Your essays always hit home. I love how honest and brave you are and how intent on finding true meaning among and beyond all the bullshit we surround ourselves with as a buffer against emotional truth. Truly grateful for your words. Thanks.
That specific spot of being a mother when your child is considered an adult and you have to both love them and let them go is so painful. I am right there and am not okay. Also, yes, love in relationships and friendships you are so very blind for so long.
It’s been an interesting season so far. I thought I’d be more anxious than I am with him in Europe and me here, but he’s having such a blast I find I’m just happy for him. And I helped him plan the whole thing so his trains, planes and hotel rooms are set so I’m not worrying about that. Plus I can see him on location services 🤣 I’m hoping the transition to college will be this smooth, sigh. And oh yes, I am so happy to be done with people who don’t know how to show up fully. I can love those people from afar, but they don’t make it into my innermost circle anymore and life is a lot more peaceful 🤍
"I’d been blinded by my attachment to this idea that we were friends, when they had been showing me for quite a while we were not." This happened to me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm so glad it happened. That person was not my friend and she had been taking advantage of me for a while. I was going through a hard time. I kept attributing feeling bad and down around her to the general hard time I was going through. In part, yes. But I had other friends that made me feel better. Not her. I just didn't piece it together, circumstances had to piece it together for me. Unfortunate, but I'm better off focusing on the people that do care about me and support me.
I'm so sorry you went through that. It's one of the more painful things. But I'm glad you have loving, supportive people in your life, and for sure, those are the people who deserve our time, attention and love. Hugs to you, thanks for your thoughtful comments <3
I almost sprained my neck nodding at your observations. What an astute and thoughtful piece this is. I know that so much of the love in my life passes all tests, but it’s so hard to let go of the dysfunctional ties sometimes. Thank you for reminding me that letting go does not always equal loss, in fact quite the opposite.
Oh Eileen, thank you for your beautiful comments. It’s been my life long work to grip less and trust more. Everything flows better when I do, but I still have to remind myself. And I hope you love the book, I feel sure you will. Thank you so much for being here 🤍🤍
“There’s such a freedom that comes from dealing with things as they are, even if what we have to face is our own heartbreak.”
This whole piece is wise and thoughtful and incredibly loving, Ally. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for seeing me and so many of us who have had to learn how to take up god given space. xo
Thank you so much, Kate. As usual your comments hit me right in the heart. And so grateful you’re taking up space, you make the world a better place to be 🤍✨
Hello Ally xx Glad all went well in Portugal and you are all home safe. Beautifully written and on point in words and feelings that are somewhere in my head that you pull out and you have explained very eloquently, in ways that shoot straight to my heart ❤️ thank you xx love you beautiful lady xx Happy 4th July to you all xx
Thanks so much, Barbara, your comments are so deeply appreciated as always <3 Congrats on a good election result over there, let's hope some of that energy heads our way. Love you xxx
I saw your essay dropped as I was walking home with shopping and I was excited to read what you wrote and oh my, what a wonderful piece!
Quite a few things resonated with me!
As I've mentioned before, I've recently finished the book Selfie: How the West Became Self-Obsessed and whilst I totally agree we probably won't find happiness on the outside, the uncomfortable truth seems to be that we as social and tribal species simply need others to reflect who we are and some external validation is needed.
As a child I couldn't understand why God "needed" to create humans to "worship him" it didn't make sense lol, but now I kind of see some sense there and that is through my daughter for example I get to experience dynamic of parental love and joy and worry etc which I simply wouldn't do without her reacting to my own being.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is, my current view is that we need others to experience certain parts of ourselves.
I must admit, I love what happens to my mind when I'm accessing fragments of your mind in your writing. Of course this isn't you or me requiring validation but I sometimes feel a bit unsure why I get excited to comment :)
But rest assured I feel joy when I do!
Once again, I appreciate the honest writing and I'm glad your son is here in Europe and will see Prague! May his journey here be blessed!
And finally, I totally loved the part about not having to explain what we mean when we say things like "I love you."
I'm not sure why, but I've listened to "Don't be so serious" by Low Roar today, maybe you can listen too and tell me what you think.
I’m glad this resonated. I totally agree we are social creatures (even the introverts) and there are certain things that can only be worked out in relationship to someone else. If you have fear of intimacy for example, and you work on it and maybe go to therapy and do some somatic work and read a bunch of books and listen to TED talks and whatever else you want to do, the truth is you won’t know how far you’ve come until you find yourself getting close to someone again. That vulnerability of letting your guard down and trusting someone can really only be felt by letting your guard down and trusting someone :) That’s where the rubber meets the road as they say.
And for me, I’m in that season of letting go and watching my firstborn kid head out into the big wide world. And I get to see how I do with that, after almost two decades of trying to keep him safe. So far so good, I’m doing better than I thought I would lol.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with needing connection and love and figuring yourself out in that context, and I also think sometimes there’s work we need to do inside ourselves in order to be ready to really connect with other people in a meaningful, loving way.
I think words are so amazing, I love them. I love language and rhythm and creating something out of nothing, just with words and thoughts. So it’s interesting to me when people use the same words to mean different things. And it’s a joy when you meet someone who has the same definition because then there isn’t a lot of energy spent on explaining yourself or feeling confused. I listened to the song and I liked it. It’s vibey haha.
Always good to “chat” and roll ideas around. Sending you lots of love til next time!
Your essays always hit home. I love how honest and brave you are and how intent on finding true meaning among and beyond all the bullshit we surround ourselves with as a buffer against emotional truth. Truly grateful for your words. Thanks.
Thank you so much. Your comments made my day and I’m very grateful you’re here 🤍🤍
That specific spot of being a mother when your child is considered an adult and you have to both love them and let them go is so painful. I am right there and am not okay. Also, yes, love in relationships and friendships you are so very blind for so long.
It’s been an interesting season so far. I thought I’d be more anxious than I am with him in Europe and me here, but he’s having such a blast I find I’m just happy for him. And I helped him plan the whole thing so his trains, planes and hotel rooms are set so I’m not worrying about that. Plus I can see him on location services 🤣 I’m hoping the transition to college will be this smooth, sigh. And oh yes, I am so happy to be done with people who don’t know how to show up fully. I can love those people from afar, but they don’t make it into my innermost circle anymore and life is a lot more peaceful 🤍
"I’d been blinded by my attachment to this idea that we were friends, when they had been showing me for quite a while we were not." This happened to me. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I'm so glad it happened. That person was not my friend and she had been taking advantage of me for a while. I was going through a hard time. I kept attributing feeling bad and down around her to the general hard time I was going through. In part, yes. But I had other friends that made me feel better. Not her. I just didn't piece it together, circumstances had to piece it together for me. Unfortunate, but I'm better off focusing on the people that do care about me and support me.
I'm so sorry you went through that. It's one of the more painful things. But I'm glad you have loving, supportive people in your life, and for sure, those are the people who deserve our time, attention and love. Hugs to you, thanks for your thoughtful comments <3
Every word of this.
Love you so much 🤍🤍
I almost sprained my neck nodding at your observations. What an astute and thoughtful piece this is. I know that so much of the love in my life passes all tests, but it’s so hard to let go of the dysfunctional ties sometimes. Thank you for reminding me that letting go does not always equal loss, in fact quite the opposite.
Now I must order that book.
Oh Eileen, thank you for your beautiful comments. It’s been my life long work to grip less and trust more. Everything flows better when I do, but I still have to remind myself. And I hope you love the book, I feel sure you will. Thank you so much for being here 🤍🤍
“There’s such a freedom that comes from dealing with things as they are, even if what we have to face is our own heartbreak.”
This whole piece is wise and thoughtful and incredibly loving, Ally. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for seeing me and so many of us who have had to learn how to take up god given space. xo
Thank you so much, Kate. As usual your comments hit me right in the heart. And so grateful you’re taking up space, you make the world a better place to be 🤍✨
Right back atchya friend
Hello Ally xx Glad all went well in Portugal and you are all home safe. Beautifully written and on point in words and feelings that are somewhere in my head that you pull out and you have explained very eloquently, in ways that shoot straight to my heart ❤️ thank you xx love you beautiful lady xx Happy 4th July to you all xx
Thanks so much, Barbara, your comments are so deeply appreciated as always <3 Congrats on a good election result over there, let's hope some of that energy heads our way. Love you xxx
Thank you xx 🙏🙏 things can only get better 😘😉 hope for a good outcome for you all in the US too xx more love back 💕💕💕xxx
Thank you, Ally.
Thanks for being here :)
Hi Ally,
I saw your essay dropped as I was walking home with shopping and I was excited to read what you wrote and oh my, what a wonderful piece!
Quite a few things resonated with me!
As I've mentioned before, I've recently finished the book Selfie: How the West Became Self-Obsessed and whilst I totally agree we probably won't find happiness on the outside, the uncomfortable truth seems to be that we as social and tribal species simply need others to reflect who we are and some external validation is needed.
As a child I couldn't understand why God "needed" to create humans to "worship him" it didn't make sense lol, but now I kind of see some sense there and that is through my daughter for example I get to experience dynamic of parental love and joy and worry etc which I simply wouldn't do without her reacting to my own being.
I suppose what I'm trying to say is, my current view is that we need others to experience certain parts of ourselves.
I must admit, I love what happens to my mind when I'm accessing fragments of your mind in your writing. Of course this isn't you or me requiring validation but I sometimes feel a bit unsure why I get excited to comment :)
But rest assured I feel joy when I do!
Once again, I appreciate the honest writing and I'm glad your son is here in Europe and will see Prague! May his journey here be blessed!
And finally, I totally loved the part about not having to explain what we mean when we say things like "I love you."
I'm not sure why, but I've listened to "Don't be so serious" by Low Roar today, maybe you can listen too and tell me what you think.
Namaste 🙏
As always, all the best for you and your family
Hi Peter!
I’m glad this resonated. I totally agree we are social creatures (even the introverts) and there are certain things that can only be worked out in relationship to someone else. If you have fear of intimacy for example, and you work on it and maybe go to therapy and do some somatic work and read a bunch of books and listen to TED talks and whatever else you want to do, the truth is you won’t know how far you’ve come until you find yourself getting close to someone again. That vulnerability of letting your guard down and trusting someone can really only be felt by letting your guard down and trusting someone :) That’s where the rubber meets the road as they say.
And for me, I’m in that season of letting go and watching my firstborn kid head out into the big wide world. And I get to see how I do with that, after almost two decades of trying to keep him safe. So far so good, I’m doing better than I thought I would lol.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with needing connection and love and figuring yourself out in that context, and I also think sometimes there’s work we need to do inside ourselves in order to be ready to really connect with other people in a meaningful, loving way.
I think words are so amazing, I love them. I love language and rhythm and creating something out of nothing, just with words and thoughts. So it’s interesting to me when people use the same words to mean different things. And it’s a joy when you meet someone who has the same definition because then there isn’t a lot of energy spent on explaining yourself or feeling confused. I listened to the song and I liked it. It’s vibey haha.
Always good to “chat” and roll ideas around. Sending you lots of love til next time!