Jan 28Liked by Ally Hamilton

Mother passed early Friday, the cruelty of her dementia... that no one would even tell me, I trusted my gut she was dying and drove across the country w my daughter. Only to be unwelcomed by a gatekeeper brother w MPOA. (feeling guilt mom that was suffering? Y’all were in denial?) She suffered. I was a hospice charge nurse from 2006/2008-9 ish. So glad I’m learning from your podcasts & my extra senses..

one last:

Mom: I never really liked you, good for nothing (insert devil face plus the intended connection from her left foot to my right forearm). The last night she’d ever spend in her house on the hill.

I went through the roller coaster abuse I’d long ago blocked.

Ultimately my elderly father told me ‘you have to go, I think you & your brother hate each other“. Thought he was joking. Now I’m pissed, i didn’t intend anything less than relieving the pain and anxiety of mom’s, i swear i saw her as a small abused child.

I made tearful calls to try & find in home hospice for her, brothers reply was something akin to I’m getting a neurology consult. Uh bro, 20 years too late. I’m being hit w waves of tears from out of nowhere. I know, takes time. It’s foggy but it wasn’t about ‘I’m here to judge you’, i felt her cries for help and we didn’t have the best relationship.

They shot the fucking messenger. “Mom is dying”, sure throw and yell shit, looks like elder abuse to me.

God bless you for this podcast

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