I'd like to see Kemp attend some tiny casket funerals as well. I'd like Ted Cruz to live with a family living below the poverty line. I'd love to see JD Vance take in at least 25 foster children born from "inconvenient" circumstances. Sorry, no time for that, gotta cash those checks.
Thank you for having the composure to write something personal and heartfelt and informative. For now I have only expletives %#^%&@#@*^&^#*&@^&*#@^&*@#^*&#^
I’m so tired of living this way. I I say a silent prayer over my kids every day. My heart fucking aches for parents who lose their children because of this insanity. It breaks regardless of the reason, but this, which is so unarguably preventable, fills me with rage and despair. I want ALL of these people voted out. How do we wake up in a world where the news is just horrific day after day and not have that take a tremendous toll? We just have to win in November, turn this ship in a much better direction, and get to work. The alternative is not something I can stomach. Sending you so much love. Thank god for all of you in the comments, seriously 🙏🏼🙏🏼🤍
If I had kids I would be losing my mind. But since I don’t and therefore I’M NOT INVESTED, I’m opting to spend my free time trying to dismantle their insanity every time I come across it. Even if it’s a waste of breath. Because guess what, JD, as someone who deals with the general public all the time, I’d prefer to deal with people who haven’t been subjected to years of PTSD from being afraid they’re going to be shot every time they leave the house. So that makes my life better, and last I checked my tax dollars are just as important as anyone else’s. PEACE OUT ✌️
Thank you for speaking out against gun violence. The mass shootings are why I can’t stomach the news much anymore. I survived being shot. There’s still a scar on my eyelid; I try to cover it up with my dark bangs so that people won’t see. My 1st funeral was age 14, because my friend was playing with an unlocked loaded gun with his older brother. It was a tiny casket. In college I was a preschool teacher at a university daycare. The class went into lockdown during an active shooter event. next door, an ex husband walked in to the architecture school with a gun, killed his ex wife, her new partner, and himself. The kids never knew what was happening. I’m with you. How can this happen? Why hasn’t anything changed since Sandy Hook? You’re right, it’s hell. Screw the system that hands out guns. Not only are there millions of people who died by gunfire, but there’s even more people who survived. The ones that thought they were dead, ghosts in the land of guns and money. I’m sorry for the loss of your cousin’s child. I’m grateful for your writing.
Jessica, I’m so sorry. The screen is blurry as I write back to you because my heart hurts reading what you shared and none of this is okay. It’s not normal to grow up in this environment and to sustain. And when you step back and realize there are people choosing this, that it doesn’t have to be this way and shouldn’t be this way, but for these people who value their 2nd amendment rights over everything else 🤷🏻♀️We’re asking for sane gun control laws ffs. It’s not a big ask, but it would save millions of lives. And instead they are dooming us all to a ridiculous hellscape of trauma and grief. It has to change, and we have to change it. And I hope you don’t feel the need to hide your scars for too much longer. Both the ones you can see and the ones you can’t. It’s so good that you’re here and that you survived even if it hurts like hell sometimes. And thank you for spending some of your time with me and with everyone here. I’m really grateful 🤍
Hi Ally, thank you for your compassionate, heartfelt reply. I hope that I didn’t overshare (I edited the comment quite a few times to try to limit more graphic details.) I felt safe sharing this story with you, because I feel like you get it, you’ve been through it, and I trust your empathetic nature. your powerful writing helps me to feel less alone, and your essay inspired me to speak up against gun violence in solidarity with you. I’m sorry if my comment is too much. I feel strongly that guns need to gtfo of our country. all out ban. Yet I have serious doubts about these detached politicians who care more about money and power than the lives of human beings, especially kids. Are guys like Kemp sociopaths? Are they just blinded by their insatiable lust for power and greed, regardless of dead bodies and tiny caskets? It breaks my heart. I’ve thought about going to City Hall to tell my story and advocate for gun reform, but then I worry that these cutthroat politicians are not even capable of making change or feeling empathy? When the US has more guns than people, wtf are we doing? I am sorry you lost people who you love. I’m sorry you suffered from male violence too. Often it’s the people who have been through the worst who have the biggest hearts. I’m grateful for your kind support and encouragement. I’m glad that I’m still here too. Let’s shine a light on the dark underbelly of violence that thrives in the shadows, in honor of the dead, the injured survivors like me, the walking ghosts in land of lawyers, guns, and money. Human lives matter. Speaking up matters. Thank you for helping me feel safe to talk about this painful stuff. I feel lucky to be able to read your poignant writing that comes from the heart.
Oh my gosh, it was not “too much” at all. Please don’t ever worry about that. I want everyone here to feel safe to share if they want to. I appreciate your trust and I do not take it lightly. I tend to think the people who’ve been through some things and know what it is to be on the heartbreaking and awful end of violence find one another - and I think that’s a very good and healing thing 🤍
Thank you Ally. I didn’t know in 1968 what a revolutionary act my Dad performed when he very angrily resigned from the NRA. When he was a young boy, he learned to shoot at targets from veterans of World War I and his outstanding marksmanship got him a scholarship to Cal.
He was tired of the assassinations and the NRA’s lack of response and our government’s complicity. I don’t think he could imagine getting as bad as it is.
I love this, Susan. I don't know how anyone can look at what's happening right now and refuse to acknowledge we have a serious problem here that other first world countries do not, and we need to act. This is not hard. And if your dad was disillusioned in 1968, it is hard to imagine how he'd feel now. The whole thing is unimaginable, but I'm very grateful for people like you. Love you <3
Heartbreaking..to read and hear about one more person dying by a child going on a shooting rampage because it's easier for them to get a gun in this f'ing country than to get mental healthcare! And sick and tired of the politicians that don't give a sh*t about our children or our teachers to do anything about it. Just fking absurd! UGH
It really does me in. I haven’t slept much the last couple of nights. None of us should “become adjusted” to this or accept it as a way of life. Having school-age kids in this environment is so hard. These people need to be voted out. I’m so glad the dad has been arrested though. I hope he spends the rest of his life behind bars. This feels like some kind of progress, at least. If we can’t get sane gun control laws passed (and I hope we can) at least this is a message that if you leave unsecured weapons around or BUY THEM for your mentally unstable kid, you’re going to jail. About fucking time.
Absolutely! That was the one positive news that we got yesterday. If you’re completely checked out as a parent and don’t know or care what your teenager is up to, the least you can do is lock up your guns!
You’d think if the FBI showed up and investigated whether your child had threatened to shoot up his school, if you’d said he doesn’t have access to unsecured weapons…the very LAST thing you’d do is turn around and buy him a gun. So I hope the dad spends the rest of his sorry life in jail and I hope they cover the walls of his cell with the faces of the people who are no longer here because of him, along with all the people who love those people and will never be the same without them. I hope he has to stew in what he’s done for all the remaining days of his life.
This was hard to read. My heart ached for so many. I'm a teacher and a parent and like everyone, these things are absolutely terrifying and heart breaking. I was in my car just yesterday listening to NPR, and when they mentioned that Democrats are pushing for gun reform but republicans gave the tired old response of "now is not the time for politics" I screamed. Thank you for writing this.
It's NEVER the right day to talk about it. I think that is the snakiest response possible and it makes me sick to my stomach with rage. And it IS politics causing these deaths. It's politicians in the pocket of the gun lobby, so yes, the days when tragedy strikes as a result (which is most days at this point) are exactly the right days to talk about it. I am glad to see the father arrested, that feels like some kind of small progress at least. Thank you for being here and thank you for teaching in an environment where you should be a lot more protected than you are. I hope with my entire heart we get it together.
Yes, and I think they deflect and gaslight so people don't ask the harder questions. I would love JUST ONCE for a reporter to call out, "How do you justify taking 50k in campaign contributions from a gun manufacturer? How is that not a conflict of interest?" Because they ALL do it. And that should be part of the mainstream conversation.
Oh Emma, I’m so very sorry. And I’m sending you and Julia so much love. I’m sure you have good people in your life, but if you ever need a little extra support or are having a tough day, please message me, truly 🤍
Feeling sad reading your piece, Ally. Every school shooting in the US makes me wonder why? Yes, violence can happen without guns (I’m in the UK and there are stories of knife crime), but I don’t just get the reverence for gun ownership.
And yes, also sad thinking about the tiny white coffin of my son Otto, who was stillborn at term in August 2000. I’m very lucky to have four grown children, but I never forget him.
Oh Wendy, I am in instant tears thinking about your little Otto and the absolutely devastating loss you've endured. My heart hurts thinking of you living through that experience.
I remember learning about michrochimerism somewhere along the way...this phenomenon in utero where some of the baby's DNA moves through the placenta and becomes part of the mother's DNA, and how they find michrochimeric cells in the mother's body and brain decades later. I find this comforting, maybe you will, also.
I think this is the thing - enduring the loss of a child is so painful. When there are ways to prevent more people from having to go through that, and more children from dying needlessly and we do nothing? I just can't understand it. And it fills me with rage and despair. Hopefully we will get it together over here.
Sending you so much love. Thank you for being here.
My very beloved aunt (long departed from this world) lost her firstborn, Joey. She later had three children, but Joey was with her constantly. I had the good fortune to visit her a few weeks before her death (in her late 80’s) and we spoke of him.
I’m glad you gave her a chance to talk about Joey at the end of her life. I think so many people don’t know how to make space for other people’s grief. Love to you, your beloved aunt and her Joey. Thank you for being here 🤍
Thanks for sharing about your aunt and Joey,,Diane. My late aunt also had a stillborn baby girl, Alison, in 1969. She never talked about her until after my own experience with Otto, when she finally told me what it had been like, not allowed to see or hold her. Buried in an unmarked grave. She didn’t have any other children. She said she had wanted to try again - ´You want to replace what you’ve lost’ - but her husband didn’t want to ‘put her through any more pain’. I was glad she talked to me about it late in her life.
Oh that hurts my heart, Wendy. Absolutely gutting to think she didn’t get to hold Alison or talk about her or visit her. I’m so sorry she opened up to you because you went through it with Otto, but my gosh I can’t imagine carrying all that grief and never talking about it. Sending you so much love. Thank you for sharing 🤍
Thank you Ally. I was really pleased she talked to me about it. I remembered the anticipation of a little cousin back in ‘69 and how sad my mum was for her sister. So I felt honoured that my aunt shared the memory with me all those years later. I didn’t want to forget Otto either, so the conversation was really special.
Reading your words, sat here in the UK, sobbing. For every child, every parent, family, friends - this epidemic touches you all in one way or another. I hear the news of yet another school shooting, on Twitter usually, and I can’t not be affected. I’m so sorry that your politicians & money-grabbing gun nuts are letting your children be acceptable targets if it means they have more money. Is there a possibility of change? The UK had one school shooting & changed gun laws. There are no words to offer comfort, but thank you for sharing the raw emotional impact. I hate this f*cking world sometimes.
I mean, this is the thing, right? It's a normal response to see this and be horrified and devastated and instantly want to fix it so it never happens again, but not here! I hold my head in my hands and sob over this issue more than anything else. And I hope there is a possibility for change and I *think* there is. We need to get money out of politics. Politicians shouldn't be allowed to accept campaign contributions that would be considered a conflict of interest and a bribe (because they are) in any other scenario.
Seeing the father get arrested in this case also gives me some hope. Anyone with unsecured, loaded weapons in the house should be liable, charged, and arrested when people die as a result of their negligence and recklessness. I hope he goes away for a long time. Aside from that, the reality is this has become a bipartisan issue which is astounding to me. But voting blue up and down ballot is the only way I can see real change coming quickly. All we're asking for is sane gun legislation - red flag laws, background checks, the same level of difficulty buying a gun as getting your drivers' license. No one is saying you can't have a gun in your house if you want one and are going to be responsible with it. No one is saying you can't hunt if you're going to keep your rifle secured in the house. You'd think this would be an issue where we could come together, but no.
Anyway, thank you for your compassion. Sometimes I think I might be too sensitive for this world. It doesn't matter to me *where* horrific things are happening and human beings are suffering, it matters *that* they're happening. But I think in all reality, this is exactly what we need. We need to be weeping for people who are hurting, whether we're directly affected or not, because the truth is, we always are directly affected. And wanting to reach out and try to help is the only thing that will ever save us. Thank you for being here, and sending you a lot of love.
I just cannot understand why anyone wouldn’t want to tighten gun legislation. To me, it makes zero sense - why would you want to let children (& adults) be slaughtered because of this laxity? Why would you want to profit off that? It’s appalling. I do hope that changes are made, and soon. Other countries in the world care about this too, for all of you. 🙏🏼
I must say, after the horrible event I thought you might write something about it. Even though I'm not in the US, this affects me, because every time thing like this happens, I get more cynical about the world and recently I've read an essay how dangerous it is to get cynical, it's contagious and almost like a cancer to our minds.
Shortly after I read that news came about a man, ex boyfriend of an Olympic runner, who set her on fire and with the previous sadness over death of Gaudreau brothers I got to a point where I just thought "What the fuck is wrong with the world!"
These things don't impact me directly, but I felt really low, I guess whatever faith I had as a child, perhaps something my daughter still has, is almost gone. I have many favourite people, people I love, but if I'm brutally honest, we as species are truly a virus as described by Agent Smith in The Matrix.
And here you can see how the cynicism is getting better of me, because quite frankly, where is the proof of that not being the case?
On the other hand though, I felt some sense of relief or redemption reading your essay. Not that you managed to change anything that's fucked up in the world, but I felt I'm not alone in my rage and "darkness".
So once again, I would love to express my gratitude and thank you for speaking your truth. Unfortunately I have to keep my cynicism at bay, because it can take over, but fortunately, you help me with that so I guess it's still OK.
Hi Peter. Yes, this was a very rough week in the news. The horrific murder of Rebecca Cheptegei by her ex boyfriend, the despicable Dominique Pelicot who drugged and raped his wife for a decade and invited 80 other men to rape her as well, the school shooting...it is enough to make you give up on humanity. When I start to feel a glimmer of that feeling, though, I remind myself of what I learned from Mr. Rogers when I was a kid. I swear that man raised me. He said: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'"
For as many horrendous people as there are in this world, I believe in my heart there are more helpers. And helpers don't always make the news because sometimes they're just going about their business helping in small but meaningful ways that would never create click-bait. Most people want a kind and peaceful world, I feel sure of that. We just don't have enough of those people in power, and that's the part we need to change.
Thank you Steve. I appreciate you, too. You all mean the world to me. Not sure what I’d do without these incredible comments and this conversation and community. Y’all are keeping me sane 🤍🙏🏼
Yes, we are indeed keeping one another sane… in a world that appears less sane daily. I have always looked for the good, so: tears, sadness, and then the following: what can I do to keep from becoming disheartened? And communicating with good people who speak the truth is always a part of that.
I'd like to see Kemp attend some tiny casket funerals as well. I'd like Ted Cruz to live with a family living below the poverty line. I'd love to see JD Vance take in at least 25 foster children born from "inconvenient" circumstances. Sorry, no time for that, gotta cash those checks.
Thank you for having the composure to write something personal and heartfelt and informative. For now I have only expletives %#^%&@#@*^&^#*&@^&*#@^&*@#^*&#^
I’m so tired of living this way. I I say a silent prayer over my kids every day. My heart fucking aches for parents who lose their children because of this insanity. It breaks regardless of the reason, but this, which is so unarguably preventable, fills me with rage and despair. I want ALL of these people voted out. How do we wake up in a world where the news is just horrific day after day and not have that take a tremendous toll? We just have to win in November, turn this ship in a much better direction, and get to work. The alternative is not something I can stomach. Sending you so much love. Thank god for all of you in the comments, seriously 🙏🏼🙏🏼🤍
If I had kids I would be losing my mind. But since I don’t and therefore I’M NOT INVESTED, I’m opting to spend my free time trying to dismantle their insanity every time I come across it. Even if it’s a waste of breath. Because guess what, JD, as someone who deals with the general public all the time, I’d prefer to deal with people who haven’t been subjected to years of PTSD from being afraid they’re going to be shot every time they leave the house. So that makes my life better, and last I checked my tax dollars are just as important as anyone else’s. PEACE OUT ✌️
same
Thank you for speaking out against gun violence. The mass shootings are why I can’t stomach the news much anymore. I survived being shot. There’s still a scar on my eyelid; I try to cover it up with my dark bangs so that people won’t see. My 1st funeral was age 14, because my friend was playing with an unlocked loaded gun with his older brother. It was a tiny casket. In college I was a preschool teacher at a university daycare. The class went into lockdown during an active shooter event. next door, an ex husband walked in to the architecture school with a gun, killed his ex wife, her new partner, and himself. The kids never knew what was happening. I’m with you. How can this happen? Why hasn’t anything changed since Sandy Hook? You’re right, it’s hell. Screw the system that hands out guns. Not only are there millions of people who died by gunfire, but there’s even more people who survived. The ones that thought they were dead, ghosts in the land of guns and money. I’m sorry for the loss of your cousin’s child. I’m grateful for your writing.
Jessica, I’m so sorry. The screen is blurry as I write back to you because my heart hurts reading what you shared and none of this is okay. It’s not normal to grow up in this environment and to sustain. And when you step back and realize there are people choosing this, that it doesn’t have to be this way and shouldn’t be this way, but for these people who value their 2nd amendment rights over everything else 🤷🏻♀️We’re asking for sane gun control laws ffs. It’s not a big ask, but it would save millions of lives. And instead they are dooming us all to a ridiculous hellscape of trauma and grief. It has to change, and we have to change it. And I hope you don’t feel the need to hide your scars for too much longer. Both the ones you can see and the ones you can’t. It’s so good that you’re here and that you survived even if it hurts like hell sometimes. And thank you for spending some of your time with me and with everyone here. I’m really grateful 🤍
Hi Ally, thank you for your compassionate, heartfelt reply. I hope that I didn’t overshare (I edited the comment quite a few times to try to limit more graphic details.) I felt safe sharing this story with you, because I feel like you get it, you’ve been through it, and I trust your empathetic nature. your powerful writing helps me to feel less alone, and your essay inspired me to speak up against gun violence in solidarity with you. I’m sorry if my comment is too much. I feel strongly that guns need to gtfo of our country. all out ban. Yet I have serious doubts about these detached politicians who care more about money and power than the lives of human beings, especially kids. Are guys like Kemp sociopaths? Are they just blinded by their insatiable lust for power and greed, regardless of dead bodies and tiny caskets? It breaks my heart. I’ve thought about going to City Hall to tell my story and advocate for gun reform, but then I worry that these cutthroat politicians are not even capable of making change or feeling empathy? When the US has more guns than people, wtf are we doing? I am sorry you lost people who you love. I’m sorry you suffered from male violence too. Often it’s the people who have been through the worst who have the biggest hearts. I’m grateful for your kind support and encouragement. I’m glad that I’m still here too. Let’s shine a light on the dark underbelly of violence that thrives in the shadows, in honor of the dead, the injured survivors like me, the walking ghosts in land of lawyers, guns, and money. Human lives matter. Speaking up matters. Thank you for helping me feel safe to talk about this painful stuff. I feel lucky to be able to read your poignant writing that comes from the heart.
Oh my gosh, it was not “too much” at all. Please don’t ever worry about that. I want everyone here to feel safe to share if they want to. I appreciate your trust and I do not take it lightly. I tend to think the people who’ve been through some things and know what it is to be on the heartbreaking and awful end of violence find one another - and I think that’s a very good and healing thing 🤍
Thank you Ally. I didn’t know in 1968 what a revolutionary act my Dad performed when he very angrily resigned from the NRA. When he was a young boy, he learned to shoot at targets from veterans of World War I and his outstanding marksmanship got him a scholarship to Cal.
He was tired of the assassinations and the NRA’s lack of response and our government’s complicity. I don’t think he could imagine getting as bad as it is.
Thank you for speaking out
So eloquently. Enough. Is. Enough.
I love this, Susan. I don't know how anyone can look at what's happening right now and refuse to acknowledge we have a serious problem here that other first world countries do not, and we need to act. This is not hard. And if your dad was disillusioned in 1968, it is hard to imagine how he'd feel now. The whole thing is unimaginable, but I'm very grateful for people like you. Love you <3
Heartbreaking..to read and hear about one more person dying by a child going on a shooting rampage because it's easier for them to get a gun in this f'ing country than to get mental healthcare! And sick and tired of the politicians that don't give a sh*t about our children or our teachers to do anything about it. Just fking absurd! UGH
It really does me in. I haven’t slept much the last couple of nights. None of us should “become adjusted” to this or accept it as a way of life. Having school-age kids in this environment is so hard. These people need to be voted out. I’m so glad the dad has been arrested though. I hope he spends the rest of his life behind bars. This feels like some kind of progress, at least. If we can’t get sane gun control laws passed (and I hope we can) at least this is a message that if you leave unsecured weapons around or BUY THEM for your mentally unstable kid, you’re going to jail. About fucking time.
Absolutely! That was the one positive news that we got yesterday. If you’re completely checked out as a parent and don’t know or care what your teenager is up to, the least you can do is lock up your guns!
You’d think if the FBI showed up and investigated whether your child had threatened to shoot up his school, if you’d said he doesn’t have access to unsecured weapons…the very LAST thing you’d do is turn around and buy him a gun. So I hope the dad spends the rest of his sorry life in jail and I hope they cover the walls of his cell with the faces of the people who are no longer here because of him, along with all the people who love those people and will never be the same without them. I hope he has to stew in what he’s done for all the remaining days of his life.
This was hard to read. My heart ached for so many. I'm a teacher and a parent and like everyone, these things are absolutely terrifying and heart breaking. I was in my car just yesterday listening to NPR, and when they mentioned that Democrats are pushing for gun reform but republicans gave the tired old response of "now is not the time for politics" I screamed. Thank you for writing this.
It's NEVER the right day to talk about it. I think that is the snakiest response possible and it makes me sick to my stomach with rage. And it IS politics causing these deaths. It's politicians in the pocket of the gun lobby, so yes, the days when tragedy strikes as a result (which is most days at this point) are exactly the right days to talk about it. I am glad to see the father arrested, that feels like some kind of small progress at least. Thank you for being here and thank you for teaching in an environment where you should be a lot more protected than you are. I hope with my entire heart we get it together.
Plus gun reform/legislation is NOT politics! It’s common sense! I don’t know why they can’t see that. I think they like the chaos. 😡
Yes, and I think they deflect and gaslight so people don't ask the harder questions. I would love JUST ONCE for a reporter to call out, "How do you justify taking 50k in campaign contributions from a gun manufacturer? How is that not a conflict of interest?" Because they ALL do it. And that should be part of the mainstream conversation.
Julia
my daughter who died
Thank you for asking for her name
♥️
Oh Emma, I’m so very sorry. And I’m sending you and Julia so much love. I’m sure you have good people in your life, but if you ever need a little extra support or are having a tough day, please message me, truly 🤍
Feeling sad reading your piece, Ally. Every school shooting in the US makes me wonder why? Yes, violence can happen without guns (I’m in the UK and there are stories of knife crime), but I don’t just get the reverence for gun ownership.
And yes, also sad thinking about the tiny white coffin of my son Otto, who was stillborn at term in August 2000. I’m very lucky to have four grown children, but I never forget him.
Oh Wendy, I am in instant tears thinking about your little Otto and the absolutely devastating loss you've endured. My heart hurts thinking of you living through that experience.
I remember learning about michrochimerism somewhere along the way...this phenomenon in utero where some of the baby's DNA moves through the placenta and becomes part of the mother's DNA, and how they find michrochimeric cells in the mother's body and brain decades later. I find this comforting, maybe you will, also.
I think this is the thing - enduring the loss of a child is so painful. When there are ways to prevent more people from having to go through that, and more children from dying needlessly and we do nothing? I just can't understand it. And it fills me with rage and despair. Hopefully we will get it together over here.
Sending you so much love. Thank you for being here.
Thank you, Ally. Yes, I remember reading something about that as well and the different ways we live on. Everyone is stardust!
Thanks for your writing. Always full of empathy, interest and courage. Love to you too.
My very beloved aunt (long departed from this world) lost her firstborn, Joey. She later had three children, but Joey was with her constantly. I had the good fortune to visit her a few weeks before her death (in her late 80’s) and we spoke of him.
I’m glad you gave her a chance to talk about Joey at the end of her life. I think so many people don’t know how to make space for other people’s grief. Love to you, your beloved aunt and her Joey. Thank you for being here 🤍
You are so generous of spirit. Whenever I encounter this quality, I’m more able to express myself.
Thank you so much. That made me cry (in a good way) xx
Thanks for sharing about your aunt and Joey,,Diane. My late aunt also had a stillborn baby girl, Alison, in 1969. She never talked about her until after my own experience with Otto, when she finally told me what it had been like, not allowed to see or hold her. Buried in an unmarked grave. She didn’t have any other children. She said she had wanted to try again - ´You want to replace what you’ve lost’ - but her husband didn’t want to ‘put her through any more pain’. I was glad she talked to me about it late in her life.
Oh that hurts my heart, Wendy. Absolutely gutting to think she didn’t get to hold Alison or talk about her or visit her. I’m so sorry she opened up to you because you went through it with Otto, but my gosh I can’t imagine carrying all that grief and never talking about it. Sending you so much love. Thank you for sharing 🤍
Thank you Ally. I was really pleased she talked to me about it. I remembered the anticipation of a little cousin back in ‘69 and how sad my mum was for her sister. So I felt honoured that my aunt shared the memory with me all those years later. I didn’t want to forget Otto either, so the conversation was really special.
Isn’t it amazing (and sad) how long it takes us to open up about the most important moments of our lives.
Reading your words, sat here in the UK, sobbing. For every child, every parent, family, friends - this epidemic touches you all in one way or another. I hear the news of yet another school shooting, on Twitter usually, and I can’t not be affected. I’m so sorry that your politicians & money-grabbing gun nuts are letting your children be acceptable targets if it means they have more money. Is there a possibility of change? The UK had one school shooting & changed gun laws. There are no words to offer comfort, but thank you for sharing the raw emotional impact. I hate this f*cking world sometimes.
I mean, this is the thing, right? It's a normal response to see this and be horrified and devastated and instantly want to fix it so it never happens again, but not here! I hold my head in my hands and sob over this issue more than anything else. And I hope there is a possibility for change and I *think* there is. We need to get money out of politics. Politicians shouldn't be allowed to accept campaign contributions that would be considered a conflict of interest and a bribe (because they are) in any other scenario.
Seeing the father get arrested in this case also gives me some hope. Anyone with unsecured, loaded weapons in the house should be liable, charged, and arrested when people die as a result of their negligence and recklessness. I hope he goes away for a long time. Aside from that, the reality is this has become a bipartisan issue which is astounding to me. But voting blue up and down ballot is the only way I can see real change coming quickly. All we're asking for is sane gun legislation - red flag laws, background checks, the same level of difficulty buying a gun as getting your drivers' license. No one is saying you can't have a gun in your house if you want one and are going to be responsible with it. No one is saying you can't hunt if you're going to keep your rifle secured in the house. You'd think this would be an issue where we could come together, but no.
Anyway, thank you for your compassion. Sometimes I think I might be too sensitive for this world. It doesn't matter to me *where* horrific things are happening and human beings are suffering, it matters *that* they're happening. But I think in all reality, this is exactly what we need. We need to be weeping for people who are hurting, whether we're directly affected or not, because the truth is, we always are directly affected. And wanting to reach out and try to help is the only thing that will ever save us. Thank you for being here, and sending you a lot of love.
I just cannot understand why anyone wouldn’t want to tighten gun legislation. To me, it makes zero sense - why would you want to let children (& adults) be slaughtered because of this laxity? Why would you want to profit off that? It’s appalling. I do hope that changes are made, and soon. Other countries in the world care about this too, for all of you. 🙏🏼
Hi Ally,
I must say, after the horrible event I thought you might write something about it. Even though I'm not in the US, this affects me, because every time thing like this happens, I get more cynical about the world and recently I've read an essay how dangerous it is to get cynical, it's contagious and almost like a cancer to our minds.
Shortly after I read that news came about a man, ex boyfriend of an Olympic runner, who set her on fire and with the previous sadness over death of Gaudreau brothers I got to a point where I just thought "What the fuck is wrong with the world!"
These things don't impact me directly, but I felt really low, I guess whatever faith I had as a child, perhaps something my daughter still has, is almost gone. I have many favourite people, people I love, but if I'm brutally honest, we as species are truly a virus as described by Agent Smith in The Matrix.
And here you can see how the cynicism is getting better of me, because quite frankly, where is the proof of that not being the case?
On the other hand though, I felt some sense of relief or redemption reading your essay. Not that you managed to change anything that's fucked up in the world, but I felt I'm not alone in my rage and "darkness".
So once again, I would love to express my gratitude and thank you for speaking your truth. Unfortunately I have to keep my cynicism at bay, because it can take over, but fortunately, you help me with that so I guess it's still OK.
All the best to you and your family as always.
Namaste 🙏
Hi Peter. Yes, this was a very rough week in the news. The horrific murder of Rebecca Cheptegei by her ex boyfriend, the despicable Dominique Pelicot who drugged and raped his wife for a decade and invited 80 other men to rape her as well, the school shooting...it is enough to make you give up on humanity. When I start to feel a glimmer of that feeling, though, I remind myself of what I learned from Mr. Rogers when I was a kid. I swear that man raised me. He said: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'"
For as many horrendous people as there are in this world, I believe in my heart there are more helpers. And helpers don't always make the news because sometimes they're just going about their business helping in small but meaningful ways that would never create click-bait. Most people want a kind and peaceful world, I feel sure of that. We just don't have enough of those people in power, and that's the part we need to change.
Sending love to you and Anneke.
Thank you for this post, Ally.
Thank you for being here, David 🤍
So powerful, Ally. I appreciate you. I appreciate your work.
Thank you Steve. I appreciate you, too. You all mean the world to me. Not sure what I’d do without these incredible comments and this conversation and community. Y’all are keeping me sane 🤍🙏🏼
Yes, we are indeed keeping one another sane… in a world that appears less sane daily. I have always looked for the good, so: tears, sadness, and then the following: what can I do to keep from becoming disheartened? And communicating with good people who speak the truth is always a part of that.