Thank you for your WIDE and WISE perspective, Ally. Your words always make me feel less alone. It's hard not to loose your mind in the current climate (although a unanimous, criminal conviction on thirty-four counts can somewhat restore our faith.) Tonight, I'm thinking about my neighbors who are die-hard Trump supporters and don't condone my wife and mine 'lesbian progressive lifestyle' but were there for us when our favorite horse died last Sunday. They stayed with us all day and made sure we were safe. They hugged us and gave us comfort. We are all but specks in an ever-expanding (or collapsing) universe, but connecting with other specks remains key.
Funny, you just reminded me of this male yoga teacher I worked with years ago. Trump supporter, wildly sexist, loved the NRA. One awful day my beloved dog died. It was horrible and unexpected, he was fine and then one morning he woke up and couldn’t walk in a straight line. I raced him to the vet and then the emergency vet. I was 8.5 months pregnant with my first. My dog had been my constant companion for 10 years, he went everywhere with me. Anyway, I can’t write anymore details now because I’m losing it but he was gone in a matter of a hours. I went home in shock and was just beside myself. I was supposed to teach and there was no way so I sent out a group request for a sub and briefly explained what had happened. That teacher called me instantly, cried on the phone with me, and taught my classes that day and the next. He wouldn’t even take money for teaching. So sometimes people really surprise you. I still had to unfollow him on all social media, but somewhere in there, underneath the sexism and blustering and bigotry is a beating heart and a lot of compassion. People are so complicated. I can detest his politics and outlook, but still somehow remember that, and I think that’s the stuff that’s getting lost “out there” which is understandable but problematic to say the least.
And yes, that conviction certainly gave us one small but extremely satisfying and reassuring thing to celebrate. And I saw Sarah McLachlan live last night and she was incredible. And there’s all of you. I am so sorry about your horse. My deepest condolences to you and your wife. I’m glad your neighbors showed up for you. I wish people could really tap into their best selves more of the time. Life feels a lot better that way. Hugs and love, thank you for being here 🤍
laughing through tears while reading your reply (about having to unfollow someone's political rants while also appreciating their compassion - that about sums up modern life.)
So sorry about your dog, Ally. The price we pay for loving is grief, always, yet there's no good alternative to loving. Thank you so much for being you.
I'm sat here in our kitchen waiting for sweet potato fries to bake and I thought I'll read your essay.
I really loved this one (which I think is what I always say lol).
It reminds me of Sarah Manguso writing in her book The Two Kinds Of Decay, which is my most favourite book probably.
I totally understand what you mean / feel here.
Yesterday I was in town with Anneke and as we were walking down to tech second hand shop a homeless lady asked us for change and I said "Sorry." as if to say something okaish and as we entered the tech shop I said to Anneke "Actually I have change, I'll give you some to give her on the way back." And I gave £3 in 1 pound coins to Anneke and she gave it to the lady and I observed her, I mean Anneke, I could see empathy and kindness and pride and joy in her. I didn't really look properly as I wanted her to be herself but I heard her words and I know when she's acting from her heart.
You're right, ultimately we're all ONE. It's not easy to feel this oneness due to ego I suppose, but even our online friendship tells me that if I am capable of cultivating a genuine friendship with someone I never met and we only read each other thoughts online, surely I can expand this ability and understand almost every other being.
Of course it's easier to understand and love someone like you, where I feel the same frequency of our beings but what if where there's disconnect it's just because either us or them have damaged radio and we operate on wrong frequency? What if we could fix that?
I'd love to say thank you for these thoughts and cultivating the online space for me and others so we may grow more into appreciating the oneness and mystery that surrounds us.
Thank you for you kind comments, Peter. I have definitely had days lately where it’s been hard to hold onto hope - I think we all have! - but whenever I struggle, I remember there are so many beautiful, thoughtful, introspective and kind people in the world, and that’s where I need to turn my attention when things start to feel dark.
There’s no doubt it’s a LOT easier to connect with people who have a similar outlook about things and sometimes it is mind-bendingly HARD to remember that people who are spewing venom are doing it because they have intense and unaddressed rage, fear and pain inside. Having compassion for people who don’t understand that someone else’s different choices are not a condemnation of their own is a practice in itself, and trying not to dehumanize people who are causing the most heartbreak in the world is exhausting but necessary I think.
And then, of course, there’s making sure we are not at war within ourselves. I just recorded the podcast and talked about that.
Anyway, thank you for being here. Sending love to you and Anneke 🤍
Such an interesting read, Ally, thank you
Thanks you, Charlotte, appreciated 🤍
Thank you for your WIDE and WISE perspective, Ally. Your words always make me feel less alone. It's hard not to loose your mind in the current climate (although a unanimous, criminal conviction on thirty-four counts can somewhat restore our faith.) Tonight, I'm thinking about my neighbors who are die-hard Trump supporters and don't condone my wife and mine 'lesbian progressive lifestyle' but were there for us when our favorite horse died last Sunday. They stayed with us all day and made sure we were safe. They hugged us and gave us comfort. We are all but specks in an ever-expanding (or collapsing) universe, but connecting with other specks remains key.
Funny, you just reminded me of this male yoga teacher I worked with years ago. Trump supporter, wildly sexist, loved the NRA. One awful day my beloved dog died. It was horrible and unexpected, he was fine and then one morning he woke up and couldn’t walk in a straight line. I raced him to the vet and then the emergency vet. I was 8.5 months pregnant with my first. My dog had been my constant companion for 10 years, he went everywhere with me. Anyway, I can’t write anymore details now because I’m losing it but he was gone in a matter of a hours. I went home in shock and was just beside myself. I was supposed to teach and there was no way so I sent out a group request for a sub and briefly explained what had happened. That teacher called me instantly, cried on the phone with me, and taught my classes that day and the next. He wouldn’t even take money for teaching. So sometimes people really surprise you. I still had to unfollow him on all social media, but somewhere in there, underneath the sexism and blustering and bigotry is a beating heart and a lot of compassion. People are so complicated. I can detest his politics and outlook, but still somehow remember that, and I think that’s the stuff that’s getting lost “out there” which is understandable but problematic to say the least.
And yes, that conviction certainly gave us one small but extremely satisfying and reassuring thing to celebrate. And I saw Sarah McLachlan live last night and she was incredible. And there’s all of you. I am so sorry about your horse. My deepest condolences to you and your wife. I’m glad your neighbors showed up for you. I wish people could really tap into their best selves more of the time. Life feels a lot better that way. Hugs and love, thank you for being here 🤍
laughing through tears while reading your reply (about having to unfollow someone's political rants while also appreciating their compassion - that about sums up modern life.)
So sorry about your dog, Ally. The price we pay for loving is grief, always, yet there's no good alternative to loving. Thank you so much for being you.
Hey Ally,
Hope you are well.
I'm sat here in our kitchen waiting for sweet potato fries to bake and I thought I'll read your essay.
I really loved this one (which I think is what I always say lol).
It reminds me of Sarah Manguso writing in her book The Two Kinds Of Decay, which is my most favourite book probably.
I totally understand what you mean / feel here.
Yesterday I was in town with Anneke and as we were walking down to tech second hand shop a homeless lady asked us for change and I said "Sorry." as if to say something okaish and as we entered the tech shop I said to Anneke "Actually I have change, I'll give you some to give her on the way back." And I gave £3 in 1 pound coins to Anneke and she gave it to the lady and I observed her, I mean Anneke, I could see empathy and kindness and pride and joy in her. I didn't really look properly as I wanted her to be herself but I heard her words and I know when she's acting from her heart.
You're right, ultimately we're all ONE. It's not easy to feel this oneness due to ego I suppose, but even our online friendship tells me that if I am capable of cultivating a genuine friendship with someone I never met and we only read each other thoughts online, surely I can expand this ability and understand almost every other being.
Of course it's easier to understand and love someone like you, where I feel the same frequency of our beings but what if where there's disconnect it's just because either us or them have damaged radio and we operate on wrong frequency? What if we could fix that?
I'd love to say thank you for these thoughts and cultivating the online space for me and others so we may grow more into appreciating the oneness and mystery that surrounds us.
Namaste. 🙏♥️
Peter
Thank you for you kind comments, Peter. I have definitely had days lately where it’s been hard to hold onto hope - I think we all have! - but whenever I struggle, I remember there are so many beautiful, thoughtful, introspective and kind people in the world, and that’s where I need to turn my attention when things start to feel dark.
There’s no doubt it’s a LOT easier to connect with people who have a similar outlook about things and sometimes it is mind-bendingly HARD to remember that people who are spewing venom are doing it because they have intense and unaddressed rage, fear and pain inside. Having compassion for people who don’t understand that someone else’s different choices are not a condemnation of their own is a practice in itself, and trying not to dehumanize people who are causing the most heartbreak in the world is exhausting but necessary I think.
And then, of course, there’s making sure we are not at war within ourselves. I just recorded the podcast and talked about that.
Anyway, thank you for being here. Sending love to you and Anneke 🤍