This year my Grandma died. I loved her an awful lot. She did all the things you mentioned in the last paragraph. And was an enormously powerful part in my moral upbringing. I told everyone and their pet monkey this story of how when I was... I don't know how old, maybe 6 or 7, we always drove to a nearby town where she would get me a book and we would have a pizza or an ice cream. She'd always give money to every panhandling person she saw.
So that one time we got out of the bus and were approached by somebody asking for spare change. And she handed him 100 Mark, an awful lot of money at the time and for us. And being the young smartass that I was, I would tell her that she couldn't do that and that was way too much and that was one of the rare cases where she would get (rightfully) angry at me and tell me: "Why would that be too much? Who's even deciding that? I don't go out, I don't drink, I don't buy fancy clothes or go much to the hairdresser, I have this one luxury and that's helping other people. There's nobody taking that away from me." And that always stuck with me.
I gave her Eulogy. I didn't mention that, then, because most people had heard it from me in other contexts, before. But I ended on a tweet... most people didn't know what that was, due to the age discrepancy and us living somewhere deep down the German countryside... but still, the message was very understood and I thought you might appreciate it as well, if you don't know it yet to begin with...
"I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child & fell asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room."
Be hugged. And... it's not true you'll never hear her voice again. I truly believe I am not just being a smartass but rather saying something unexpectedly profound when I stress that the voice of people like this we hear in our memories is _still_ their voice. This living voice within us matters. But that doesn't solve the loss, I am aware. For now we will make do without them. But their memory will be a blessing.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Ally. Having an aunt like that is so special, I know. My mom had 3 sisters and all of them felt like my mother. They gave me different things at different times. I still have one, My Aunt Carole. She's almost 102 still living in the same house exactly a mile away from where I grew up. I did have a mother who knew how to mother, but we often had conflicts as mothers and daughters do. I would go running to my Aunt Carole and she helped me to understand. After reading this post of yours, I'm committed to spending more time with her. I am her person. She has lost a husband and both of her children. I need to make her feel as special as she always made me feel. So sorry for your deep hurt.
102, that’s amazing. And she sounds fantastic. I really hope the people who mother us who aren’t our mothers know how much they mean. Love to you and your Aunt Carole, Debra. Thank you for being here, and for your kind words🥹
Hi Ally, such a cute tribute and a lovely piece I thoroughly enjoyed (even though I wish it didn't happen).
Recently I've been to Slovakia and my friend told me that someone who we grew up with died of alcoholism. Also my parents had their 50th wedding anniversary and even though there was some arguing towards the end of the day (same as you guys back in US might argue on the Thanksgiving day lol), especially reading this I feel grateful for my family, because I'm slowly accepting that life is just messy.
But the thing I loved most is coming back to the UK and bringing Anneke some small gifts, I usually pick her a perfume she not had yet at the airport and I must say you're right, some people truly instantly make you happy when you see them or talk to them.
And also, I sincerely enjoy everything you write and I'm truly glad we met here in the online world and I love how simple characters of alphabet if you care about writing can carry love through the digital highways.
I'm very sorry for your loss dear Ally. I loved reading about the love you had for her and she for you. It made me feel hope.
this is so beautiful, and made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope her memory keeps you comforted.. what a treasure to have experienced that kind of love ❤️
Thank you, Jenny. I’ve had a very emotional few days with my cousins but it’s been so good to be together. She really was the best. Thank you for your kind words 🥹🙏🏼
Profound and important. As always. Thank you for cracking open your heart and letting this seep out so all of us could share in this special relationship you had. Such cherished memories makes a loss like this just a little easier to bear…
Thank you so much. Writing to you from my aunt's kitchen island. It has helped a lot to be with family, and I did go buy some black-and-white cookies (I even shared :)) Xo
This is a beautiful piece. So sorry for the loss of your aunt, it is clear how much she meant to you. Every child deserves at least one adult whose eyes light up at the sight of them. What a blessing.
This is such a tender piece. I had an aunt like this, who stepped up when I lost my mum (her sister) when I was just 33. She became like a grandma to my children…I know she liked that too and it was something she could do for my mum. You are so right…mothers come in different guises. I am so sorry for your loss ❤️
I love that your aunt stepped in that way. I hope people know how meaningful it is when you fill in the gaping holes with unconditional love. It’s everything. Thank you for your kind words, I’m glad you had an aunt like this, too ❤️🩹
What a gift to have been loved by your Aunt Louise 🧡 I'm so sorry she's no longer on this earth but I know that love like that doesn't die, even when we're no longer here. I was loved by my grandmother in the same way and even though it's been 30+ years since she's passed, the love she gave me is with me forever. May we all be lucky enough to be an "Aunt Louise" to those who need someone.
I agree I know the love is still with me and around me and I feel so grateful she was in my life. I wouldn’t be me without her and I don’t think I would have understood this kind of love. My grandma loved me like that, too, but I only had her for the four years. Anyway, here’s to being loved and loving people with your whole heart ♥️ Lots of love to you, Sonbol xoxox
"There's no such thing as other people's children." I loved this so much Ally, and bless your aunt Louise for being such a rock in your life.
I've been lucky enough to have rocks in my own life and I try to be a rock for my children and my grandchildren, and my nephews. And I hope in other ways I've made some other children's lives a little better too. I remember the difference it made to hear readers at my children's schools when they were little – kids who didn't necessarily get to read much with their own parents. There were so many good moments in that. Everyone can do something to make a child's life better.
Thanks so much, Wendy, and yes! I used to volunteer at my kids’ schools when they were little and tbh it was such a joy for me. I hope the kids got half as much out of it as I did. 5th grade is when I started reading with some of the older kids and it was so rewarding to help and just to listen, too. I have no doubt you’re a rock to anyone lucky enough to be in your circle. And I’m sending you so much love.
This year my Grandma died. I loved her an awful lot. She did all the things you mentioned in the last paragraph. And was an enormously powerful part in my moral upbringing. I told everyone and their pet monkey this story of how when I was... I don't know how old, maybe 6 or 7, we always drove to a nearby town where she would get me a book and we would have a pizza or an ice cream. She'd always give money to every panhandling person she saw.
So that one time we got out of the bus and were approached by somebody asking for spare change. And she handed him 100 Mark, an awful lot of money at the time and for us. And being the young smartass that I was, I would tell her that she couldn't do that and that was way too much and that was one of the rare cases where she would get (rightfully) angry at me and tell me: "Why would that be too much? Who's even deciding that? I don't go out, I don't drink, I don't buy fancy clothes or go much to the hairdresser, I have this one luxury and that's helping other people. There's nobody taking that away from me." And that always stuck with me.
I gave her Eulogy. I didn't mention that, then, because most people had heard it from me in other contexts, before. But I ended on a tweet... most people didn't know what that was, due to the age discrepancy and us living somewhere deep down the German countryside... but still, the message was very understood and I thought you might appreciate it as well, if you don't know it yet to begin with...
"I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child & fell asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room."
Be hugged. And... it's not true you'll never hear her voice again. I truly believe I am not just being a smartass but rather saying something unexpectedly profound when I stress that the voice of people like this we hear in our memories is _still_ their voice. This living voice within us matters. But that doesn't solve the loss, I am aware. For now we will make do without them. But their memory will be a blessing.
Thank you for this, Ged. And I’m very sorry for your loss, too. Your Grandma sounds like the absolute best.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Ally. Having an aunt like that is so special, I know. My mom had 3 sisters and all of them felt like my mother. They gave me different things at different times. I still have one, My Aunt Carole. She's almost 102 still living in the same house exactly a mile away from where I grew up. I did have a mother who knew how to mother, but we often had conflicts as mothers and daughters do. I would go running to my Aunt Carole and she helped me to understand. After reading this post of yours, I'm committed to spending more time with her. I am her person. She has lost a husband and both of her children. I need to make her feel as special as she always made me feel. So sorry for your deep hurt.
102, that’s amazing. And she sounds fantastic. I really hope the people who mother us who aren’t our mothers know how much they mean. Love to you and your Aunt Carole, Debra. Thank you for being here, and for your kind words🥹
Hi Ally, such a cute tribute and a lovely piece I thoroughly enjoyed (even though I wish it didn't happen).
Recently I've been to Slovakia and my friend told me that someone who we grew up with died of alcoholism. Also my parents had their 50th wedding anniversary and even though there was some arguing towards the end of the day (same as you guys back in US might argue on the Thanksgiving day lol), especially reading this I feel grateful for my family, because I'm slowly accepting that life is just messy.
But the thing I loved most is coming back to the UK and bringing Anneke some small gifts, I usually pick her a perfume she not had yet at the airport and I must say you're right, some people truly instantly make you happy when you see them or talk to them.
And also, I sincerely enjoy everything you write and I'm truly glad we met here in the online world and I love how simple characters of alphabet if you care about writing can carry love through the digital highways.
I'm very sorry for your loss dear Ally. I loved reading about the love you had for her and she for you. It made me feel hope.
Thank you as always for being here.
Namaste ❤️
Thanks, Peter. Love to you and Anneke as ever ❤️
I'm so, so sorry for your loss, sweet friend. I hope you feel her now, with you. If sound waves can carry the love, imagine what else can... x
Thank you, Wendy. Love you xx
Love you right back.
Sending you love, Ally.
Thank you so much. It was good to be with family, and it’s good to be back home. I’m all right ❤️🩹🙏🏼
this is so beautiful, and made me cry. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope her memory keeps you comforted.. what a treasure to have experienced that kind of love ❤️
Thank you, Jenny. I’ve had a very emotional few days with my cousins but it’s been so good to be together. She really was the best. Thank you for your kind words 🥹🙏🏼
Profound and important. As always. Thank you for cracking open your heart and letting this seep out so all of us could share in this special relationship you had. Such cherished memories makes a loss like this just a little easier to bear…
Thank you so much. Writing to you from my aunt's kitchen island. It has helped a lot to be with family, and I did go buy some black-and-white cookies (I even shared :)) Xo
This is a beautiful piece. So sorry for the loss of your aunt, it is clear how much she meant to you. Every child deserves at least one adult whose eyes light up at the sight of them. What a blessing.
She really was 🥹 Thanks, Holly. And it’s true, it makes all the difference xox
Such a beautiful piece. Your Aunt sounds like a very special person. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
She really was. Thank you so much, Marie ❤️🩹
This is such a tender piece. I had an aunt like this, who stepped up when I lost my mum (her sister) when I was just 33. She became like a grandma to my children…I know she liked that too and it was something she could do for my mum. You are so right…mothers come in different guises. I am so sorry for your loss ❤️
I love that your aunt stepped in that way. I hope people know how meaningful it is when you fill in the gaping holes with unconditional love. It’s everything. Thank you for your kind words, I’m glad you had an aunt like this, too ❤️🩹
What a gift to have been loved by your Aunt Louise 🧡 I'm so sorry she's no longer on this earth but I know that love like that doesn't die, even when we're no longer here. I was loved by my grandmother in the same way and even though it's been 30+ years since she's passed, the love she gave me is with me forever. May we all be lucky enough to be an "Aunt Louise" to those who need someone.
I agree I know the love is still with me and around me and I feel so grateful she was in my life. I wouldn’t be me without her and I don’t think I would have understood this kind of love. My grandma loved me like that, too, but I only had her for the four years. Anyway, here’s to being loved and loving people with your whole heart ♥️ Lots of love to you, Sonbol xoxox
So sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Mary. I’m okay. Just need to shed the tears and go be with my family this weekend, I know that will help ❤️🩹 Thank you for being here🥹
"There's no such thing as other people's children." I loved this so much Ally, and bless your aunt Louise for being such a rock in your life.
I've been lucky enough to have rocks in my own life and I try to be a rock for my children and my grandchildren, and my nephews. And I hope in other ways I've made some other children's lives a little better too. I remember the difference it made to hear readers at my children's schools when they were little – kids who didn't necessarily get to read much with their own parents. There were so many good moments in that. Everyone can do something to make a child's life better.
Thanks so much, Wendy, and yes! I used to volunteer at my kids’ schools when they were little and tbh it was such a joy for me. I hope the kids got half as much out of it as I did. 5th grade is when I started reading with some of the older kids and it was so rewarding to help and just to listen, too. I have no doubt you’re a rock to anyone lucky enough to be in your circle. And I’m sending you so much love.
What a great person, a great tribute.
She really was. Thank you, Stephanie ❤️🩹
I’m so sorry your heart is hurting…your any sounds like a wonderful person, very sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much, Jennie. She was the best ❤️🩹 Thanks for being here x
Aunt Louise. I'm so sorry for your loss, Ally.
Thank you, Mary Beth ❤️🩹