I really appreciate you highlighting Trump’s anti-black systemic racism from the 80’s. It’s good to hear from a New Yorker. It’s good to hear your perspective on L.A. yoga teachers who are still focusing on non-attachment when it clearly causes actual harm—not surprised it’s cis male (mainly white) male teachers. The focus on non-attachment is both a distraction and perhaps a way to let people feel ‘at ease’ who are doing nothing and just want to not experience discomfort at yoga. Thank you Ally.
Thank you so much for listening and for your comments. I was feeling so much despair and depression last week, really kind of moving in a fog of grief. I am not usually someone who stays down when I get hit, but I was struggling mightily to get up, and finally I just decided I needed to grieve and I’d get up when I could. Saturday I started to feel a side of rage and focus along with the despair, and I feel like that today as well. Maybe even a little more rage than despair, which is probably good. It’s better fuel.
I got an email from a woman (white) who said she’s been reading my stuff for years but was unsubscribing after this week’s essay because I probably don’t want a conservative woman “aka garbage” - this is what she wrote, not what I am adding - to be in my camp. The subject line of her email was “hurting” and the thing is, obviously I don’t want to hurt anyone and at first I felt very sad and wrote back and said I would never call anyone garbage, but I simply could not understand how anyone could get past the messaging of this campaign. And that it was going to have real-life consequences for all the women and girls in my life, all my queer friends, and Black and brown friends, my friends with nonbinary kids, and that it was already happening. The whole “your body, my choice” bs happened within 24 hours.
A yoga teacher friend of mine, someone who is amazing and loving and insightful and kind and happens to be a Black woman was harassed on the street last night on her way to teach a class by a bunch of dudes in MAGA hats, and they were with women, and not even the women stood up for her and I want to throw up. This is in CA. And the white cis male yoga teachers talking about how there’s no place in the yoga studio for politics? Is there no room for caring about the safety of your friends? Because if that’s the case, I’m very confused about the yoga practice. And I’m not confused.
So I went from feeling sad that this woman felt hurt (my knee-jerk reaction to having hurt someone) to realizing it was the biggest example of white woman tears I’ve ever encountered! Like wtf lady? Yes, go ahead and unsubscribe, and if you feel hurt, figure out what was more important to you than the real-life implications of your fucking vote.
And now we have Tom Homan, a project 2025 author, announced as the “border czar” and Stephen Miller as chief of staff and it’s like, yeah. Here come the white nationalists. Your vote has put a LOT of people in jeopardy. So I dunno. I’m coming out of the fog because whatever power I have I want to use to try to protect anyone who has less.
Guess I had a lot on my mind :) I’m actually headed to write. Sending you love, hugs, solidarity and gratitude xx
Nice, glad you are headed to write. Another thing I noticed in your audio post or whatever we now call these audio things -- is when you said you read most of Project 2025 on the airplane coming back from Portugal. That made me laugh! In a good way, as in, this person is taking this very, very seriously in a way that will definitely be helpful.
When people are harrassing people on the street, I get scared. I don't understand those women who just stayed with the men. They are probably cowards. The scary reality is how quickly black, brown and trans people are just less safe. I don't know if I'm truly too much of an idealist to think that education would help. I am definitely of the opinion that when the gap between wealth and poverty grows excessive, racism increases. And I think the fact that no one has been able to put up a serious proposal for Single Payer Healthcare or for reducing the cost of college -- I think the lack of these policies stokes fear which makes folks more vulnerable to fearful scapegoat thinking. I think there is some weird stuff happening with men too, but I definitely don't feel that worked out in my head.
I think that woman reaching out to you may be a good thing. She maybe feels embarrassed. Whether she wanted your feedback or approval or to piss you off, I think it still comes from a desire to connect. I don't know what she is watching or listening to. The one thing that I don't have statistical evidence of, but that I feel is probably true is kinda simple -- people are intimidated by the Democratic party. I can totally wrap my head around how the major news networks (NBC, etc) and NYTimes hire people who are not in touch with ordinary people. I don't even know what I mean by ordinary people. Also, who knows maybe this woman is a Yale lol law graduate. And she doesn't fit my prototype. I think we all have been rather dumb at points. I did tell my best friend in high school who is Filipina that 'homophobia is way worse than racism.' I mean, I don't even remotely believe that, but that was a dumb think to say and think.
I'm of a similar mindset to you -- I am not comfortable calling anyone trash. I've never been comfortable with people making fun of Trump's body. You write about politics in a way that is relatable -- obviously, you already know, but that is a skill. And people do change. And I do think practices like non-attachment can sometimes be more harmful than useful. I have cPTSD and I have definitely had trouble telling the difference between non-attachment and disassociation. Metta is more useful for me right now and Tonglen. I find a lot of solace in Tonglen. I also feel like if these teachers could say, especially the male ones that have those big classes, "I feel so useless and unaware and not like the right person to have a big opinion about this, but I have failed many women in my life...." First of all, we both know like 100 women would throw themselves at him, and he's just be being basically decent. Good luck with your writing! I'm still very sorry you have lost your precious dog whose name I forget.
I really appreciate you highlighting Trump’s anti-black systemic racism from the 80’s. It’s good to hear from a New Yorker. It’s good to hear your perspective on L.A. yoga teachers who are still focusing on non-attachment when it clearly causes actual harm—not surprised it’s cis male (mainly white) male teachers. The focus on non-attachment is both a distraction and perhaps a way to let people feel ‘at ease’ who are doing nothing and just want to not experience discomfort at yoga. Thank you Ally.
Thank you so much for listening and for your comments. I was feeling so much despair and depression last week, really kind of moving in a fog of grief. I am not usually someone who stays down when I get hit, but I was struggling mightily to get up, and finally I just decided I needed to grieve and I’d get up when I could. Saturday I started to feel a side of rage and focus along with the despair, and I feel like that today as well. Maybe even a little more rage than despair, which is probably good. It’s better fuel.
I got an email from a woman (white) who said she’s been reading my stuff for years but was unsubscribing after this week’s essay because I probably don’t want a conservative woman “aka garbage” - this is what she wrote, not what I am adding - to be in my camp. The subject line of her email was “hurting” and the thing is, obviously I don’t want to hurt anyone and at first I felt very sad and wrote back and said I would never call anyone garbage, but I simply could not understand how anyone could get past the messaging of this campaign. And that it was going to have real-life consequences for all the women and girls in my life, all my queer friends, and Black and brown friends, my friends with nonbinary kids, and that it was already happening. The whole “your body, my choice” bs happened within 24 hours.
A yoga teacher friend of mine, someone who is amazing and loving and insightful and kind and happens to be a Black woman was harassed on the street last night on her way to teach a class by a bunch of dudes in MAGA hats, and they were with women, and not even the women stood up for her and I want to throw up. This is in CA. And the white cis male yoga teachers talking about how there’s no place in the yoga studio for politics? Is there no room for caring about the safety of your friends? Because if that’s the case, I’m very confused about the yoga practice. And I’m not confused.
So I went from feeling sad that this woman felt hurt (my knee-jerk reaction to having hurt someone) to realizing it was the biggest example of white woman tears I’ve ever encountered! Like wtf lady? Yes, go ahead and unsubscribe, and if you feel hurt, figure out what was more important to you than the real-life implications of your fucking vote.
And now we have Tom Homan, a project 2025 author, announced as the “border czar” and Stephen Miller as chief of staff and it’s like, yeah. Here come the white nationalists. Your vote has put a LOT of people in jeopardy. So I dunno. I’m coming out of the fog because whatever power I have I want to use to try to protect anyone who has less.
Guess I had a lot on my mind :) I’m actually headed to write. Sending you love, hugs, solidarity and gratitude xx
Nice, glad you are headed to write. Another thing I noticed in your audio post or whatever we now call these audio things -- is when you said you read most of Project 2025 on the airplane coming back from Portugal. That made me laugh! In a good way, as in, this person is taking this very, very seriously in a way that will definitely be helpful.
When people are harrassing people on the street, I get scared. I don't understand those women who just stayed with the men. They are probably cowards. The scary reality is how quickly black, brown and trans people are just less safe. I don't know if I'm truly too much of an idealist to think that education would help. I am definitely of the opinion that when the gap between wealth and poverty grows excessive, racism increases. And I think the fact that no one has been able to put up a serious proposal for Single Payer Healthcare or for reducing the cost of college -- I think the lack of these policies stokes fear which makes folks more vulnerable to fearful scapegoat thinking. I think there is some weird stuff happening with men too, but I definitely don't feel that worked out in my head.
I think that woman reaching out to you may be a good thing. She maybe feels embarrassed. Whether she wanted your feedback or approval or to piss you off, I think it still comes from a desire to connect. I don't know what she is watching or listening to. The one thing that I don't have statistical evidence of, but that I feel is probably true is kinda simple -- people are intimidated by the Democratic party. I can totally wrap my head around how the major news networks (NBC, etc) and NYTimes hire people who are not in touch with ordinary people. I don't even know what I mean by ordinary people. Also, who knows maybe this woman is a Yale lol law graduate. And she doesn't fit my prototype. I think we all have been rather dumb at points. I did tell my best friend in high school who is Filipina that 'homophobia is way worse than racism.' I mean, I don't even remotely believe that, but that was a dumb think to say and think.
I'm of a similar mindset to you -- I am not comfortable calling anyone trash. I've never been comfortable with people making fun of Trump's body. You write about politics in a way that is relatable -- obviously, you already know, but that is a skill. And people do change. And I do think practices like non-attachment can sometimes be more harmful than useful. I have cPTSD and I have definitely had trouble telling the difference between non-attachment and disassociation. Metta is more useful for me right now and Tonglen. I find a lot of solace in Tonglen. I also feel like if these teachers could say, especially the male ones that have those big classes, "I feel so useless and unaware and not like the right person to have a big opinion about this, but I have failed many women in my life...." First of all, we both know like 100 women would throw themselves at him, and he's just be being basically decent. Good luck with your writing! I'm still very sorry you have lost your precious dog whose name I forget.