hours and that helped. The car is packed with more stuff and I have a plan I’ve gone over in my head and keep going over, so I know what I’ll do if it comes to it. But every so often I just break down because I have so much heartache for so many friends and this whole community and really all of us. We’re all so vulnerable and we walk around like we aren’t. I appreciate you. I’m so glad you got out with your dog and each other. Thank you for sharing that with me. And thank you for being here, so much ❤️

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I don’t even know what to say. It’s all so much. So very much. Just please be safe and know that you are loved and held.

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Thank you so much, Katrina. I managed to sleep for a few hours. The evacuation line hasn’t moved. I packed more things into the car and I think I have a plan that makes sense if I need one. It makes sense to my ptsd brain, anyway. I’m just heartsick for so many friends and this entire community, and also in some shock I think. All of your words here help ❤️

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I am so sorry, Ally. Your words make it real in a way that images alone do not. I know you are probably writing because you have to for yourself, but your work here is service, too. Thank you.

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Thank you so much for saying that, Rita. I feel in a strange headspace, not one I’d normally write from, so I’m relieved to read your words. And I’m sending you a lot of love from whatever sleep-deprived, shock-induced, trauma-informed plane I’m on right now. My postcard from the edge I guess 🤍

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Love back to you. 🖤

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I am so sorry you are dealing with this horrendous tragedy, and I made the 9/11 comparison today in my mind too. I am sending you all of my love and solidarity. No one should have to go through something like this ever.

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I feel so heartbroken for people whose houses and neighborhoods are gone. It's all so hard to fathom right now. I'm sitting here in the dark, in the den, and my eyes are burning from the smoke in the air :-/ which also feels like 9/11. I don't know how to sleep, even though I know I really need to sleep, and even though I know the alerts on my phone will wake me if I do, and even though the car is packed, etc, etc. I'm sure I'll pass out eventually. Anyway, thank you for the love, Kari. This too shall pass.

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two of my friends had to evacuate. They have no idea if they still have a home. It's unreal. I am glad they are safe but I am also so heartsick. Please take extra good care and be safe. Smoke is nasty business by itself - we got a big taste of wildfire smoke here in the city a couple of summers ago and it made a bunch of us feel sick.

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I can’t even tell you how sad and unfathomable my friend’s video is. His house was in the palisades, and the palisades is just gone. I have another friend who lived a couple blocks away in the same situation, and they both booked hotels in Santa Monica, and one of them had to move to another hotel today because it was in the moving line of evacuation. I don’t even know what rebuilding is going to look like, or when that can start to happen. It’s just all embers. And yeah, I need to get the air filters running 😔

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Oh my gosh… it’s all just incomprehensible. Holding you, your loved ones, and all of LA in my heart. Stay safe! 🙏🏼

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Thanks so much, Barbara, I appreciate it ❤️

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Sending love and hope that winds die down and you can stay safely at home. I can’t stop thinking of this horrific nightmare.

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It’s one of those things that you look at directly and still cannot comprehend. It’s just so sad and so fast and so much loss. Thank you for your kindness. I hope things are better tomorrow 🙏🏼

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Sending love and wishing you safety.

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Thank you so much, Margaret, sending you love, too.

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I live where Hurricane Milton made landfall. I rode that out. I can’t *imagine* how many times more terrifying it would be with flame instead of flood.

I’m so sorry.

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(To clarify, I am about a mile inland from Sarasota Bay; I do not live on the barrier island where landfall was declared.)

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My heart really goes out to you. Honestly, when you're dealing with these extreme weather events, or any event where it is driven home to you that you really do not have control over your own physical safety, the safety of your loved ones, your friends, your pets, your home, your neighbors, your community, etc, etc, I am not really sure one is any more terrifying than another. Sending you so much love, and gratitude for the solidarity xx

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I'm so sorry. Holding SoCal in my thoughts.

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Thanks so much, Caryl <3

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Hi Ally, I am so sorry for all of this, I've only seen the news yesterday. I am sending you and all good thoughts and I'll hope with you that the winds die down and it gets better. I am struggling to find words, you're right, the world is fragile.

Thinking of you, be safe and keep your loved ones close.

Much love as always ❤️

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Thank you, Peter. Those are good words. Lots of love <3

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Just sending all my love. So much grief everywhere…

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Thank you, Sarah, it really does feel that way, doesn't it? Sending you so much love, too.

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Sending love and energy to get you through to the other side of this. Your words about allowing the emotional experience of this are so important. Fuck anyone who minimizes and downplays this enormous loss.

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Thank you, Mary Beth. Thank you for the love, and also for the backup fuck you energy where it’s needed. I really appreciate all the kindness and support so much ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼

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I came here to check in, hoping you and yours are safe. My sister and baby niece evacuated to the desert, friends have lost homes, many evacuated. I can't even fathom this devastation. The first chunk of my life was in the Palisades, and I'm not sure how it'll be rebuilt, and more importantly, where everyone's going to go in the meantime.

My cousins lost their home in Malibu Lakes in the last big fires, which seemed like nothing we'd seen before. This one's just beyond all reckoning. Please stay safe, Ally.

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Thank you so much, Rob. I’m kind of a mess right now tbh, but doing the best I can. Every other hour I think we won’t have to evacuate, then the winds change and I’m not sure again. The evacuation line hasn’t changed and the warning area hasn’t moved in our direction, so I guess I just have to wait and be ready and maybe get out of my pajamas now. I’m so glad your sister and niece are safe. I’m in this weird space of not wanting to leave and also feeling like I can’t/shouldn’t leave unless or until I know it’s safe or something. Like once I know we won’t be evacuated, then I can leave for a few days, catch my breath, and come back to help. I don’t even know what I mean. But we are safe and I will go if they say to go, and if it looks like they start to contain this thing, maybe I will take my daughter somewhere for a few days and have a good cry and breathe some fresh air and sleep a full night of sleep. One of my best friends lost his house, the one I was writing about, along with so many other friends out here and my heart is just broken. Thank you for checking on me, that is so kind of you it makes me cry. And please know I’m probably better than I sound, I’m just really tired right now and should try to nap even though I suck at napping. Hugs. Gratitude 🙏🏼❤️💔

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❤️

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❤️

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Hello I am in studio city. Let me know if you need anything. Conditions on this side are better than last night, but I imagine I won’t sleep much either.

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Thank you so much, Sara, that is so kind of you. I think it’s sort of holding steady here. The evacuation line in Santa Monica hasn’t moved all day, and now it says the palisades fire is 6% contained instead of 0% so that’s something. I’m glad conditions are slightly better tonight on your side. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until things feel less precarious. Message me if you need anything, too, even if it’s just solidarity ❤️

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Thank you solidarity is very nice. Even just in reading your post I felt a solidarity. Feel free to message me any time.

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as a SoCal resident and native, I nominate this post to be a reference for all people living through the fires and those watching the fires: prepare yourselves, help others, and be kind. hope you and your beloveds are safe and sound, and the winds calm soon.

~your neighbor to the south

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Thank you so much. I wish the same for you and yours, and I’m sending you lots of love ❤️ May the winds calm for us all 🙏🏼

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