I relate to so much of this. My mother can be the most loving and affectionate person so long as I agree with her points of view or as long as I don't say the wrong thing. I once figured out that telling her she's being manipulative is the emotional equivalent to a “detonate” button. She was having her car inspected or getting something fixed, so I picked her up. I was in my mid-twenties and this was around the time I began going to therapy and learning how to set boundaries and how to stand up for myself. I don't even remember what we were talking about but I told her I no longer wanted to have the conversation and her response must have been some attempt to control me, to get me to do or say the thing she wanted. I unknowingly pushed that hair-trigger of a button and she opened my car door on a very busy road that exits onto an interstate highway. We were at a light but it was madness. To keep her from doing something dangerous I was pulling her arm, pulling her toward me to keep her in the car telling her I was sorry as she screamed at me. The light changed and traffic began moving and she relented. This was an extreme situation but my entire life, the dynamic has been very conditional. She loves me - so much that it can seem suffocating - until I say the wrong thing. Then its “I’m done with you”. “You’re out of my will”. When I was a kid, I’d get paddled, smacked in the face, or grounded. In those days, I believed I was in the wrong. She was the perfect Christian mother and I was a disrespectful and willful brat. I learned this “she loves me/loves me not” behavior is a classic marker of Borderline Personality disorder. Through nearly twenty years in therapy, I’ve done so much work on myself but still, I struggle to stand up to her. I’m in my 40’s now but I still become a child when I'm in her presence and lose the ability to reason, or else I lose the ability to coherently verbalize my thoughts. Because of this, and because she has stepped over most of boundaries I've set, I now see her and speak to her very minimally.
I also, struggle when it comes to asking for anything, and recently set my Substack up for paid subscribers. I also spent a long time deliberating this and coming to the conclusion that I’m working too hard to not ask. I spent a long time considering what else I can offer people because I don't want to charge them to read. My plan is to try and set up a kind of virtual support group for all the people who are being dehumanized and hurting right now. The whole thing was a process and I still don't have it all figured out but I did it - I set up my payments! I just got my first paid subscriber this past weekend!!
I have 4 kids, including one who is a college freshman at U Chicago and another who just finished college, but doesn't have a good job yet, therefore I’m paying his student loans(my name is on them too.) I have two still at home. They're growing up so fast and I love the people they are all becoming but at the same time, I ache for those days when they were so little and we spent every waking moment together.
Loooong story short, you sound so much like me and I completely relate to everything you just shared. I hope that you have an amazing birthday, full of love and light! I hope you get that checkmark!
Oh my gosh, do I feel like we could sit down and talk for hours. That's the thing that's always hard to capture, because she could be so cruel to me, but she did love me to the best of her ability. In our situation there was also her alcoholism in the mix, though that did not come into full bloom until I was seven or eight. It did not help matters as you might imagine. There isn't room to ask for what you want in that kind of childhood, you spend your time trying not to get in trouble, or figuring out how to be helpful so maybe you get some kind of love. Anyway, huge congratulations on setting up your paid subscriptions and asking for what you want, and pushing through the trauma of having a very difficult mother. I lost mine at the end of 2021, and there's such a long story there, but after decades of one kind of pain, I was then knocked sideways by grief. I'm sending you the biggest hugs. I'm so happy to meet you.
I’m sorry to hear that you lost your mother. Even with the emotional abuse and alcholism, she’s still your mom. There is a part of me that feels like there will be a sense of peace when it happens but I feel things so deeply, it’s more likely that I will be stricken with grief and also guilt for keeping my distance. The rational side knows it’s for the best but I have guilt even now.
My dad passed away when I was 13. He lived in CA and we were in PA so I rarely saw him but we talked frequently and I loved him so much. I still do. It was strange because of the fact that we saw each other so infrequently, for years I would wake up after having a dream about him and in my half awake state, would think “I need to call him.” But reality would hit a moment later, crashing over me like a wave. I think it prolonged the grieving. There is a very long story behind what happened with him but I won’t get into that right now.
What happened with my mom is such a long story I am currently 358 pages into a memoir about it 😳 that is clearly going to need a serious edit before I give it to the editor lol. So probably too long for here. But the short answer is she got ALS out of nowhere and it was brutal. I’m really looking forward to reading your stuff, and I have no doubt I will message you. Sounds like we should talk at some point 🤍
Ally, if I’d been your mom’s neighbor, that whole thing woulda gone down waaay different. Probably good I wasn’t. Just know I’m hugging that 5 yo too.
You’re a brilliant writer— writing is a hard, hard gig and you’re doing it so well— and we should be making NFL wages for what we do because we’re fucking good. Becasue poetry and soul transcription make the world a better place way more than fucking football does.
I wish I were in charge of checkmarks and bank accounts— I’d give you the best birthday ever. And after the year you’ve had, ya fuckin deserve it and so much more. I appreciate you. So so much. Happy early birthday. I’ll text you Saturday. The dawning of Aquarius. Or whatever. xo
Thank you, Kate. I didn't mention it, but Ulla was 6'3" and she liked my mother, but not in that moment. My mother never put me in the stairwell again, so at least there was that. And my 5 yo self gratefully accepts your hug.
You're a brilliant writer, too, you take my breath away on the regular, and when you aren't doing that, it's a gut punch. And one time I broke out in a sweat, lol. I wish you were in charge of checkmarks and bank accounts and all of it, too. But you know what? I'll take your friendship over all of that, because when push comes to shove, that's the gold.
Still, we should be able to do what we do and not worry. So that's my birthday wish for both of us. Let this be the year. I know that's a HUGE wish given the way this year has begun, but I'm making the wish, anyway. Short of that, we could always write a cheesy romance novel under a pseudonym. Love you.
Didn't know about the checkmark (thanks for explaining it). But. You. Deserve. A. CHECKMARK. Or three. Orange or not (would like to gift you a pretty blue one). I so appreciate your honesty, whatever you're writing about. You and Eileen are like found family and have helped me and a gazillion others navigate through some awful times. And nobody in their right mind would resent you offering a 'special' -- that would be the equivalent of resenting people getting their student loans forgiven when you paid off yours. Only assholes feel that way. Keep going, birthday girl, and it was your mother who was dead wrong, not you. Hugs.
Thank you so much, Helia. I have no intention of stopping. My head would explode if I didn't write and I don't think I'd be very much fun to be around, either. I agree Eileen is the best, and it feels like we have all found each other here, which is a bonus I never expected. Yay, us.
And who even knows what people get upset about these days. Last night a guy who read my stuff for years and years and told me how much it helped him at some point along the way, showed up in the comments section and called me a communist lol. It's fine, he loves Trump and Elon and clearly whatever help I might have extended to him, it was not nearly enough! My god.
And my mom. She was so difficult and she had so much rage, and yet, I miss her every minute of every day because she was more than just her river of rage. I don't know what kind of dysfunction must be happening inside you to do that to your child, but my heart hurts for both of us when I think about that night, and so many others. Anyway, I adore you. I thank you for being here, and for your birthday wishes. Hugs and love to you xoxox
We'll never know what hells our parents went through to become the less-than-perfect parents they became. I adore that you feel sorry for yours. My mom was a child of Nazi Germany, with all that entails, and I still can't forgive her for selling me to the highest bidder whenever she got the chance. It's a burden to be bitter and unable to forgive (i still have nightmares of her strapping me into medical devices that exchange her old blood for my comparatively young blood because she made me for spare parts). Americans' fear of communism is too bloody funny (Equality for all? How dare you mess with the natural order of WHITE MALE supremacy!) If there is alien intelligence in space I doubt they will ever want to contact US. :-)
I just became your paid subscriber!!! I have read and devoured everything you write and love it all - and you just,so beautifully, articulated how hard it is to ask for what we need and want, and how wobbly it makes that little five year old inside feel ❤️❤️. But yay you! And to be so brave at such a tough fucking time over there. My nervous system is so so frayed by the world at the moment and your words are so soothing - thank you Ally! It’s an epic battle we are in and I am glad to be in your corner ❤️
Cathy, thank you so, *so* much. It is true, it's always hard to ask for what I want and need, and I really do not like to make myself vulnerable, but I feel like at this moment in time it is that much harder! The world feels insane and every sane person I know is losing it. So I appreciate your support even more, and your kindness, too. I don't know what I'd be doing without this comments section, I know I am partial, but it just feels like one of the best corners anywhere. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here, and for being you! <3 <3
"This happens to be the third very hard thing I’ve done over the last two weeks, so I would love a small marching band to walk through the kitchen if anyone wants to arrange that." I love that, and if I lived closer, could maybe arrange it. I am Band Mom and my son and his friends would definitely do this for someone so cool.
The story about five year-old you broke my heart, my god.
I totally relate to the predicament of obsessing over the offer and spending hours trying to hit just the right tone with it. It is wild to me that there are people in the world who would send the email blast or post the note with the first version of what they wrote and not think twice about how it's received. Someone tell me what it's like to be so self-assured, lol.
Ha! It’s wild to me, too. I can’t imagine being like, I’m gonna run a special, lemme take 5 minutes to set that up. Great, cool, send. lol. But there has to be a happy medium where it doesn’t take 5 hours either 🤣😳 Thank you for caring about my 5-year-old self, for meeting me here like you do, and for the birthday wishes 🙏🏼❤️ Happy Galentine’s Kate! Xoxo
Hi Ally, well, first of all, I would almost forget that we share birthday, which I still find oddly satisfying, what are the chances lol? Secondly, I just subscribed, because it's a gift from you to me and from me to me lol and I guess from me to you you. Double win!
You are quite right though, I've recently cancelled my Patreon subscriptions, not because I don't like those artists but I feel a bit overwhelmed with payments. I wish I could spend more on stuff like that. I'm trying to pay some credit card debt and I decided I'll try to be more careful with my outgoings. Anyway, that's not important.
I'd like to use this comment to wish you a happy birthday tomorrow! Hope you have a wonderful day despite all that is wrong, because hopefully quite a few things are also good! I feel you! I had a bit of depression last night but it seems better now. I'll be spending my day with Anneke tomorrow, we're off to see new anime movie, The Colours Within and then pizza!
I appreciate you and your writing and I totally get the fear and vulnerability thing.
Wishing you and your family all the best as always.
I forgot that, too! Until you said it. Happy Birthday, and thank you so much, Peter, that was very kind of you! I hope you have the best time with Anneke and I am wishing us both a great year ahead even if the outward circumstances thus far are not looking terrific 😳 We shall not let the bastards steal our joy or our resolve. And at the very least, we shall have some fucking cake! Happy Birthday 🎂 Thanks so much for being here 🎈
George! You're the freaking BEST! Thank you so much, you made me cry. In a good way, obviously <3 You'll be the first to know if I write a cheesy romance novel, too lol
Asking for things of value (time, money, attention) will always feel like a risk to the 5 year old inside of you. I’m glad you took the chance and put it out there. Get that check mark, birthday gal. ♥️
I think that's the truth, Eileen. Just have to learn to be okay with the discomfort, and invite it to have a seat at the table along with my five-year-old self so I can get shit done. The discomfort can have some tea, and my 5yo can have crayons and paper :) I adore you.
Hey now, Michelle! Huge congratulations to you (well deserved, I love your 'stack), and Happy Birthday!! Wishing you a fabulous year, whatever else may happen in this insane country!!! Hugs and love.
"She loves cheeses" is the greatest. My son gravitated early to Hip Hop, and at age 4 thought the beginning of Jump Around was "Quack it up, quack it in, let me begin...." I still prefer it.
Sounds like we learned some very similar "lessons" as youngsters, which is so unbelievably hard. I so relate to what you say about struggling with keeping the true things in. I still struggle with that, at 53. At least I had the happy surprise, having been weaned on conditional love, to see that I could love my kids in a way I never experienced.
Anyway, I sure hope you get the orange tick thing, and am very happy to support your writing.
Hahaha. "Quack it up, quack it up" for the win! Kids are so amazing. And those childhood lessons run deep, my god. I find that when I am feeling especially vulnerable (tired, tested, dealing with the first coup in this country) that's when I have to work harder to manage those old tendencies. So, lots of that lately lol. But I did have a nice birthday. And I could not agree more that being able to give your kids that kind of unconditional love and affection and support, etc that you didn't get is so healing. The better lyrics are just the cherry on top ;) Hugs to you and the family, and thank you so much for your support, Rob. So awesome of you, I really appreciate it.
I relate to so much of this. My mother can be the most loving and affectionate person so long as I agree with her points of view or as long as I don't say the wrong thing. I once figured out that telling her she's being manipulative is the emotional equivalent to a “detonate” button. She was having her car inspected or getting something fixed, so I picked her up. I was in my mid-twenties and this was around the time I began going to therapy and learning how to set boundaries and how to stand up for myself. I don't even remember what we were talking about but I told her I no longer wanted to have the conversation and her response must have been some attempt to control me, to get me to do or say the thing she wanted. I unknowingly pushed that hair-trigger of a button and she opened my car door on a very busy road that exits onto an interstate highway. We were at a light but it was madness. To keep her from doing something dangerous I was pulling her arm, pulling her toward me to keep her in the car telling her I was sorry as she screamed at me. The light changed and traffic began moving and she relented. This was an extreme situation but my entire life, the dynamic has been very conditional. She loves me - so much that it can seem suffocating - until I say the wrong thing. Then its “I’m done with you”. “You’re out of my will”. When I was a kid, I’d get paddled, smacked in the face, or grounded. In those days, I believed I was in the wrong. She was the perfect Christian mother and I was a disrespectful and willful brat. I learned this “she loves me/loves me not” behavior is a classic marker of Borderline Personality disorder. Through nearly twenty years in therapy, I’ve done so much work on myself but still, I struggle to stand up to her. I’m in my 40’s now but I still become a child when I'm in her presence and lose the ability to reason, or else I lose the ability to coherently verbalize my thoughts. Because of this, and because she has stepped over most of boundaries I've set, I now see her and speak to her very minimally.
I also, struggle when it comes to asking for anything, and recently set my Substack up for paid subscribers. I also spent a long time deliberating this and coming to the conclusion that I’m working too hard to not ask. I spent a long time considering what else I can offer people because I don't want to charge them to read. My plan is to try and set up a kind of virtual support group for all the people who are being dehumanized and hurting right now. The whole thing was a process and I still don't have it all figured out but I did it - I set up my payments! I just got my first paid subscriber this past weekend!!
I have 4 kids, including one who is a college freshman at U Chicago and another who just finished college, but doesn't have a good job yet, therefore I’m paying his student loans(my name is on them too.) I have two still at home. They're growing up so fast and I love the people they are all becoming but at the same time, I ache for those days when they were so little and we spent every waking moment together.
Loooong story short, you sound so much like me and I completely relate to everything you just shared. I hope that you have an amazing birthday, full of love and light! I hope you get that checkmark!
Hugs to you!
Oh my gosh, do I feel like we could sit down and talk for hours. That's the thing that's always hard to capture, because she could be so cruel to me, but she did love me to the best of her ability. In our situation there was also her alcoholism in the mix, though that did not come into full bloom until I was seven or eight. It did not help matters as you might imagine. There isn't room to ask for what you want in that kind of childhood, you spend your time trying not to get in trouble, or figuring out how to be helpful so maybe you get some kind of love. Anyway, huge congratulations on setting up your paid subscriptions and asking for what you want, and pushing through the trauma of having a very difficult mother. I lost mine at the end of 2021, and there's such a long story there, but after decades of one kind of pain, I was then knocked sideways by grief. I'm sending you the biggest hugs. I'm so happy to meet you.
I’m sorry to hear that you lost your mother. Even with the emotional abuse and alcholism, she’s still your mom. There is a part of me that feels like there will be a sense of peace when it happens but I feel things so deeply, it’s more likely that I will be stricken with grief and also guilt for keeping my distance. The rational side knows it’s for the best but I have guilt even now.
My dad passed away when I was 13. He lived in CA and we were in PA so I rarely saw him but we talked frequently and I loved him so much. I still do. It was strange because of the fact that we saw each other so infrequently, for years I would wake up after having a dream about him and in my half awake state, would think “I need to call him.” But reality would hit a moment later, crashing over me like a wave. I think it prolonged the grieving. There is a very long story behind what happened with him but I won’t get into that right now.
What happened with your mom?
What happened with my mom is such a long story I am currently 358 pages into a memoir about it 😳 that is clearly going to need a serious edit before I give it to the editor lol. So probably too long for here. But the short answer is she got ALS out of nowhere and it was brutal. I’m really looking forward to reading your stuff, and I have no doubt I will message you. Sounds like we should talk at some point 🤍
I would like that!!
I’ve heard ALS is horrible. I hope she didn't suffer too long with it.💔
If I ever write a memoir about my mom, It will likely be crazy long as well!
Ally, if I’d been your mom’s neighbor, that whole thing woulda gone down waaay different. Probably good I wasn’t. Just know I’m hugging that 5 yo too.
You’re a brilliant writer— writing is a hard, hard gig and you’re doing it so well— and we should be making NFL wages for what we do because we’re fucking good. Becasue poetry and soul transcription make the world a better place way more than fucking football does.
I wish I were in charge of checkmarks and bank accounts— I’d give you the best birthday ever. And after the year you’ve had, ya fuckin deserve it and so much more. I appreciate you. So so much. Happy early birthday. I’ll text you Saturday. The dawning of Aquarius. Or whatever. xo
Thank you, Kate. I didn't mention it, but Ulla was 6'3" and she liked my mother, but not in that moment. My mother never put me in the stairwell again, so at least there was that. And my 5 yo self gratefully accepts your hug.
You're a brilliant writer, too, you take my breath away on the regular, and when you aren't doing that, it's a gut punch. And one time I broke out in a sweat, lol. I wish you were in charge of checkmarks and bank accounts and all of it, too. But you know what? I'll take your friendship over all of that, because when push comes to shove, that's the gold.
Still, we should be able to do what we do and not worry. So that's my birthday wish for both of us. Let this be the year. I know that's a HUGE wish given the way this year has begun, but I'm making the wish, anyway. Short of that, we could always write a cheesy romance novel under a pseudonym. Love you.
Didn't know about the checkmark (thanks for explaining it). But. You. Deserve. A. CHECKMARK. Or three. Orange or not (would like to gift you a pretty blue one). I so appreciate your honesty, whatever you're writing about. You and Eileen are like found family and have helped me and a gazillion others navigate through some awful times. And nobody in their right mind would resent you offering a 'special' -- that would be the equivalent of resenting people getting their student loans forgiven when you paid off yours. Only assholes feel that way. Keep going, birthday girl, and it was your mother who was dead wrong, not you. Hugs.
Thank you so much, Helia. I have no intention of stopping. My head would explode if I didn't write and I don't think I'd be very much fun to be around, either. I agree Eileen is the best, and it feels like we have all found each other here, which is a bonus I never expected. Yay, us.
And who even knows what people get upset about these days. Last night a guy who read my stuff for years and years and told me how much it helped him at some point along the way, showed up in the comments section and called me a communist lol. It's fine, he loves Trump and Elon and clearly whatever help I might have extended to him, it was not nearly enough! My god.
And my mom. She was so difficult and she had so much rage, and yet, I miss her every minute of every day because she was more than just her river of rage. I don't know what kind of dysfunction must be happening inside you to do that to your child, but my heart hurts for both of us when I think about that night, and so many others. Anyway, I adore you. I thank you for being here, and for your birthday wishes. Hugs and love to you xoxox
We'll never know what hells our parents went through to become the less-than-perfect parents they became. I adore that you feel sorry for yours. My mom was a child of Nazi Germany, with all that entails, and I still can't forgive her for selling me to the highest bidder whenever she got the chance. It's a burden to be bitter and unable to forgive (i still have nightmares of her strapping me into medical devices that exchange her old blood for my comparatively young blood because she made me for spare parts). Americans' fear of communism is too bloody funny (Equality for all? How dare you mess with the natural order of WHITE MALE supremacy!) If there is alien intelligence in space I doubt they will ever want to contact US. :-)
I just became your paid subscriber!!! I have read and devoured everything you write and love it all - and you just,so beautifully, articulated how hard it is to ask for what we need and want, and how wobbly it makes that little five year old inside feel ❤️❤️. But yay you! And to be so brave at such a tough fucking time over there. My nervous system is so so frayed by the world at the moment and your words are so soothing - thank you Ally! It’s an epic battle we are in and I am glad to be in your corner ❤️
Cathy, thank you so, *so* much. It is true, it's always hard to ask for what I want and need, and I really do not like to make myself vulnerable, but I feel like at this moment in time it is that much harder! The world feels insane and every sane person I know is losing it. So I appreciate your support even more, and your kindness, too. I don't know what I'd be doing without this comments section, I know I am partial, but it just feels like one of the best corners anywhere. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here, and for being you! <3 <3
Oh and Happy Birthday 🥳
Thank you :)
"This happens to be the third very hard thing I’ve done over the last two weeks, so I would love a small marching band to walk through the kitchen if anyone wants to arrange that." I love that, and if I lived closer, could maybe arrange it. I am Band Mom and my son and his friends would definitely do this for someone so cool.
Hahaha. Well dang, I wish we lived closer, Mary Beth! Big hugs and love to you and Happy Valentine’s Day ♥️
The story about five year-old you broke my heart, my god.
I totally relate to the predicament of obsessing over the offer and spending hours trying to hit just the right tone with it. It is wild to me that there are people in the world who would send the email blast or post the note with the first version of what they wrote and not think twice about how it's received. Someone tell me what it's like to be so self-assured, lol.
Happy birthday to you!!
Ha! It’s wild to me, too. I can’t imagine being like, I’m gonna run a special, lemme take 5 minutes to set that up. Great, cool, send. lol. But there has to be a happy medium where it doesn’t take 5 hours either 🤣😳 Thank you for caring about my 5-year-old self, for meeting me here like you do, and for the birthday wishes 🙏🏼❤️ Happy Galentine’s Kate! Xoxo
Hi Ally, well, first of all, I would almost forget that we share birthday, which I still find oddly satisfying, what are the chances lol? Secondly, I just subscribed, because it's a gift from you to me and from me to me lol and I guess from me to you you. Double win!
You are quite right though, I've recently cancelled my Patreon subscriptions, not because I don't like those artists but I feel a bit overwhelmed with payments. I wish I could spend more on stuff like that. I'm trying to pay some credit card debt and I decided I'll try to be more careful with my outgoings. Anyway, that's not important.
I'd like to use this comment to wish you a happy birthday tomorrow! Hope you have a wonderful day despite all that is wrong, because hopefully quite a few things are also good! I feel you! I had a bit of depression last night but it seems better now. I'll be spending my day with Anneke tomorrow, we're off to see new anime movie, The Colours Within and then pizza!
I appreciate you and your writing and I totally get the fear and vulnerability thing.
Wishing you and your family all the best as always.
Namaste 🙏❤️
I forgot that, too! Until you said it. Happy Birthday, and thank you so much, Peter, that was very kind of you! I hope you have the best time with Anneke and I am wishing us both a great year ahead even if the outward circumstances thus far are not looking terrific 😳 We shall not let the bastards steal our joy or our resolve. And at the very least, we shall have some fucking cake! Happy Birthday 🎂 Thanks so much for being here 🎈
Happy birthday Ally!
Yes! Cheesy romance novels!!
xxoo
George! You're the freaking BEST! Thank you so much, you made me cry. In a good way, obviously <3 You'll be the first to know if I write a cheesy romance novel, too lol
Asking for things of value (time, money, attention) will always feel like a risk to the 5 year old inside of you. I’m glad you took the chance and put it out there. Get that check mark, birthday gal. ♥️
I think that's the truth, Eileen. Just have to learn to be okay with the discomfort, and invite it to have a seat at the table along with my five-year-old self so I can get shit done. The discomfort can have some tea, and my 5yo can have crayons and paper :) I adore you.
Have the 5 year old write "GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY". Kids are good at extorting cash.
Have a wonderful weekend, Ally. Sending birthday hugs from the snow globe ♥️
🤣🤣 Thank you, Eileen! Xx
Sorry- me again. Please go read what my classmate and friend Kathryn wrote last night. It’s the first comment on the post:
https://substack.com/@salttoothwriters/note/p-156500758
I loved this with my whole chest.
I wish you all the luck in the world! I just got my checkmark this week, and my birthday is also next week. :)
Hey now, Michelle! Huge congratulations to you (well deserved, I love your 'stack), and Happy Birthday!! Wishing you a fabulous year, whatever else may happen in this insane country!!! Hugs and love.
Hey, happy belated! Hope you did something fun.
"She loves cheeses" is the greatest. My son gravitated early to Hip Hop, and at age 4 thought the beginning of Jump Around was "Quack it up, quack it in, let me begin...." I still prefer it.
Sounds like we learned some very similar "lessons" as youngsters, which is so unbelievably hard. I so relate to what you say about struggling with keeping the true things in. I still struggle with that, at 53. At least I had the happy surprise, having been weaned on conditional love, to see that I could love my kids in a way I never experienced.
Anyway, I sure hope you get the orange tick thing, and am very happy to support your writing.
Hahaha. "Quack it up, quack it up" for the win! Kids are so amazing. And those childhood lessons run deep, my god. I find that when I am feeling especially vulnerable (tired, tested, dealing with the first coup in this country) that's when I have to work harder to manage those old tendencies. So, lots of that lately lol. But I did have a nice birthday. And I could not agree more that being able to give your kids that kind of unconditional love and affection and support, etc that you didn't get is so healing. The better lyrics are just the cherry on top ;) Hugs to you and the family, and thank you so much for your support, Rob. So awesome of you, I really appreciate it.
I bet you'll get your checkmark soon. Wishing you the best birthday ever. ❤️
Thank you, Wendy, you’re the best ♥️
Happy birthday!
Ally, we all need a rage break! You’re an excellent writer. Know that!
Thank you, woot woot, and thank you! I appreciate it very much :)
You’re very welcome!