Thank you for being here, Ally. I cannot imagine putting anything that I'm feeling now into words. I could not watch Kamala's speech. I cannot imagine how much suffering is yet to come because so many people sat it out or actually believe that another round of this monster sounds like cool idea. Just going to protect myself and those I love and keep things simple.
I count you as someone who continues to keep me sane through all of this. Sending you love and strength to carry on. One day at a time.
I knew she was going to be a class act, and she was. She had so many really good things to say. There were a lot of tears there in the audience at Howard, and I have no doubt at home. And if I hadn’t written today I don’t know what I would have done. I needed to write to figure out how I felt because I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all. But my heart is broken. I’m very grateful to have people like you to come and talk to here. And I’m sending you lots of love.
You always know just what to say and how to say it. Thank you for articulating what so many of us are thinking and feeling right now. And oh my god, that concession speech had me in tears. I can’t believe what we lost when we lost her.
Oh Kate, I’m just so sad for us all. I wasn’t overly confident, but I did think she’d win, or that it would be really close. I was ready for recounts and legal battles, but I wasn’t ready for a red wave. I really thought there were more people who were better and smarter than this. And it’s hard to face that isn’t the case. But there are a lot of us feeling this way and I know we have to remember that. I think it’s also okay to take a day or two to cry. Sending you love and hugs.
Same. Grief and anger over the lost opportunity of having Kamala Harris and her administration guide our country to becoming stronger and more steadfast in its democratic principles. She has been and will continue to be the woman who stepped up and showed the world a woman could serve as VP with honor and dignity. We will continue to fight for our values and principles. I'm proud of her and her campaign. Persist
Thank you for writing this today. I cried myself to sleep last night when the red wave was growing and I’ve been crying on and off all day today when the final results came in and I’m normally not someone who cries very often. The last time I cried was when my dog died in January and today I cried because I live in a country where over half the population hate women and are racist sexiest homophobic assholes, and yes I’m done being a good girl and I’m done being polite, and yes I’m calling every Trump voter an asshole including my neighbors in our pretty suburban gated community in California. The neighbors who fly their massive Trump flags and then complain to the HOA about my VOTE sign when the V is books and the T is a uterus and apparently that’s offensive to them. I hope they all face the consequences of their vote especially since Trump will screw them all over the same way he will screw the rest of us.
It’s such a terrible experience to hear the words come out of someone’s mouth, someone you find reprehensible in every way, and have to face the fact that more than half the people who voted heard those same words and had a totally different reaction. It’s dizzying and heartbreaking, and because it puts so many people in danger, it’s enraging, too. And my tears are just a release of so many emotions, grief of course but also frustration and rage. And I’m just unfriending people who voted for this madness because I don’t want to be friends with anyone who has so little regard for me and so many people I care about. Fuck that. But thank god for all of you. Hugs and love. And your sign sounds cool af.
Oh Ann, I’ve been crying a lot. I’m glad you got to release some of that grief. I wish I could give you a big hug, but I’m sending you one, along with a lot of love 🤍
It does feel like we're living in parallel universe waiting for the daymare to end. In many ways, this scenario - as well as the suspicion that the low turnout for Harris is inexplicable given that her ground game seemed so strong - are preferable to the fact that this country is deeply ignorant, racist and misogynistic and cares more about the price of eggs than compassion and decency. I cried and vomited a lot today. And I'm so sorry about your dog. We would be monsters not to grieve and be afraid on behalf of all of the people who are not white, male, 'Christian', and rich. We would be fools not to worry about the fate of the world and the hellscape our children are bound to inherit. Where do we go from here? All the hugs to you, Ally. At least, we have each other's back.
Thank you, Helia. It’s all just terrible timing. Tuesday I was so anxious I ended up cleaning my house even though it didn’t need cleaning. Normally I would have burned off the energy by walking my dog to the beach, but of course I couldn’t do that. And normally if I needed to have a good cry I would have buried my face in his neck, but I haven’t been able to do that, either. Nothing feels normal because nothing is normal. But we all have each other, and that is a lot. Love and hugs to you. Somehow we will get through this 🤍
Oh Rita, thank you. I felt sad that I wrote something so bleak, but things are bleak so what can you do. There’s a child psychologist Dan Siegel and he has this quote “you have to name it to tame it” and I really needed to just get all the thoughts and feelings swirling around my head and heart onto the screen so I didn’t combust. I can’t say I tamed it exactly, but it did help to name it. And it helped to meet you all here on this utterly heartbreaking day. Love and hugs.
I agree that it's important to name the bleakness. I think the only healthy way past is through, and it's not healthy for me to be with people who want to deny the darkness or try to skirt around it. It's here. It's been here, and it helped me to find people yesterday who were looking it head on. I think the most hopeful and positive thing we can do is tell the truth with love. Your post did that for me. Love and hugs back to you.
Ally, you are not obliged to be hopeful for us, or to write something to make us feel better. It's the openness and truthfulness of your words that keep us reading.
We've been dealt a stunning blow, but we can and will pick ourselves up and push forward.
Thank you so much. I know the best thing I can do is just be transparent but I don’t usually feel as sad and dark about things as I do right now. It’s been a rough couple of weeks leading up to this, too, so I’m just shot at the moment. And I know that sometimes the most comforting thing is someone else’s rage or grief when you are raging or grieving yourself, so I guess we are all helping each other. And I appreciate you 🤍
I was a poll worker in my precinct on Tuesday. I came home and my wife had a Scotch and water for me. I sat on the couch and watched the results come in and when GA and NC went his way so decisively, I was already on my third drink for my dinner. At 11 PM, and my fourth, I went to bed. Yesterday I woke with a slight hangover and threw away my yard signs and now I get to nurse a nasty hangover for four fucking years.
The only positive thing I have at the moment is my family that surrounds me with love, at least I have that.
A fucking carton of eggs, WTF. I thought America was better than this.
Yeah, I thought so, too, Bill. I spent election night zooming with a couple of close friends in red states and my daughter coming in and out and as the night went on and the path for her started to disappear I just couldn’t believe it. And when I say that, I mean that I both could and could not believe it. I went into the night thinking it would, at the very least, be close. I felt intermittently numb and devastated. Kept doing 2016 math. And then just felt so incredibly depressed and disheartened and worried. And am still grappling with what all of it means. It’s very comforting to meet all of you in the comments, though. Appreciate you being here very much 🤍
Every word. Every single word you wrote - raw, real, honest. My head hurts, my jaw is throbbing and my eyes won't stop watering, I've cried all day. For my daughter, my son, our future, our country's future. I'm exhausted. I just don't care to talk about or try to understand why someone would vote for him. And I'm holding space for you. We're a safe community you've built, and you get to grieve with all of us too. Big hugs to you
Thanks so much, Danielle. So good to hear from you. And I didn’t get out of my pajamas today. My heart hurts for all of us, most of all the kids. So grateful for all of you here 🤍🤍
Ally, this is my first time on your Substack after reading a post by Lisa Renee. Of all of the posts I have read on this topic since Wednesday yours has touched me the most. You have put into words everything that I have been feeling since the campaign started. How can people so blatantly ignore the facts, turn a blind eye (ear) to the vitriol, the nonsensical speech, puerile name-calling and mimicry, threats…..? If their children were subjected to this at school they would be demanding something be done about this bully!
Here, in Australia, my heart was breaking for those of you in America who were devastated by this result. I have been at a loss as to how the hell this could have happened. How this man could have triumphed over an articulate, intelligent woman confounds me. 💔
Hi Pam, welcome, and thank you for your kindness and compassion from Australia. And your condolences. It really is unfathomable. I think this is exactly the issue - I don’t understand people who are able to overlook the messaging of this campaign. It’s all a full-stop for me. And it breaks my heart and feels like such an enormous weight to carry mentally and emotionally to try to understand how that could have been and is okay with over half the voting public. It’s been days and I still can’t wrap my head around it. I also wonder if the majority of people who voted for this ticket understand the full scope of what they did. I guess, sadly, we will find out. But it’s starting already. Men are showing up on college campuses with signs that say “Your body, my choice” and “women are property” and there’s a huge uptick on social media with that messaging, too. I got an email from our school superintendent in Southern California tonight, one of the most liberal places in the states, saying Black students were receiving reprehensible text messages and that it’s been happening across the country and the FBI is investigating. This is what happened last time. Hate crimes rose. The messaging of this campaign has consequences and no one here can pretend they didn’t know that. So I am just doing my best to try to process this and figure out what to do. I thank you for your solidarity, it really is a comfort to know so many people are feeling these same things. And I’m very happy you’re here. We’re going to need all the friends we can get x
I don't think I've read a more comprehensive and perfectly stated article than yours ... and I've read a TON this week. I think they (most right-leaning men) honestly just don't view us as actual fully formed PEOPLE. We're "less than" so all of this is justified in their eyes.
I think this perfectly articulates the most accurate definition of misogyny I've seen so far: "Misogyny isn’t about hating or discriminating against women because they are women and thus attract suspicion and consternation. Misogyny is about exposing women to harm because our gender makes us beneath full consideration. Misogyny is primarily something we face, not something people feel in their hearts." (link: https://katemanne.substack.com/p/broken-bones-americas-violent-indifference )
I feel this in my bones, Cheri. A few months ago a man I thought was a friend/colleague - someone I’ve known and worked with for years - displayed the exact indifference you’re pointing out. He proudly told me how he’d asked a woman he was mentoring, a woman in her twenties, to paint a picture about why she was grateful for the patriarchy. He thought that would help her to stop feeling victimized by it because according to him, it gives all of us lucky girls and women a force to resist, thus bringing out the best in us and helping us to have a positive attitude as we work to overcome. Or some such enraging bullshit.
When I tried to express to him the multitude of ways I found that outrageous and disappointing, he sighed audibly and looked at his watch. He is of course a straight, white, blonde, upwardly mobile dude who talks about non-attachment and how we all have to be okay no matter what happens. And I gotta tell you, there are a LOT of male yoga teachers peddling garbage like this right now. It’s very easy to practice non-attachment when your rights and your life and your safety aren’t on the line. And I have no doubt he voted for Trump because he also told me the left had “gone too far with all the pronouns.” So now he’s a guy I know, but he’s clearly not a friend. Indifference is, indeed, as damaging as a person who wants bad things to happen to you.
And thank you so much, I spent most of Tuesday and Wednesday sitting in the den trying to wrap my head around it all. It’s painful. But it really helps to know there are so many of us lamenting this turn of events, because at least we aren’t alone in our sorrow. That’s something to hold onto. Sometimes that’s all you need. Sending you love and hugs, I’m really thankful you’re here x
I've been utterly devastated since the results rolled in earlier this week... I think I've cried literal gallons-worth of tears. Yesterday I refused to even leave my bed, called in to work, the whole 9. I don't know what happened between last night & this morning but somehow I'm experiencing a renewed sense of "let's fucking DO THIS fuckers" - - I will NOT sit idly by - I will NOT concede - I will NOT comply, not EVER.
I'm 51 and in the thick of perimenopause so - - I've got an entire lifetime of pent up rage that's come to the surface and I'm ready for The Resistance movement I see starting to form. Let's GO.
I’m waiting for this energy to hit and when it does I will meet your perimenopause rage with my own and we will scorch some earth. Right now I am still processing or integrating or I short-circuited or something. But I’ll get there xx
Thank you, Ally, for keeping it real. I am at a loss and questioning my reality. I thought for sure when he mentioned immigrants were eating our pets, most people would see him for what he is. He seems to be preying on peoples' fears. It's painful to say, but he truly showed up as himself and enough people wanted what he was offering. Yesterday morning, both my mother and my daughters were crying. I tried to stay hopeful for them, but the truth is, I got nothing.
It would be helpful to talk with people and find out their perspectives. With this election, I am almost afraid to find out. In my heart of hearts, I hope people are not against having a woman and/or a person of color in the Oval Office. With this past election, I am left wondering. I want to ask what specifically is it that we need to go back to in order to be great again? I'd love to go back to talking and listening to each other. I'd love to go back to seeing how people respond to the words being said instead of posting nasty comments and memes.
Hoping some time of self-care, rest, and reflection will help all those who are discouraged.
It’s just all so sad, Kristin. This is no way to live in a country with other people. Sometimes I think the internet has connected us, so we can all convene here for example, and other times I think it’s our demise because people can’t see hear the tone in someone’s voice or see their eyes or maybe consider that they’re in pain. I guess it’s like anything else, it’s a tool and it’s all about how you use it. But there’s also the whole algorithm thing, the echo chamber, and the way it can all be manipulated. I guess I wonder if we should go back to communal living, grow our own food, make sure there’s a doctor in the village, and reset everything. Because something has gone badly wrong. People are so enraged and lonely and violent and it’s exhausting. But there are so many good, kind, empathetic people, too, and the longer we live through this madness the closer I want to be to the people who are sane and thoughtful and loving. Like everyone here. So grateful for y’all 🤍
Thank you for this. I was basically useless with work today. Speechless much of the day. In a fog. Irritable and exhausted. This essay captures so much of why. As a dad of an adult daughter. And as an American.
Oh Paul, today was rough. I am definitely taking it a few hours at a time right now. I was feeling intermittently numb and horrified last night. And I’m still wrapping my head around the reality of what happened. It is painful to have children in a world you don’t understand. I want so much more for them and for all of us. But it really helps to connect with other people feeling this same despair. We all just have to hold onto one another I think. I’m sending you lots of love, and love to your daughter, too.
Well, you know us personally, now. When I tell you the comments section here is one of my favorite things in life, I’m not exaggerating. And I know what you mean. I was in my pajamas all day. I tried to comfort my daughter as best I could and then I sat in my empty den without my dog and wrote. I don’t know how anyone went about their business today (not judging, some people had to go to work, carry on etc) but there are people who seemed blasé today and meanwhile I feel like the world is hanging off its axis. I’m glad this gave you some comfort, and I’m very happy you’re here 🤍
Thank you for being here, Ally. I cannot imagine putting anything that I'm feeling now into words. I could not watch Kamala's speech. I cannot imagine how much suffering is yet to come because so many people sat it out or actually believe that another round of this monster sounds like cool idea. Just going to protect myself and those I love and keep things simple.
I count you as someone who continues to keep me sane through all of this. Sending you love and strength to carry on. One day at a time.
I knew she was going to be a class act, and she was. She had so many really good things to say. There were a lot of tears there in the audience at Howard, and I have no doubt at home. And if I hadn’t written today I don’t know what I would have done. I needed to write to figure out how I felt because I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all. But my heart is broken. I’m very grateful to have people like you to come and talk to here. And I’m sending you lots of love.
Yup. Deleted every single 'news update' today and kept the radio off. Books and brownies. One day at a time. xoxoxo
Brownies and tears in Austin.... I'm numb
You always know just what to say and how to say it. Thank you for articulating what so many of us are thinking and feeling right now. And oh my god, that concession speech had me in tears. I can’t believe what we lost when we lost her.
Oh Kate, I’m just so sad for us all. I wasn’t overly confident, but I did think she’d win, or that it would be really close. I was ready for recounts and legal battles, but I wasn’t ready for a red wave. I really thought there were more people who were better and smarter than this. And it’s hard to face that isn’t the case. But there are a lot of us feeling this way and I know we have to remember that. I think it’s also okay to take a day or two to cry. Sending you love and hugs.
Same. Grief and anger over the lost opportunity of having Kamala Harris and her administration guide our country to becoming stronger and more steadfast in its democratic principles. She has been and will continue to be the woman who stepped up and showed the world a woman could serve as VP with honor and dignity. We will continue to fight for our values and principles. I'm proud of her and her campaign. Persist
Thank you for writing this today. I cried myself to sleep last night when the red wave was growing and I’ve been crying on and off all day today when the final results came in and I’m normally not someone who cries very often. The last time I cried was when my dog died in January and today I cried because I live in a country where over half the population hate women and are racist sexiest homophobic assholes, and yes I’m done being a good girl and I’m done being polite, and yes I’m calling every Trump voter an asshole including my neighbors in our pretty suburban gated community in California. The neighbors who fly their massive Trump flags and then complain to the HOA about my VOTE sign when the V is books and the T is a uterus and apparently that’s offensive to them. I hope they all face the consequences of their vote especially since Trump will screw them all over the same way he will screw the rest of us.
It’s such a terrible experience to hear the words come out of someone’s mouth, someone you find reprehensible in every way, and have to face the fact that more than half the people who voted heard those same words and had a totally different reaction. It’s dizzying and heartbreaking, and because it puts so many people in danger, it’s enraging, too. And my tears are just a release of so many emotions, grief of course but also frustration and rage. And I’m just unfriending people who voted for this madness because I don’t want to be friends with anyone who has so little regard for me and so many people I care about. Fuck that. But thank god for all of you. Hugs and love. And your sign sounds cool af.
TRUMP voters are fucking ASSHOLES! I'm done with being nice, too. Nobody fuckjng respects NICE -- lets raise some hell.
Ally, You vocalized everything I’m feeling and gave me the space to cry. I’m so sad. Thank you for this. I know I am not alone. 😢
Oh Ann, I’ve been crying a lot. I’m glad you got to release some of that grief. I wish I could give you a big hug, but I’m sending you one, along with a lot of love 🤍
It does feel like we're living in parallel universe waiting for the daymare to end. In many ways, this scenario - as well as the suspicion that the low turnout for Harris is inexplicable given that her ground game seemed so strong - are preferable to the fact that this country is deeply ignorant, racist and misogynistic and cares more about the price of eggs than compassion and decency. I cried and vomited a lot today. And I'm so sorry about your dog. We would be monsters not to grieve and be afraid on behalf of all of the people who are not white, male, 'Christian', and rich. We would be fools not to worry about the fate of the world and the hellscape our children are bound to inherit. Where do we go from here? All the hugs to you, Ally. At least, we have each other's back.
Thank you, Helia. It’s all just terrible timing. Tuesday I was so anxious I ended up cleaning my house even though it didn’t need cleaning. Normally I would have burned off the energy by walking my dog to the beach, but of course I couldn’t do that. And normally if I needed to have a good cry I would have buried my face in his neck, but I haven’t been able to do that, either. Nothing feels normal because nothing is normal. But we all have each other, and that is a lot. Love and hugs to you. Somehow we will get through this 🤍
People posting helpful and uplifting things today made me feel angry, and you helped me understand why: It felt like gaslighting. Thank you.
Oh Rita, thank you. I felt sad that I wrote something so bleak, but things are bleak so what can you do. There’s a child psychologist Dan Siegel and he has this quote “you have to name it to tame it” and I really needed to just get all the thoughts and feelings swirling around my head and heart onto the screen so I didn’t combust. I can’t say I tamed it exactly, but it did help to name it. And it helped to meet you all here on this utterly heartbreaking day. Love and hugs.
I agree that it's important to name the bleakness. I think the only healthy way past is through, and it's not healthy for me to be with people who want to deny the darkness or try to skirt around it. It's here. It's been here, and it helped me to find people yesterday who were looking it head on. I think the most hopeful and positive thing we can do is tell the truth with love. Your post did that for me. Love and hugs back to you.
Exactly
Ally, you are not obliged to be hopeful for us, or to write something to make us feel better. It's the openness and truthfulness of your words that keep us reading.
We've been dealt a stunning blow, but we can and will pick ourselves up and push forward.
Take care of yourself🧡
Thank you so much. I know the best thing I can do is just be transparent but I don’t usually feel as sad and dark about things as I do right now. It’s been a rough couple of weeks leading up to this, too, so I’m just shot at the moment. And I know that sometimes the most comforting thing is someone else’s rage or grief when you are raging or grieving yourself, so I guess we are all helping each other. And I appreciate you 🤍
I was a poll worker in my precinct on Tuesday. I came home and my wife had a Scotch and water for me. I sat on the couch and watched the results come in and when GA and NC went his way so decisively, I was already on my third drink for my dinner. At 11 PM, and my fourth, I went to bed. Yesterday I woke with a slight hangover and threw away my yard signs and now I get to nurse a nasty hangover for four fucking years.
The only positive thing I have at the moment is my family that surrounds me with love, at least I have that.
A fucking carton of eggs, WTF. I thought America was better than this.
Yeah, I thought so, too, Bill. I spent election night zooming with a couple of close friends in red states and my daughter coming in and out and as the night went on and the path for her started to disappear I just couldn’t believe it. And when I say that, I mean that I both could and could not believe it. I went into the night thinking it would, at the very least, be close. I felt intermittently numb and devastated. Kept doing 2016 math. And then just felt so incredibly depressed and disheartened and worried. And am still grappling with what all of it means. It’s very comforting to meet all of you in the comments, though. Appreciate you being here very much 🤍
Every word. Every single word you wrote - raw, real, honest. My head hurts, my jaw is throbbing and my eyes won't stop watering, I've cried all day. For my daughter, my son, our future, our country's future. I'm exhausted. I just don't care to talk about or try to understand why someone would vote for him. And I'm holding space for you. We're a safe community you've built, and you get to grieve with all of us too. Big hugs to you
Thanks so much, Danielle. So good to hear from you. And I didn’t get out of my pajamas today. My heart hurts for all of us, most of all the kids. So grateful for all of you here 🤍🤍
Ally, this is my first time on your Substack after reading a post by Lisa Renee. Of all of the posts I have read on this topic since Wednesday yours has touched me the most. You have put into words everything that I have been feeling since the campaign started. How can people so blatantly ignore the facts, turn a blind eye (ear) to the vitriol, the nonsensical speech, puerile name-calling and mimicry, threats…..? If their children were subjected to this at school they would be demanding something be done about this bully!
Here, in Australia, my heart was breaking for those of you in America who were devastated by this result. I have been at a loss as to how the hell this could have happened. How this man could have triumphed over an articulate, intelligent woman confounds me. 💔
Hi Pam, welcome, and thank you for your kindness and compassion from Australia. And your condolences. It really is unfathomable. I think this is exactly the issue - I don’t understand people who are able to overlook the messaging of this campaign. It’s all a full-stop for me. And it breaks my heart and feels like such an enormous weight to carry mentally and emotionally to try to understand how that could have been and is okay with over half the voting public. It’s been days and I still can’t wrap my head around it. I also wonder if the majority of people who voted for this ticket understand the full scope of what they did. I guess, sadly, we will find out. But it’s starting already. Men are showing up on college campuses with signs that say “Your body, my choice” and “women are property” and there’s a huge uptick on social media with that messaging, too. I got an email from our school superintendent in Southern California tonight, one of the most liberal places in the states, saying Black students were receiving reprehensible text messages and that it’s been happening across the country and the FBI is investigating. This is what happened last time. Hate crimes rose. The messaging of this campaign has consequences and no one here can pretend they didn’t know that. So I am just doing my best to try to process this and figure out what to do. I thank you for your solidarity, it really is a comfort to know so many people are feeling these same things. And I’m very happy you’re here. We’re going to need all the friends we can get x
I don't think I've read a more comprehensive and perfectly stated article than yours ... and I've read a TON this week. I think they (most right-leaning men) honestly just don't view us as actual fully formed PEOPLE. We're "less than" so all of this is justified in their eyes.
I think this perfectly articulates the most accurate definition of misogyny I've seen so far: "Misogyny isn’t about hating or discriminating against women because they are women and thus attract suspicion and consternation. Misogyny is about exposing women to harm because our gender makes us beneath full consideration. Misogyny is primarily something we face, not something people feel in their hearts." (link: https://katemanne.substack.com/p/broken-bones-americas-violent-indifference )
I feel this in my bones, Cheri. A few months ago a man I thought was a friend/colleague - someone I’ve known and worked with for years - displayed the exact indifference you’re pointing out. He proudly told me how he’d asked a woman he was mentoring, a woman in her twenties, to paint a picture about why she was grateful for the patriarchy. He thought that would help her to stop feeling victimized by it because according to him, it gives all of us lucky girls and women a force to resist, thus bringing out the best in us and helping us to have a positive attitude as we work to overcome. Or some such enraging bullshit.
When I tried to express to him the multitude of ways I found that outrageous and disappointing, he sighed audibly and looked at his watch. He is of course a straight, white, blonde, upwardly mobile dude who talks about non-attachment and how we all have to be okay no matter what happens. And I gotta tell you, there are a LOT of male yoga teachers peddling garbage like this right now. It’s very easy to practice non-attachment when your rights and your life and your safety aren’t on the line. And I have no doubt he voted for Trump because he also told me the left had “gone too far with all the pronouns.” So now he’s a guy I know, but he’s clearly not a friend. Indifference is, indeed, as damaging as a person who wants bad things to happen to you.
And thank you so much, I spent most of Tuesday and Wednesday sitting in the den trying to wrap my head around it all. It’s painful. But it really helps to know there are so many of us lamenting this turn of events, because at least we aren’t alone in our sorrow. That’s something to hold onto. Sometimes that’s all you need. Sending you love and hugs, I’m really thankful you’re here x
I've been utterly devastated since the results rolled in earlier this week... I think I've cried literal gallons-worth of tears. Yesterday I refused to even leave my bed, called in to work, the whole 9. I don't know what happened between last night & this morning but somehow I'm experiencing a renewed sense of "let's fucking DO THIS fuckers" - - I will NOT sit idly by - I will NOT concede - I will NOT comply, not EVER.
I'm 51 and in the thick of perimenopause so - - I've got an entire lifetime of pent up rage that's come to the surface and I'm ready for The Resistance movement I see starting to form. Let's GO.
I’m waiting for this energy to hit and when it does I will meet your perimenopause rage with my own and we will scorch some earth. Right now I am still processing or integrating or I short-circuited or something. But I’ll get there xx
Thank you, Ally, for keeping it real. I am at a loss and questioning my reality. I thought for sure when he mentioned immigrants were eating our pets, most people would see him for what he is. He seems to be preying on peoples' fears. It's painful to say, but he truly showed up as himself and enough people wanted what he was offering. Yesterday morning, both my mother and my daughters were crying. I tried to stay hopeful for them, but the truth is, I got nothing.
It would be helpful to talk with people and find out their perspectives. With this election, I am almost afraid to find out. In my heart of hearts, I hope people are not against having a woman and/or a person of color in the Oval Office. With this past election, I am left wondering. I want to ask what specifically is it that we need to go back to in order to be great again? I'd love to go back to talking and listening to each other. I'd love to go back to seeing how people respond to the words being said instead of posting nasty comments and memes.
Hoping some time of self-care, rest, and reflection will help all those who are discouraged.
Thank you again, Ally.
It’s just all so sad, Kristin. This is no way to live in a country with other people. Sometimes I think the internet has connected us, so we can all convene here for example, and other times I think it’s our demise because people can’t see hear the tone in someone’s voice or see their eyes or maybe consider that they’re in pain. I guess it’s like anything else, it’s a tool and it’s all about how you use it. But there’s also the whole algorithm thing, the echo chamber, and the way it can all be manipulated. I guess I wonder if we should go back to communal living, grow our own food, make sure there’s a doctor in the village, and reset everything. Because something has gone badly wrong. People are so enraged and lonely and violent and it’s exhausting. But there are so many good, kind, empathetic people, too, and the longer we live through this madness the closer I want to be to the people who are sane and thoughtful and loving. Like everyone here. So grateful for y’all 🤍
Thank you for this. I was basically useless with work today. Speechless much of the day. In a fog. Irritable and exhausted. This essay captures so much of why. As a dad of an adult daughter. And as an American.
Oh Paul, today was rough. I am definitely taking it a few hours at a time right now. I was feeling intermittently numb and horrified last night. And I’m still wrapping my head around the reality of what happened. It is painful to have children in a world you don’t understand. I want so much more for them and for all of us. But it really helps to connect with other people feeling this same despair. We all just have to hold onto one another I think. I’m sending you lots of love, and love to your daughter, too.
I wish I knew everyone here personally. I don't understand even the people who voted for Kamala who are going about today like a normal day
Well, you know us personally, now. When I tell you the comments section here is one of my favorite things in life, I’m not exaggerating. And I know what you mean. I was in my pajamas all day. I tried to comfort my daughter as best I could and then I sat in my empty den without my dog and wrote. I don’t know how anyone went about their business today (not judging, some people had to go to work, carry on etc) but there are people who seemed blasé today and meanwhile I feel like the world is hanging off its axis. I’m glad this gave you some comfort, and I’m very happy you’re here 🤍
It’s a month on and I just found this. Every word of this. Truth.
Still processing it all. Thanks for being here 🤍
So sad for you. My favorite dog, Queenie, died on my lap when I was younger. I carry her in my heart.
Thanks so much, Deb. It’s a particular, piercing kind of heartbreak, isn’t it? But worth all the years of love. And love to you and Queenie ♥️