This was so well written I got a tight feeling in my chest for a moment and had a little bit of your panic attack, Ally.
This brought unexpected memories of mom being hospitalized twice, when they kept people too long for having a premature baby or pneumonia. Children under 16 weren’t allowed in the hospital to visit. Of course, it once coincided with a mother daughter brownie meeting, as I looked around and saw that I was the only girl sitting by herself. I could feel the tears well up and I fought so hard to hide them. No one comforted me, nobody saw except one mother who only looked in my direction. I told the leader I was sick and had to go home. I felt so much better walking that half mile back than feeling like I didn’t belong somewhere without my mom.
Happy Birthday. My heart goes out to you and I’m so sorry you couldn’t hear or talk with your mother this year, either. I know she loves you and still, it’s never going to be the same way a birthday should be without your mom.
Thank you for posting this and also it hurts, I just realized that I’m lonely for mine, too.
Oh Laurie, the thought of you on that bench in your little Brownie uniform breaks my heart. And yes, it’s a strange and sad thing not to hear from the person who brought you into this world on the anniversary of that event. But I’m getting used to it. Sending you so much love as you’re missing your mom, and always 🤍
I read this three times and each time it just got more beautiful and more heartbreaking. I watched my dad die 8 months ago and our relationship was complicated and along with the grief there were a lot of other feelings too. I don’t miss him very often which makes me sad that we didn’t have the kind of relationship that would make him desperately miss him. On the other hand, I can’t imagine going through life without my mom even though I know it will happen probably sooner rather than later but I felt that panic that you were describing just thinking about it. Sending you love and thank you for writing this beautiful essay.
Thank you so much for your kind words and I’m sorry for your loss. I understand about your dad, it’s uncomfortable to lose a parent and not miss them. I think you end up mourning the relationship you never got to have, and that hurts too. Such a different experience with my mom. And such a tender time in life. Sending you hugs and love 🤍
Hey Ally, did I read right it's your birthday today? And is that 15th or 16th? Because mine was on 15th haha. Beautiful post, I promised myself to read more this year and I love your posts. I think they make me not just see you but it's as if in a roundabout way they are about me too. Not that I had same experiences but I totally get breaking of one's heart yet choosing love again and again until we cannot love anymore. There's a song that came to my mind now, Amy Macdonald - Run. See if you like it. Namaste. And thank you for being.
Hi Peter! Seems we share a birthday, I’m the 15th, too :) And thank you. I think the whole point of writing is to share in the human experience so we all feel less alone 🤍
Aww, then finding out we share birthday is a gift 😊 happy birthday then Ally. And I agree, that's the purpose of writing. Sending love to you and your family ❤️
This was so well written I got a tight feeling in my chest for a moment and had a little bit of your panic attack, Ally.
This brought unexpected memories of mom being hospitalized twice, when they kept people too long for having a premature baby or pneumonia. Children under 16 weren’t allowed in the hospital to visit. Of course, it once coincided with a mother daughter brownie meeting, as I looked around and saw that I was the only girl sitting by herself. I could feel the tears well up and I fought so hard to hide them. No one comforted me, nobody saw except one mother who only looked in my direction. I told the leader I was sick and had to go home. I felt so much better walking that half mile back than feeling like I didn’t belong somewhere without my mom.
Happy Birthday. My heart goes out to you and I’m so sorry you couldn’t hear or talk with your mother this year, either. I know she loves you and still, it’s never going to be the same way a birthday should be without your mom.
Thank you for posting this and also it hurts, I just realized that I’m lonely for mine, too.
Oh Laurie, the thought of you on that bench in your little Brownie uniform breaks my heart. And yes, it’s a strange and sad thing not to hear from the person who brought you into this world on the anniversary of that event. But I’m getting used to it. Sending you so much love as you’re missing your mom, and always 🤍
I read this three times and each time it just got more beautiful and more heartbreaking. I watched my dad die 8 months ago and our relationship was complicated and along with the grief there were a lot of other feelings too. I don’t miss him very often which makes me sad that we didn’t have the kind of relationship that would make him desperately miss him. On the other hand, I can’t imagine going through life without my mom even though I know it will happen probably sooner rather than later but I felt that panic that you were describing just thinking about it. Sending you love and thank you for writing this beautiful essay.
Thank you so much for your kind words and I’m sorry for your loss. I understand about your dad, it’s uncomfortable to lose a parent and not miss them. I think you end up mourning the relationship you never got to have, and that hurts too. Such a different experience with my mom. And such a tender time in life. Sending you hugs and love 🤍
Hey Ally, did I read right it's your birthday today? And is that 15th or 16th? Because mine was on 15th haha. Beautiful post, I promised myself to read more this year and I love your posts. I think they make me not just see you but it's as if in a roundabout way they are about me too. Not that I had same experiences but I totally get breaking of one's heart yet choosing love again and again until we cannot love anymore. There's a song that came to my mind now, Amy Macdonald - Run. See if you like it. Namaste. And thank you for being.
Hi Peter! Seems we share a birthday, I’m the 15th, too :) And thank you. I think the whole point of writing is to share in the human experience so we all feel less alone 🤍
Aww, then finding out we share birthday is a gift 😊 happy birthday then Ally. And I agree, that's the purpose of writing. Sending love to you and your family ❤️
Loved the song! ❤️