Maybe it’s the daily onslaught of living in America right now, but I have become obsessed with the Big Bear Bald Eagle Nest Cam-1. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you should click that link and come back to read the rest of this in three hours when you’re done watching, but it’s a live feed of a Bald Eagles’ aerie (aka,
Thanks I loved the eagles and your musings on them. But I wish you had not added the Gene Hackman clip. He talked about how tough it was when his father left and then turned right around and did the same with his own wife and kids. In another interview he talks about how he was gone 3-5 months at a time and he was estranged from his children. According to him his second wife helped him reconnect with his daughters but not his son. He dismissed his first marriage as we just grew apart. All that happens when you leave your family even if you pretend you didn’t mean it. Also, if you are in any way connected to people, it seems sad that no one would miss you for 2 weeks, not even your daughters. So yeah, he was a great actor but please don’t hold him up as a model father.
Caveat: Yes I save my special venom for parents that neglect or abuse their children. I had one and married one.
Hi Corina ❤️ To be clear, I was not holding him up as a model father. The only people who can really speak to what kind of dad he was are his kids. And I’m sure his ex wife and his second wife had their own feelings and there’s whatever he felt himself. But mostly his own kids are the people who are the experts on that, in my opinion, anyway.
I had my own pretty crap dad if we’re gonna tell it like it is, which we are. Very selfish guy, really never got out of his own way long enough to love anyone else enough to put them ahead of his own bullshit. Especially his kids. Especially his wives. So you don’t have to convince me about the damage that causes.
I shared the clip because he’s talking about using your heartbreaks as fuel for your art. I think we’re all pretty heartbroken right now, and I think that’s always the best thing you can do with your pain, whatever the source of it. Try to understand yourself, have some compassion for the way the loss/grief/betrayal/outrage impacted/is impacting you, integrate it, and see if you can create something beautiful out of it. That’s why I shared the clip. That, and because I think he was a wonderful actor, and the circumstances around the way he, his second wife and one of their dogs died are just incredibly sad. And, I suppose, because I think you can make mistakes in life, even big ones, and maybe your mistakes are not the sum of you.
Anyway, I’m glad you mostly enjoyed this and all the Eagle musings. And I’m sending you a lot of love.
Well, yes pain does impact both your feelings and your actions. Taylor Swift certainly uses her personal life to create her music. And yes he was a very good actor.
It was not clear to me that it was two separate pieces. Also I had seen the other clip earlier today so it was fresh. The difference in demeanor was striking. He was crying about what his father did to him but dismissed his estrangement from his children almost with a wave of the hand and oh well.
It is sad that they were so disconnected from people that no one missed them for almost 2 weeks-and if the door had not been ajar, the-maintenance man would probably not have noticed.
You do realize that he was probably without food or water on the cold floor in the middle of February up in the mountains for the 5/7 days he outlived her. It was sad but also stupid. With their money they could hire someone to relieve part of the load. But it sounds like she would leave him home alone while she ran errands. People with Alzheimers or dementia tend to wander. I knew of one woman who went outside to see the pretty snow and froze because her caregiver had to leave her to spend the night at home.
But your eagles were absolutely fantastic … the birds are so majestic.
I’ve been driving my teenager around the entire day. I’m basically a glorified chauffeur today lol. I also slept terribly last night as I have been lately. So I may not be expressing myself eloquently right now, but if you have any doubt about whether we’re on the same page when it comes to selfish bastards who are also dads: https://open.substack.com/pub/allyhamilton/p/moving-violations?r=gcqpo&utm_medium=ios
So we are both going to connect and sympathize and understand that we get pulled in many directions. My daughter is a choice mom and about 20 years ago I blithely said that I would be her nanny. She took me at my word. This week, she and her best friend went to Istanbul to celebrate their 50th birthdays. I am home with 2 preteens. They are mostly good but they are still string willed preteens and I am old.
We will get through this although I fantasize about T and his cohorts drinking Jim Jones’ koolaide. They have to do it on their own so one gets accused of anything.
I am laughing about the Kool Aid. And your daughter is very lucky, and I hope she's having a fabulous birthday :) Preteens are a lot of work, so I'm sending you tons of love and solidarity.
Hi Ally, I had a look at the nest and it's pretty awesome! As for the rest of the post, and what I've read on my social media, I'm still in some strange disbelief. This feels as iif this was some strange Wonderland and the evil Queen would be going for everyone's heads.
I recently watched Gladiator 2 and during the first encounter with the evil Roman emperors and through the display of games where normal folks were enjoying brutal games as if it was TV made me think that despite technological advances human race quite frankly didn't change much in those let's say 2000 years.
And that's the problem I guess. It seems it was always in us as a race to never really be able to achieve peace utopia, harmony.
I guess that basically whole nature as it is is merciless and we might have tried to convince ourselves otherwise, but I'm beginning to simply wonder what the actual nature of human is. The greed and cruelty of some people out there is just evil. This is not even close to some of the random evil people ocassionally do, this is not just a homicide but more like "countrycide".
I wish you and your family all the best in these difficult times.
Yeah it’s hard to have a lot of faith at the moment, I understand. My feeling is there have probably always been people who solved their problems by bashing their neighbors over the head, and those who try to talk it out or bring some flowers lol. I really don’t know anymore. Except I like kind and thoughtful people and try to avoid the people who want to bash my head in. Hugs and love across the pond.
“Arrogant men will be the death of us.” Yes, I believe they will. Thank you, Ally. You have such a gift. I so appreciate your realness, and I always come away from your writing feeling better somehow than I did before reading it, be it feeling validated or enlightened or seen. There is so much in the world right now that is infuriating and scary and sad. Your writing feels like community. And thank you for mentioning Gene Hackman. He was always one of my favorite actors and brought so much raw authenticity to every role he played. Blessings to you ❤️
Sarah, thank you so much. I can’t even tell you what your comments mean to me, but they went straight to my heart. I might have to print them out. It’s been hard lately, I re-read and edit about 791 times because I feel like we’re all struggling and I don’t want to publish if it isn’t going to be helpful or comforting, at least on some level. So I thank you for this, from the bottom of my heart. And thank you for being here ♥️
I hope you have some idea how much it means to me for you to say that. Because obviously I feel the same about you. Thank you, Kate. I am so lucky you’re my friend.
I live up the road from you in Ojai, and the number of RFK fans here is extraordinary. Intelligent older women with graduate degrees and established professional careers just seem to switch their minds off when it comes to RFK and the woo-woo. I was writing away in the library one day recently, and a young itinerant guy started chatting up this woman of about my age who told him that she was a senior judge preparing to review property legislation for a major case. Within 10 minutes they were bonding over how Covid was fake, the vaccines killed people not Covid, the lockdown was a government plot to destroy business, it was all a hoax. By that point, I’d had enough, turned round, and told them that a) a million of their fellow Americans had died of Covid, and b) they were sitting in the quiet zone so they needed to shut up. He left in a huff and she apologised to me for the noise - but not for the stupidity. People have lost their minds.
It’s one of the most dizzying, depressing and disturbing parts of this nightmare, isn’t it? I watched so many people in the yoga and “wellness” community lose their minds during COVID and they are *still* talking about government overreach and this “untested” mandatory vaccine Biden made us take and all the people who were forced out of jobs if they refused to get it and “where was your outrage then?” And I’m like, oh, I was outraged lol. I was outraged you were putting people at risk by refusing to get vaccinated and comparing it to bodily autonomy and abortion rights. I was outraged you were telling people to use ivermectin and also buy your 30-day pranayama course with a special promo code for essential oils that would help people breathe if they were wheezing. I was outraged you were having dance parties for the unvaccinated. I was disgusted when you said you wanted to date “pure bloods” and not people who’d “gotten the jab” and I was really amazed when you decided to get on the fascism train if it meant you could have your “Bobby.”
I also have a bit of a personal issue in all this which is that my mom was diagnosed ALS while all this was going on. And a very close family member got caught up in the “do your own research on YouTube mania” and would not get vaccinated and was around her all the time. And then eventually, at the end when she was on a feeding tube, began adding things in addition to the formula. Things that were meant to be helpful, like turmeric and coconut oil, and extra water for hydration - things recommended on fucking YouTube - but accidentally diluted her sodium levels. That’s what put her in the hospital and she never came home.
This bullshit KILLS people. She was going to die, and in a way she suffered less because it sped everything up, but am I still furious? Yes. I haven’t written about it because I love this person and it is painful af and he meant well, he loved her, too. But the fucking arrogance and ignorance of thinking you know more than epidemiologists and scientists and people who’ve been studying pandemics and viruses and infectious disease all their lives is mind boggling.
Anyway, I thank you for being here. I could see the scene you set up there in Ojai. Absolutely wild times we’re living through. Sending you hugs from rainy Santa Monica ❤️🩹❤️🩹
"oh I was outraged lol" - yep, me too, white hot outraged, so outraged that I regularly had to walk into the forest behind our house and scream my heart out just to get it out of me. I still don't know how people can believe the most ridiculous shit like chem trails etc. - and then ALSO lack the imagination/curiosity to understand what thousands of people dying a day means, or how or why they died. Back then in, what was it, summer-autumn 2020, I was still in the UK where the appallingly inept and corrupt government response to the pandemic meant that 900+ people a day were dying of Covid. Why am I one of the few people who seems to understand that is the equivalent of two or three 747s crashing EVERY FUCKING DAY with no survivors?! And was I alone in feeling compelled EVERY FUCKING DAY to go for a walk and with each step count the dead, in tears at the distance it would take me? I will never forget where I was when I heard that they'd developed a vaccine, and how I cried, just overcome with sheer joy and gratitude for the scientists who had given us cause to do more than merely hope for survival.
I am so so sorry about the situation with your mom, Ally - that this was all mixed up in it, and that it's all mixed up with love for your family member too. What torture for the heart. But really 'do your own research' - as a tenured professor who's supervised dozens of PhD dissertations, I know this about research: it's not fucking watching YouTube videos.
Hugs back to you from equally rainy Ojai, where my British habit of going nowhere without an umbrella is finally paying off. ❤️❤️
It’s infuriating and exhausting and heartbreaking and all the things. Sometimes I feel like we slipped through a portal somewhere along the way or that we’re in the Twilight Zone. It all makes me so sad because time is short and this is all such a waste.
Thank you for your kind words about my mom. I am still unraveling all the feelings around that. I feel like we’ve all have so much trauma from these last 8 years. It is so good to have people who understand, though. And I’m sending you love and hugs. Thank you for being here ❤️
It’s so hard to stomach this round, especially the cabinet of sycophant assholes. I wouldn’t let RFK Jr recommend a cough drop, I can’t wait to see what other old school diseases make a comeback. More eagle cam recommended 🦅♥️
Two cases of measles in CA now 😩 I’m going to take my own advice and get an antibody titer test just to see. I won’t be stopping for French fries on the way home, either. Absolute shit show, but I sure am grateful for all of you. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs from Santa Monica, and a lot of love, Eileen xx
Beautifully expressed Ally. I keep thinking it must be a fever dream. Something crazy is going to happen and those conned will wake up and join the good fight. Until then, make love, more art, and stay in the light.
I keep thinking that, too, because the alternative is too awful to bear. It really feels
like we exist in two different realities, it’s so hard to fathom how half of us could look at thee circumstances and draw one set of conclusions and the other half think it’s all fantastic. I’m oversimplifying and overstating but not by a lot. Anyway, I appreciate you and everyone here so much. And yes, more art, more love, more eagles, and chocolate also helps ❤️
Hearts to you, too. And yeah, I have no idea what the Billy Ocean rules are in that case, but I will now have that song in my head for the rest of the day 🤣 Gen X forever.
Thanks Ally. The sound of that rushing wind is so cleansing. I'm going to check in with the eagles daily to reset. I think most of us are committed to restoring our democracy. It was flawed, but doesn't deserve to be eviscerated by the Republicans, who will never understand the question, "If I am for myself alone, what am I?"
It’s too bad they didn’t reject this man the minute he came down that escalator. It’s a Pandora’s Box that I wish we could close. Not suggesting the problems weren’t there to be exploited, just…feel like he has stoked the absolute worst in the worst of people. Heartbreaking to see, pointless to dwell on I suppose. Thank you for being here ❤️ Eagle check-ins for the win.
White tailed eagles have been reintroduced to our area of the UK in the past few years. No nest-cam, but whenever I see an update about them I'm straight on it. I want to know their progress and see them as a symbol of hope.
They really are extraordinary. It’s not like I haven’t appreciated that before now, but something about the nest cam really drove the point home. Last night there was a storm, it was snowing and the winds looked intense and I found myself crying watching Jackie (I think it was Jackie) protecting her chicks. No doubt I’m feeling everything intensely these days, but I think the break from all the insanity to see something so profound is giving me oxygen right now. Thanks for being here, Wendy, sending you lots of love ❤️
Isn’t it amazing? It does me in. It has to be freezing, but that is just steadfast love. I have to tell you, not everyone is as enamored or obsessed, but I find it so beautiful. I’m glad you do, too 🥹
They really ARE the worst of us, every last one of them, lying to us, making shit up, ruining our country, and they’re wasting so much time and OUR MONEY on so many shitty things like taking people to Guantanamo in army planes and flying to Mar-a-Lago every goddamn weekend and jackhammering that plaza (why????). And EM is giving $100 million for WHAT??? Why doesn’t he donate it to the places that had to close their doors becuz he trashed USAID??
My heart is breaking for all the people who have been laid off and treated so disrespectfully. And it breaks for the ones left behind becuz man, I’m sure it’s good to still have a job ($) but imagine how shitty it is now?
And Ukraine… and Canada… and there are cops protecting the Tesla showroom in Chicago. I mean SERIOUSLY???
I know, Elle. Me, too. It’s very hard to take and very hard to keep the faith, I just know we have to - and when we’re struggling that’s when we need to help each other.
There are so many reasons to feel heartbroken and outraged every day and it just is not normal. I heard this woman from Ohio call into CSPAN today because she was worried about Social Security and she started crying, and it just broke me. Your government shouldn’t terrorize you every day.
And everyone deserves due process, my god. People just don’t seem to understand. But we have to take breaks and watch Bald Eagles or get outside or meet friends or read books because it’s not sustainable to be devastated 24/7. They want us to break. So we just have to be gentle with ourselves and keep filling the tank with good stuff, too.
I’m going to do a chat at some point tomorrow just to say hi and send some love. Come get some if you’re around ❤️ Sending you a lot of love and hugs in the meantime. Thank you for being here xx
I clicked on this article in hopes of reading the rest of the meme/message or at least to read about it in your article. I was disappointed that your article has nothing to do with it, which is misleading and reminiscent of MSM's use of clickbait.
Ally, when your story showed up on my feed, it was with a quote/meme attached that wasn't related to your story. Now. When I open your story, it's not there. Must've been a glitch.
Oh Elizabeth, it’s so okay. There have been some strange things happening on Substack lately, I think there was a huge influx of people after all the madness with tik tok and all the people leaving meta platforms, so there have been some glitches. I really hope they don’t start attaching memes or quotes to essays, though, hopefully that was just some anomaly. I would not be happy about that at all. But I’m very relieved to know it wasn’t my title that upset you, I really was confused and now I’m just laughing. So many other things to worry about. I’m very glad to meet you, and I hope we can be friends. This would be a good origin story 😆
Hi Elizabeth. Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. A huge part of this essay is about the Big Bear Bald Eagle Nest Cam. It's also about the mess in our government, and the Bald Eagle is is a national symbol of the United States. I can't see how this is a misrepresentation of what I wrote about or could be considered "clickbait" by anyone's standards. I have no interest in getting someone to "click" on an essay and then be pissed off. So...yeah. Not really what's happening here. Hope your day gets better. Came back to say I hope my day gets better, too. I suppose if you thought this was going to be about Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, then I can see why you would have been disappointed. I figured the eagle in the thumbnail and the fact that the first sentence was about the Bald Eagles in Big Bear would make it clear that's not where I was headed. It was about the mission that has been accomplished by these people wreaking havoc in Washington, and the way they have successfully thrown many of us into a state of despair. Which might be on display right here. Also, trying to find comfort where you can. Anyway, there are better things to argue about, but I was certainly not intending to mislead anyone. And I do wish you a good day. Take care x
I had to stop reading. Bernie is NOT a Democrat.
Thanks, Jeffery. I do realize that and meant to edit weeks ago.
Thanks I loved the eagles and your musings on them. But I wish you had not added the Gene Hackman clip. He talked about how tough it was when his father left and then turned right around and did the same with his own wife and kids. In another interview he talks about how he was gone 3-5 months at a time and he was estranged from his children. According to him his second wife helped him reconnect with his daughters but not his son. He dismissed his first marriage as we just grew apart. All that happens when you leave your family even if you pretend you didn’t mean it. Also, if you are in any way connected to people, it seems sad that no one would miss you for 2 weeks, not even your daughters. So yeah, he was a great actor but please don’t hold him up as a model father.
Caveat: Yes I save my special venom for parents that neglect or abuse their children. I had one and married one.
Hi Corina ❤️ To be clear, I was not holding him up as a model father. The only people who can really speak to what kind of dad he was are his kids. And I’m sure his ex wife and his second wife had their own feelings and there’s whatever he felt himself. But mostly his own kids are the people who are the experts on that, in my opinion, anyway.
I had my own pretty crap dad if we’re gonna tell it like it is, which we are. Very selfish guy, really never got out of his own way long enough to love anyone else enough to put them ahead of his own bullshit. Especially his kids. Especially his wives. So you don’t have to convince me about the damage that causes.
I shared the clip because he’s talking about using your heartbreaks as fuel for your art. I think we’re all pretty heartbroken right now, and I think that’s always the best thing you can do with your pain, whatever the source of it. Try to understand yourself, have some compassion for the way the loss/grief/betrayal/outrage impacted/is impacting you, integrate it, and see if you can create something beautiful out of it. That’s why I shared the clip. That, and because I think he was a wonderful actor, and the circumstances around the way he, his second wife and one of their dogs died are just incredibly sad. And, I suppose, because I think you can make mistakes in life, even big ones, and maybe your mistakes are not the sum of you.
Anyway, I’m glad you mostly enjoyed this and all the Eagle musings. And I’m sending you a lot of love.
Well, yes pain does impact both your feelings and your actions. Taylor Swift certainly uses her personal life to create her music. And yes he was a very good actor.
It was not clear to me that it was two separate pieces. Also I had seen the other clip earlier today so it was fresh. The difference in demeanor was striking. He was crying about what his father did to him but dismissed his estrangement from his children almost with a wave of the hand and oh well.
It is sad that they were so disconnected from people that no one missed them for almost 2 weeks-and if the door had not been ajar, the-maintenance man would probably not have noticed.
You do realize that he was probably without food or water on the cold floor in the middle of February up in the mountains for the 5/7 days he outlived her. It was sad but also stupid. With their money they could hire someone to relieve part of the load. But it sounds like she would leave him home alone while she ran errands. People with Alzheimers or dementia tend to wander. I knew of one woman who went outside to see the pretty snow and froze because her caregiver had to leave her to spend the night at home.
But your eagles were absolutely fantastic … the birds are so majestic.
I’ve been driving my teenager around the entire day. I’m basically a glorified chauffeur today lol. I also slept terribly last night as I have been lately. So I may not be expressing myself eloquently right now, but if you have any doubt about whether we’re on the same page when it comes to selfish bastards who are also dads: https://open.substack.com/pub/allyhamilton/p/moving-violations?r=gcqpo&utm_medium=ios
So we are both going to connect and sympathize and understand that we get pulled in many directions. My daughter is a choice mom and about 20 years ago I blithely said that I would be her nanny. She took me at my word. This week, she and her best friend went to Istanbul to celebrate their 50th birthdays. I am home with 2 preteens. They are mostly good but they are still string willed preteens and I am old.
We will get through this although I fantasize about T and his cohorts drinking Jim Jones’ koolaide. They have to do it on their own so one gets accused of anything.
Peace and grace to you.
I am laughing about the Kool Aid. And your daughter is very lucky, and I hope she's having a fabulous birthday :) Preteens are a lot of work, so I'm sending you tons of love and solidarity.
Hi Ally, I had a look at the nest and it's pretty awesome! As for the rest of the post, and what I've read on my social media, I'm still in some strange disbelief. This feels as iif this was some strange Wonderland and the evil Queen would be going for everyone's heads.
I recently watched Gladiator 2 and during the first encounter with the evil Roman emperors and through the display of games where normal folks were enjoying brutal games as if it was TV made me think that despite technological advances human race quite frankly didn't change much in those let's say 2000 years.
And that's the problem I guess. It seems it was always in us as a race to never really be able to achieve peace utopia, harmony.
I guess that basically whole nature as it is is merciless and we might have tried to convince ourselves otherwise, but I'm beginning to simply wonder what the actual nature of human is. The greed and cruelty of some people out there is just evil. This is not even close to some of the random evil people ocassionally do, this is not just a homicide but more like "countrycide".
I wish you and your family all the best in these difficult times.
Namaste 🙏❤️
Yeah it’s hard to have a lot of faith at the moment, I understand. My feeling is there have probably always been people who solved their problems by bashing their neighbors over the head, and those who try to talk it out or bring some flowers lol. I really don’t know anymore. Except I like kind and thoughtful people and try to avoid the people who want to bash my head in. Hugs and love across the pond.
Just a reminder: Bernie Sanders is not now and never has been a Democrat. That may have something to do with his not behaving like a typical Democrat!
Yes, you are absolutely right, thank you for that ❤️
“Arrogant men will be the death of us.” Yes, I believe they will. Thank you, Ally. You have such a gift. I so appreciate your realness, and I always come away from your writing feeling better somehow than I did before reading it, be it feeling validated or enlightened or seen. There is so much in the world right now that is infuriating and scary and sad. Your writing feels like community. And thank you for mentioning Gene Hackman. He was always one of my favorite actors and brought so much raw authenticity to every role he played. Blessings to you ❤️
Sarah, thank you so much. I can’t even tell you what your comments mean to me, but they went straight to my heart. I might have to print them out. It’s been hard lately, I re-read and edit about 791 times because I feel like we’re all struggling and I don’t want to publish if it isn’t going to be helpful or comforting, at least on some level. So I thank you for this, from the bottom of my heart. And thank you for being here ♥️
Always 🫶
You are a brilliant writer. You really are. Damn.
I hope you have some idea how much it means to me for you to say that. Because obviously I feel the same about you. Thank you, Kate. I am so lucky you’re my friend.
I live up the road from you in Ojai, and the number of RFK fans here is extraordinary. Intelligent older women with graduate degrees and established professional careers just seem to switch their minds off when it comes to RFK and the woo-woo. I was writing away in the library one day recently, and a young itinerant guy started chatting up this woman of about my age who told him that she was a senior judge preparing to review property legislation for a major case. Within 10 minutes they were bonding over how Covid was fake, the vaccines killed people not Covid, the lockdown was a government plot to destroy business, it was all a hoax. By that point, I’d had enough, turned round, and told them that a) a million of their fellow Americans had died of Covid, and b) they were sitting in the quiet zone so they needed to shut up. He left in a huff and she apologised to me for the noise - but not for the stupidity. People have lost their minds.
It’s one of the most dizzying, depressing and disturbing parts of this nightmare, isn’t it? I watched so many people in the yoga and “wellness” community lose their minds during COVID and they are *still* talking about government overreach and this “untested” mandatory vaccine Biden made us take and all the people who were forced out of jobs if they refused to get it and “where was your outrage then?” And I’m like, oh, I was outraged lol. I was outraged you were putting people at risk by refusing to get vaccinated and comparing it to bodily autonomy and abortion rights. I was outraged you were telling people to use ivermectin and also buy your 30-day pranayama course with a special promo code for essential oils that would help people breathe if they were wheezing. I was outraged you were having dance parties for the unvaccinated. I was disgusted when you said you wanted to date “pure bloods” and not people who’d “gotten the jab” and I was really amazed when you decided to get on the fascism train if it meant you could have your “Bobby.”
I also have a bit of a personal issue in all this which is that my mom was diagnosed ALS while all this was going on. And a very close family member got caught up in the “do your own research on YouTube mania” and would not get vaccinated and was around her all the time. And then eventually, at the end when she was on a feeding tube, began adding things in addition to the formula. Things that were meant to be helpful, like turmeric and coconut oil, and extra water for hydration - things recommended on fucking YouTube - but accidentally diluted her sodium levels. That’s what put her in the hospital and she never came home.
This bullshit KILLS people. She was going to die, and in a way she suffered less because it sped everything up, but am I still furious? Yes. I haven’t written about it because I love this person and it is painful af and he meant well, he loved her, too. But the fucking arrogance and ignorance of thinking you know more than epidemiologists and scientists and people who’ve been studying pandemics and viruses and infectious disease all their lives is mind boggling.
Anyway, I thank you for being here. I could see the scene you set up there in Ojai. Absolutely wild times we’re living through. Sending you hugs from rainy Santa Monica ❤️🩹❤️🩹
"oh I was outraged lol" - yep, me too, white hot outraged, so outraged that I regularly had to walk into the forest behind our house and scream my heart out just to get it out of me. I still don't know how people can believe the most ridiculous shit like chem trails etc. - and then ALSO lack the imagination/curiosity to understand what thousands of people dying a day means, or how or why they died. Back then in, what was it, summer-autumn 2020, I was still in the UK where the appallingly inept and corrupt government response to the pandemic meant that 900+ people a day were dying of Covid. Why am I one of the few people who seems to understand that is the equivalent of two or three 747s crashing EVERY FUCKING DAY with no survivors?! And was I alone in feeling compelled EVERY FUCKING DAY to go for a walk and with each step count the dead, in tears at the distance it would take me? I will never forget where I was when I heard that they'd developed a vaccine, and how I cried, just overcome with sheer joy and gratitude for the scientists who had given us cause to do more than merely hope for survival.
I am so so sorry about the situation with your mom, Ally - that this was all mixed up in it, and that it's all mixed up with love for your family member too. What torture for the heart. But really 'do your own research' - as a tenured professor who's supervised dozens of PhD dissertations, I know this about research: it's not fucking watching YouTube videos.
Hugs back to you from equally rainy Ojai, where my British habit of going nowhere without an umbrella is finally paying off. ❤️❤️
It’s infuriating and exhausting and heartbreaking and all the things. Sometimes I feel like we slipped through a portal somewhere along the way or that we’re in the Twilight Zone. It all makes me so sad because time is short and this is all such a waste.
Thank you for your kind words about my mom. I am still unraveling all the feelings around that. I feel like we’ve all have so much trauma from these last 8 years. It is so good to have people who understand, though. And I’m sending you love and hugs. Thank you for being here ❤️
And thank you for your incredible writing - and for the camaraderie ❤️
It’s so hard to stomach this round, especially the cabinet of sycophant assholes. I wouldn’t let RFK Jr recommend a cough drop, I can’t wait to see what other old school diseases make a comeback. More eagle cam recommended 🦅♥️
Two cases of measles in CA now 😩 I’m going to take my own advice and get an antibody titer test just to see. I won’t be stopping for French fries on the way home, either. Absolute shit show, but I sure am grateful for all of you. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs from Santa Monica, and a lot of love, Eileen xx
Sending Chicago love. Grateful for your ever present spirit 🙌🏼❤️
Beautifully expressed Ally. I keep thinking it must be a fever dream. Something crazy is going to happen and those conned will wake up and join the good fight. Until then, make love, more art, and stay in the light.
I keep thinking that, too, because the alternative is too awful to bear. It really feels
like we exist in two different realities, it’s so hard to fathom how half of us could look at thee circumstances and draw one set of conclusions and the other half think it’s all fantastic. I’m oversimplifying and overstating but not by a lot. Anyway, I appreciate you and everyone here so much. And yes, more art, more love, more eagles, and chocolate also helps ❤️
Billy Ocean said "Get outta my dreams, get into my car," but if I'm in a car in the dream?
I just know Jenn should be driving.
Thanks for writing this. Hearts to you.
Hearts to you, too. And yeah, I have no idea what the Billy Ocean rules are in that case, but I will now have that song in my head for the rest of the day 🤣 Gen X forever.
Love to you and Jenn
Thanks Ally. The sound of that rushing wind is so cleansing. I'm going to check in with the eagles daily to reset. I think most of us are committed to restoring our democracy. It was flawed, but doesn't deserve to be eviscerated by the Republicans, who will never understand the question, "If I am for myself alone, what am I?"
It’s too bad they didn’t reject this man the minute he came down that escalator. It’s a Pandora’s Box that I wish we could close. Not suggesting the problems weren’t there to be exploited, just…feel like he has stoked the absolute worst in the worst of people. Heartbreaking to see, pointless to dwell on I suppose. Thank you for being here ❤️ Eagle check-ins for the win.
Pandora's box is a good analogy. She opened the box, but everyone suffered for her action. We can't forget hope though. 🧡
So poignant, Ally.
White tailed eagles have been reintroduced to our area of the UK in the past few years. No nest-cam, but whenever I see an update about them I'm straight on it. I want to know their progress and see them as a symbol of hope.
They really are extraordinary. It’s not like I haven’t appreciated that before now, but something about the nest cam really drove the point home. Last night there was a storm, it was snowing and the winds looked intense and I found myself crying watching Jackie (I think it was Jackie) protecting her chicks. No doubt I’m feeling everything intensely these days, but I think the break from all the insanity to see something so profound is giving me oxygen right now. Thanks for being here, Wendy, sending you lots of love ❤️
Oxygen, yes! Love to you, too. x
Thank you, Ally. ❤️
Thank you for being here, Brigid <3
That beautiful eagle, stalwart, protecting the clutch of chicks in the nest, in the dark with a storm blowing right now?! I can't even. 😭❤️ ❤️🦅
Isn’t it amazing? It does me in. It has to be freezing, but that is just steadfast love. I have to tell you, not everyone is as enamored or obsessed, but I find it so beautiful. I’m glad you do, too 🥹
Tonight was my first glimpse. 😊❤️
This post made me sad but I was already sad.
They really ARE the worst of us, every last one of them, lying to us, making shit up, ruining our country, and they’re wasting so much time and OUR MONEY on so many shitty things like taking people to Guantanamo in army planes and flying to Mar-a-Lago every goddamn weekend and jackhammering that plaza (why????). And EM is giving $100 million for WHAT??? Why doesn’t he donate it to the places that had to close their doors becuz he trashed USAID??
My heart is breaking for all the people who have been laid off and treated so disrespectfully. And it breaks for the ones left behind becuz man, I’m sure it’s good to still have a job ($) but imagine how shitty it is now?
And Ukraine… and Canada… and there are cops protecting the Tesla showroom in Chicago. I mean SERIOUSLY???
I need to go watch a bald eagle.
I know, Elle. Me, too. It’s very hard to take and very hard to keep the faith, I just know we have to - and when we’re struggling that’s when we need to help each other.
There are so many reasons to feel heartbroken and outraged every day and it just is not normal. I heard this woman from Ohio call into CSPAN today because she was worried about Social Security and she started crying, and it just broke me. Your government shouldn’t terrorize you every day.
And everyone deserves due process, my god. People just don’t seem to understand. But we have to take breaks and watch Bald Eagles or get outside or meet friends or read books because it’s not sustainable to be devastated 24/7. They want us to break. So we just have to be gentle with ourselves and keep filling the tank with good stuff, too.
I’m going to do a chat at some point tomorrow just to say hi and send some love. Come get some if you’re around ❤️ Sending you a lot of love and hugs in the meantime. Thank you for being here xx
I clicked on this article in hopes of reading the rest of the meme/message or at least to read about it in your article. I was disappointed that your article has nothing to do with it, which is misleading and reminiscent of MSM's use of clickbait.
Ally, when your story showed up on my feed, it was with a quote/meme attached that wasn't related to your story. Now. When I open your story, it's not there. Must've been a glitch.
I sincerely apologize.
Oh Elizabeth, it’s so okay. There have been some strange things happening on Substack lately, I think there was a huge influx of people after all the madness with tik tok and all the people leaving meta platforms, so there have been some glitches. I really hope they don’t start attaching memes or quotes to essays, though, hopefully that was just some anomaly. I would not be happy about that at all. But I’m very relieved to know it wasn’t my title that upset you, I really was confused and now I’m just laughing. So many other things to worry about. I’m very glad to meet you, and I hope we can be friends. This would be a good origin story 😆
Hi Elizabeth. Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. A huge part of this essay is about the Big Bear Bald Eagle Nest Cam. It's also about the mess in our government, and the Bald Eagle is is a national symbol of the United States. I can't see how this is a misrepresentation of what I wrote about or could be considered "clickbait" by anyone's standards. I have no interest in getting someone to "click" on an essay and then be pissed off. So...yeah. Not really what's happening here. Hope your day gets better. Came back to say I hope my day gets better, too. I suppose if you thought this was going to be about Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, then I can see why you would have been disappointed. I figured the eagle in the thumbnail and the fact that the first sentence was about the Bald Eagles in Big Bear would make it clear that's not where I was headed. It was about the mission that has been accomplished by these people wreaking havoc in Washington, and the way they have successfully thrown many of us into a state of despair. Which might be on display right here. Also, trying to find comfort where you can. Anyway, there are better things to argue about, but I was certainly not intending to mislead anyone. And I do wish you a good day. Take care x
Thank you for being here, Opa ❤️