I went to see It’s a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve — they play it on the big screen at a theater near us every year — and if that film fails to put you in the holiday spirit you probably have to give up for the season and try again next year.
Oh Ally! You’re the only other person I know who uses the term ‘Jesus wept!’ when they’re really frustrated with the stupidities that abound all around us. I grew up in the south in the 60’s as a white person of privilege and yes there were times when I felt embarrassed that the little brown children had to take another bus to (a ‘different’ was told) school. I was also pleased to sit beside them in band class when our school was desegregated. The crass and ignorant farm kids were the only ones that threw spit balls at the ‘N-word’ kids, or negroes, as I was taught to call them then. When I was shipped away to high school in the Alfred I du Pont school district in Wilmington, Delaware, I was shocked to see the northern schools were still segregated in the 1970s. How could that be? And they thought I was a hick.
This is why it is absolutely insane to ban books and have an administration threaten to withhold federal funding from schools across the country unless they agree to teach an approved curriculum that does not include Critical Race Theory, aka actual American History. SMH. Jesus wept indeed. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being here ❤️🩹❤️
I saved your newsletter for this morning and I'm so glad I did. As always you're spot on expressing, in your own colorful way, everything I'm feeling. I, too, LOVED Mr. Rogers. My son, as a toddler was mesmerized by him, although I'm not sure he understood the importance of Mr.Rogers' words at the time. He is now a grown man with his own children and on his last birthday I gifted him with a book, The World According to Mr. Rogers. He gave me that smile, that I recognized from when he was a toddler, and I knew he appreciated the gift. Yesterday we took the family to MSG for the Cirque du Soleil Christmas show {amazing amazing amazing} and it was the first time I felt even a twinge of the usual Christmas magic in New York. The whole season has been "off" and I feel like I'm just going through the motions. But seeing my grandchildren's faces, astounded at the feats happening on stage made my heart happy. It didn't last long. My heart breaks for them if we don't fix our country soon. I feel the cracks, in the current administration, but it's not shattering fast enough for all the damage that has been done in less than a year. I feel so sad for all of us. My grandchildren, whose future is uncertain. For people my age, retired and ready to live their best lives, that they worked so hard to earn. And for everyone in between who are just going through the motions, experiencing happy times, but feeling like something is missing, walking around with a black cloud overhead. The people I just described are privileged ones! The ones not DIRECTLY impacted by the cruelty that this administration so blatantly seems to enjoy. Not impacted at this moment, but who knows about tomorrow? Sometimes I feel helpless to do anything, but small acts help. I let someone go ahead of me in a grocery line that has a small impatient child with them, I let someone cut ahead when I'm driving, I compliment strangers on just about anything to see them smile, it all helps me feel 'normal'. I can't believe my last years are being spent this way ~ the stupidity, the incompetence, the cruelty. More than anything I'm so sad.
I felt every single word of this in my bones, Debra. I agree many of us are in this same state of being. Heartbroken, scared, astounded so many people are still on board with the cruelty and not seeing the big picture…all of it. It is unfathomable and unthinkable. If I didn’t have kids I don’t know that I could have or would have found the energy for the holidays but I was gonna be damned if I let them steal that kind of joy from my kids. And I do think the foundation is cracking. I do think there are people who voted for this who now regret it. I have felt reassured with every special election that we are going to turn this around. But getting them out is only the first step. There’s so much work to do to make sure this never happens again and to figure out how to begin to repair. One step at a time I guess. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much. I’m glad you were able to find some moments of joy. I’m glad you gave your grandkids that magic. I’m glad there are people like you in the world, it makes me know we will be okay. We will be okay. We will.
I LOVE Harvey. I first saw it as a play in my local college, maybe age 8 and fell in love with Jimmy’s character. One line of his is something I have taken to heart in my daily life:
“In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.”
I know it is not the center piece of your piece, and (as always) I agree with each of your central points. the theme of Harvey, that being kind and nice is not a weakness or fault, has always stuck with me and this world would likely be a better place if kindness and compassion replaced greed and consumption.
(i also guess i have a thing for (possibly) imaginary animal friends —pantoufle, Anouk’s imaginary kangaroo in Chocolate is also one of my favorite movie characters)
Heyyy seven sisters shout-out! I knew we were related! 😊 (I'm a Smith grad) And may I say, it really checks out - you've got that women's college unapologetic-ness and I love that for you
I mean, we are kindred. It was kind of obvious. But the unapologetic part was hard-won and it came later than it feels like it should have? Or I guess it showed up when I was ready to own it, but wow. It’s so much easier this way and I wish I’d owned it a lot sooner! Would have saved me so much energy. Hugs and love and all the good things, Cody. So happy and grateful to know you ❤️
Yeah I get that, I'm very much still working on it! Grateful to know you too, and to be able to read your unapologetic-ness on the page. It's helping me shape my own 💜
Hi Ally, I'm sorry I missed good few posts! I'm not sure why, I'll catch up on them hopefully in the upcoming days off!
Anyway, I'd love to wish you and your a good end of the 2025, although I don't think it was a good year at all. I rated in 6.5 out of 10 for myself so you can see it barely made it out of the bottom half, but globally, given situation with USA, Slovakia, Ukraine and many other countries, it's been a shitshow quite frankly!
On the other hand, just yesterday Anneke made me exceptionally proud of her, her kindness, maturity and just being a wonderful daughter, I've enjoyed your essays and my Mexican friend kept me informed about the world of music and fed good stories and also no one dear has died.
I totally agree with you and I must admit being raised Christian only to witness the level of obscenity thatsome so called Christians are capable of makes me ashamed. I would say it seems it's not Jesus's fault really, I'm pretty sure he'd be pretty upset about it too.
Anyway, I don't know how 2026 can be better but let's fucking hope so...
Oh Peter, no worries! I am barely keeping up with the things that have to get done. Just accepting that I’m doing the best I can and going at the pace I can manage and that’s all I can do! The essays are not going anywhere 😁
And yes, it is hard to feel overly hopeful that 2026 is going to be magical, but I bet it will have some surprises in store and I’m going to trust at least some of them will be good. The other thing I have realized is having community is incredibly helpful. It really is.
Knowing other people are equally appalled and heartbroken and enraged and wanting things to be better than this — and are willing to do anything to try to help is…a lot.
So, I am holding onto that, and I have faith that there are more of us who don’t want this cruelty than those who do, and that we will keep fighting the good fight.
Love to you and Anneke ❤️ and wishes for a healthy 2026 xo
Mr Roger’s talked about human feelings. He listened to children’s fears and responded. I remember an episode where he asked children if they were afraid they would go down the drain when the water left the tub. The children I was with responded by nodding their little heads. I was amazed. Unaware they had that fear. He
then reassured them they wouldn’t, while I sat thinking how much of childhood we forget as we age
I think that was his gift. He didn’t forget what it was like to be a child in this world, how scary and confusing it could be, and he spoke from that place. Always with so much respect and understanding. I get teary when I think about the comfort he gave just to me, let alone the millions of us he comforted over the years. Absolute national treasure. Thanks for being here, Kathleen, and for sharing that story. It reminded me of how scared I was to sit on the toilet after I saw JAWS when I was seven! I felt sure a baby shark could come up the pipes and bite my butt, or swallow me whole. Sorry for my not very “poetic” memory, but that is what came to mind 😂
Ally, though I know there's no deadline on reading here, I have to admit that when I get to a piece a week after it's launched, then review the comments before responding, I'm often left with the inclination to wave my arms and shout, "WHAT THEY SAID!" Thank you for always managing to find the words to express the frustration I feel.
What resonated most for me in this was the reminder that figures like Fred Rogers and George Bailey served as models of decency without performative righteousness. I grew up in a very Christian worldview and eventually had to step away out of disillusionment over how easily judgment replaced compassion.
Watching Christianity invoked now in defense of cruelty and greed feels like a final confirmation of that dissonance. If belief doesn’t lead us toward kindness—especially toward people we don’t know or understand—then it’s hard to see what it’s for.
It’s so interesting because my grandma and my aunt were Italian Catholic and the most loving, generous people I’ve ever known. They’d show up for everyone, make meals, open their homes, pitch in during any emergency or disaster, or anytime anyone needed support. I know there are so many people like that in the world, still, some religious, some not. I certainly try to be that kind of person. But I see so little of that from the maga crowd, and yet they’ll tell you that’s why they voted for this madness — because they’re Christian. What kind of Christianity are we talking about? White Christian Nationalism is more like it. Zero compassion. It’s wild to me.
Not sure what I would have done without Fred Rogers, I think about that a lot. And I’m sending you a lot of love, Elizabeth. Thanks for being here, and grateful to head into this next year with you ❤️🙏🏼
My piece today is all about the generosity of strangers, so yes--they are very much still out there, and they are of all political and religious persuasions. What worries me is that more and more of us are drawing lines around ourselves based on our ideologies, assuming that if someone believes (or doesn't) a certain way, or votes (or doesn't) a certain way, they are automatically horrible people. I recently watched a fascinating 2-hour podcast with Steve Bartlett and Brene Brown where they spend a few minutes discussing their lines in the sand. Brown draws hers at intentional harm. That's what I see in this time of extreme thinking that scares me most.
I am absolutely thrilled to be in such good company here. You and your many readers, and mine, are going to be the backbone of my battered optimism for the year ahead. Happy(ish) New Year!
I love Harvey, I loved Mr. Rogers, and I love this essay, Ally. You expressed so beautifully many things that have been on my mind nearly constantly this year.
Also, I'm quite envious of your Jimmy Stewart Harvey doodle. That's SO cool. I'm glad you included a pic of it!
Thank you so much, Chris. I feel like we are on the same wavelength and I appreciate this very much. And I know, it’s super cool, isn’t it? 🐇❤️ Hugs and happy holidays amidst the insanity. Very glad to know you.
I am Gen X and I loved Mr Roger's too. I loved to hear him say he was proud of me (like he was speaking directly to me). I didn't hear that at that age from anyone else in my life but when he said it, I could feel it. You are right. Everyone should go back to watching him to learn to treat everyone with love, kindness, and understanding.
100% relate, Lennette. I think that was a big part of his magic. It seemed like he genuinely cared about each child who was tuning in and I think it’s because he really did. It was like each one of us was getting this very concentrated time with a kind, caring, trustworthy adult who cared about how we felt. I could cry thinking about it. Thanks for your comments and thank you for being here ❤️❤️🩹
I would love to be your neighbor, Dina. And yes, we’re going to be okay. I believe that in my heart, and hold onto that belief with both hands on the hardest days. So happy and grateful to know you.
This is such a breath of fresh verbal air… brilliant my friend, how you share your experience, your values, your thoughts about your inner and outer world. I love you
Ha! My mom said Jesus, Mary and Joseph. My dad gave Jesus the letter H. as a middle initial and I really wish I’d asked what it stood for. *Jesus wept* is something that happens inside my head a lot when I see comments on social media that burn my eyes lol. Love you, too, Kari ❤️ I don’t even know what we say. Happy new year feels weird. I was trying out “Year!” with Eileen, but I think you might need to be in person for it to work? Or “New Year!”?🤷🏻♀️
Oh Ally! You’re the only other person I know who uses the term ‘Jesus wept!’ when they’re really frustrated with the stupidities that abound all around us. I grew up in the south in the 60’s as a white person of privilege and yes there were times when I felt embarrassed that the little brown children had to take another bus to (a ‘different’ was told) school. I was also pleased to sit beside them in band class when our school was desegregated. The crass and ignorant farm kids were the only ones that threw spit balls at the ‘N-word’ kids, or negroes, as I was taught to call them then. When I was shipped away to high school in the Alfred I du Pont school district in Wilmington, Delaware, I was shocked to see the northern schools were still segregated in the 1970s. How could that be? And they thought I was a hick.
This is why it is absolutely insane to ban books and have an administration threaten to withhold federal funding from schools across the country unless they agree to teach an approved curriculum that does not include Critical Race Theory, aka actual American History. SMH. Jesus wept indeed. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being here ❤️🩹❤️
I saved your newsletter for this morning and I'm so glad I did. As always you're spot on expressing, in your own colorful way, everything I'm feeling. I, too, LOVED Mr. Rogers. My son, as a toddler was mesmerized by him, although I'm not sure he understood the importance of Mr.Rogers' words at the time. He is now a grown man with his own children and on his last birthday I gifted him with a book, The World According to Mr. Rogers. He gave me that smile, that I recognized from when he was a toddler, and I knew he appreciated the gift. Yesterday we took the family to MSG for the Cirque du Soleil Christmas show {amazing amazing amazing} and it was the first time I felt even a twinge of the usual Christmas magic in New York. The whole season has been "off" and I feel like I'm just going through the motions. But seeing my grandchildren's faces, astounded at the feats happening on stage made my heart happy. It didn't last long. My heart breaks for them if we don't fix our country soon. I feel the cracks, in the current administration, but it's not shattering fast enough for all the damage that has been done in less than a year. I feel so sad for all of us. My grandchildren, whose future is uncertain. For people my age, retired and ready to live their best lives, that they worked so hard to earn. And for everyone in between who are just going through the motions, experiencing happy times, but feeling like something is missing, walking around with a black cloud overhead. The people I just described are privileged ones! The ones not DIRECTLY impacted by the cruelty that this administration so blatantly seems to enjoy. Not impacted at this moment, but who knows about tomorrow? Sometimes I feel helpless to do anything, but small acts help. I let someone go ahead of me in a grocery line that has a small impatient child with them, I let someone cut ahead when I'm driving, I compliment strangers on just about anything to see them smile, it all helps me feel 'normal'. I can't believe my last years are being spent this way ~ the stupidity, the incompetence, the cruelty. More than anything I'm so sad.
I felt every single word of this in my bones, Debra. I agree many of us are in this same state of being. Heartbroken, scared, astounded so many people are still on board with the cruelty and not seeing the big picture…all of it. It is unfathomable and unthinkable. If I didn’t have kids I don’t know that I could have or would have found the energy for the holidays but I was gonna be damned if I let them steal that kind of joy from my kids. And I do think the foundation is cracking. I do think there are people who voted for this who now regret it. I have felt reassured with every special election that we are going to turn this around. But getting them out is only the first step. There’s so much work to do to make sure this never happens again and to figure out how to begin to repair. One step at a time I guess. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much. I’m glad you were able to find some moments of joy. I’m glad you gave your grandkids that magic. I’m glad there are people like you in the world, it makes me know we will be okay. We will be okay. We will.
Fred Rogers told kids in need or trouble to "look for the helpers". I just found one right here.
Evelyn, you made me cry. Thank you ❤️🩹
I LOVE Harvey. I first saw it as a play in my local college, maybe age 8 and fell in love with Jimmy’s character. One line of his is something I have taken to heart in my daily life:
“In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.”
Yes. One of my favorite lines, too. It’s such a good film.
I know it is not the center piece of your piece, and (as always) I agree with each of your central points. the theme of Harvey, that being kind and nice is not a weakness or fault, has always stuck with me and this world would likely be a better place if kindness and compassion replaced greed and consumption.
(i also guess i have a thing for (possibly) imaginary animal friends —pantoufle, Anouk’s imaginary kangaroo in Chocolate is also one of my favorite movie characters)
Heyyy seven sisters shout-out! I knew we were related! 😊 (I'm a Smith grad) And may I say, it really checks out - you've got that women's college unapologetic-ness and I love that for you
I mean, we are kindred. It was kind of obvious. But the unapologetic part was hard-won and it came later than it feels like it should have? Or I guess it showed up when I was ready to own it, but wow. It’s so much easier this way and I wish I’d owned it a lot sooner! Would have saved me so much energy. Hugs and love and all the good things, Cody. So happy and grateful to know you ❤️
Yeah I get that, I'm very much still working on it! Grateful to know you too, and to be able to read your unapologetic-ness on the page. It's helping me shape my own 💜
Hi Ally, I'm sorry I missed good few posts! I'm not sure why, I'll catch up on them hopefully in the upcoming days off!
Anyway, I'd love to wish you and your a good end of the 2025, although I don't think it was a good year at all. I rated in 6.5 out of 10 for myself so you can see it barely made it out of the bottom half, but globally, given situation with USA, Slovakia, Ukraine and many other countries, it's been a shitshow quite frankly!
On the other hand, just yesterday Anneke made me exceptionally proud of her, her kindness, maturity and just being a wonderful daughter, I've enjoyed your essays and my Mexican friend kept me informed about the world of music and fed good stories and also no one dear has died.
I totally agree with you and I must admit being raised Christian only to witness the level of obscenity thatsome so called Christians are capable of makes me ashamed. I would say it seems it's not Jesus's fault really, I'm pretty sure he'd be pretty upset about it too.
Anyway, I don't know how 2026 can be better but let's fucking hope so...
Much love as always. Namaste ❤️
Oh Peter, no worries! I am barely keeping up with the things that have to get done. Just accepting that I’m doing the best I can and going at the pace I can manage and that’s all I can do! The essays are not going anywhere 😁
And yes, it is hard to feel overly hopeful that 2026 is going to be magical, but I bet it will have some surprises in store and I’m going to trust at least some of them will be good. The other thing I have realized is having community is incredibly helpful. It really is.
Knowing other people are equally appalled and heartbroken and enraged and wanting things to be better than this — and are willing to do anything to try to help is…a lot.
So, I am holding onto that, and I have faith that there are more of us who don’t want this cruelty than those who do, and that we will keep fighting the good fight.
Love to you and Anneke ❤️ and wishes for a healthy 2026 xo
Mr Roger’s talked about human feelings. He listened to children’s fears and responded. I remember an episode where he asked children if they were afraid they would go down the drain when the water left the tub. The children I was with responded by nodding their little heads. I was amazed. Unaware they had that fear. He
then reassured them they wouldn’t, while I sat thinking how much of childhood we forget as we age
I think that was his gift. He didn’t forget what it was like to be a child in this world, how scary and confusing it could be, and he spoke from that place. Always with so much respect and understanding. I get teary when I think about the comfort he gave just to me, let alone the millions of us he comforted over the years. Absolute national treasure. Thanks for being here, Kathleen, and for sharing that story. It reminded me of how scared I was to sit on the toilet after I saw JAWS when I was seven! I felt sure a baby shark could come up the pipes and bite my butt, or swallow me whole. Sorry for my not very “poetic” memory, but that is what came to mind 😂
Oh that is scary. We survive childhood thank God.
Ally, though I know there's no deadline on reading here, I have to admit that when I get to a piece a week after it's launched, then review the comments before responding, I'm often left with the inclination to wave my arms and shout, "WHAT THEY SAID!" Thank you for always managing to find the words to express the frustration I feel.
What resonated most for me in this was the reminder that figures like Fred Rogers and George Bailey served as models of decency without performative righteousness. I grew up in a very Christian worldview and eventually had to step away out of disillusionment over how easily judgment replaced compassion.
Watching Christianity invoked now in defense of cruelty and greed feels like a final confirmation of that dissonance. If belief doesn’t lead us toward kindness—especially toward people we don’t know or understand—then it’s hard to see what it’s for.
It’s so interesting because my grandma and my aunt were Italian Catholic and the most loving, generous people I’ve ever known. They’d show up for everyone, make meals, open their homes, pitch in during any emergency or disaster, or anytime anyone needed support. I know there are so many people like that in the world, still, some religious, some not. I certainly try to be that kind of person. But I see so little of that from the maga crowd, and yet they’ll tell you that’s why they voted for this madness — because they’re Christian. What kind of Christianity are we talking about? White Christian Nationalism is more like it. Zero compassion. It’s wild to me.
Not sure what I would have done without Fred Rogers, I think about that a lot. And I’m sending you a lot of love, Elizabeth. Thanks for being here, and grateful to head into this next year with you ❤️🙏🏼
My piece today is all about the generosity of strangers, so yes--they are very much still out there, and they are of all political and religious persuasions. What worries me is that more and more of us are drawing lines around ourselves based on our ideologies, assuming that if someone believes (or doesn't) a certain way, or votes (or doesn't) a certain way, they are automatically horrible people. I recently watched a fascinating 2-hour podcast with Steve Bartlett and Brene Brown where they spend a few minutes discussing their lines in the sand. Brown draws hers at intentional harm. That's what I see in this time of extreme thinking that scares me most.
I am absolutely thrilled to be in such good company here. You and your many readers, and mine, are going to be the backbone of my battered optimism for the year ahead. Happy(ish) New Year!
Sending you a lot of love, too.
I love Harvey, I loved Mr. Rogers, and I love this essay, Ally. You expressed so beautifully many things that have been on my mind nearly constantly this year.
Also, I'm quite envious of your Jimmy Stewart Harvey doodle. That's SO cool. I'm glad you included a pic of it!
Thank you so much, Chris. I feel like we are on the same wavelength and I appreciate this very much. And I know, it’s super cool, isn’t it? 🐇❤️ Hugs and happy holidays amidst the insanity. Very glad to know you.
Same here, Ally. I hope your holidays are going well.
Another Ally-piece I love.
Oh Judith, you have so many pieces I love. Thank you, my friend ❤️❤️
I am Gen X and I loved Mr Roger's too. I loved to hear him say he was proud of me (like he was speaking directly to me). I didn't hear that at that age from anyone else in my life but when he said it, I could feel it. You are right. Everyone should go back to watching him to learn to treat everyone with love, kindness, and understanding.
100% relate, Lennette. I think that was a big part of his magic. It seemed like he genuinely cared about each child who was tuning in and I think it’s because he really did. It was like each one of us was getting this very concentrated time with a kind, caring, trustworthy adult who cared about how we felt. I could cry thinking about it. Thanks for your comments and thank you for being here ❤️❤️🩹
I'll be your neighbor, Ally. Any day. We'll be ok. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon, we'll be ok.
I would love to be your neighbor, Dina. And yes, we’re going to be okay. I believe that in my heart, and hold onto that belief with both hands on the hardest days. So happy and grateful to know you.
This is such a breath of fresh verbal air… brilliant my friend, how you share your experience, your values, your thoughts about your inner and outer world. I love you
I love you, tooooo ❤️❤️❤️
Well done, Ally! And yes, Harvey is/was real. I played Dr. Chumly in a local playhouse production 20+ years ago and I saw him.
See? Just needed one person to verify! Thanks for being that guy, John. Happy holidays, sending you a lot of love 🐇
Loved this. And you. ❤️ happy (??) almost new year!
My grandma said “Jesus Mary and Joseph” a LOT and I say it too 😂 also a fan of “Jesus wept.
Ha! My mom said Jesus, Mary and Joseph. My dad gave Jesus the letter H. as a middle initial and I really wish I’d asked what it stood for. *Jesus wept* is something that happens inside my head a lot when I see comments on social media that burn my eyes lol. Love you, too, Kari ❤️ I don’t even know what we say. Happy new year feels weird. I was trying out “Year!” with Eileen, but I think you might need to be in person for it to work? Or “New Year!”?🤷🏻♀️