It’s a strange thing to sit staring at an empty screen wondering what might come out of your head that could be useful, entertaining, comforting or thought-provoking to anyone else.
I know I can have 27 supportive & lovely bits of encouragement and I will full on obsess about the one that tells me I suck. It does hit that spot from childhood, the fear of fucking up. Thank you for the reminder that eating your hurt feelings makes it harder for others to know and treat you well. ❤️
Yeah, I definitely had a little fight/flight/freeze when I saw her email, but thankfully it was pretty short-lived. I think it helped that I was expecting it lol.
And yes, it helps me so much to speak up when I feel let down if I reframe it for myself. If I think of it as something I’m doing just for me, I struggle, but if I think of it as something I’m doing for health and wellbeing of the relationship, it gets a lot easier!
Was thinking of you during the DNC when Sheila E came out! Huge hugs and love, and thanks for your wonderful comments, Eileen. I’m so happy you’re here 🤍
I love that analogy with adjusting the rear view mirror, Ally. I’m on a trip with the wonderful community choir I sing with at the moment and every conversation is reminding me of this. So many different experiences and perspectives.
My mum died three years ago, too. ´I miss her in the way you’d miss air if it was suddenly gone.´ Yes! You’ve put it perfectly.
Oh, I love that you’re on a group trip right now! Talk about having to adjust your mirrors multiple times a day, haha.
And I’m so sorry about your mom. It’s one of the hardest losses, I don’t think I understood - but maybe you can’t fully until you go through it. And of course I’m not making a blanket statement, relationships are all so different. It’s been very different with my dad, for example. But I’m grateful this resonated with you, even though I’m sorry you’re in this club, and I’m sending you a lot of love 🤍
Thank you, Ally. Back home now and just catching up. Yes, rear view mirror adjustments and wonderful conversations all the way on that choir trip. Scratch the surface and everyone has their own story to tell, their own ways of processing past pain. Wonderful, deep conversations and a lot of laughter too.
My mum and dad died within a couple of months of each other in 2021. I miss them both, but with my mum it’s part of me, ever-present. I particularly think of her when I’m singing.
Thanks so much, Rob. And funny, I found that pic after my mom passed, in a sterilite in the closet full of photos I’d never seen before. Hidden treasure :)
Hey Ally, thank you for another beautiful essay. I love this perspective and I really appreciate your honesty in writing and how you always give me a few minutes of joy and pleasure of pondering on various things, as well as let me see you, as you are and prompt me to perhaps readjust or rethink my ways.
I wish you and your family all the best as always.
Thanks so much, Peter. I really appreciate this. It’s a funny thing to write by yourself but to connect with people “on the other side” once the thing is out there. I love it. Thank you for being here! Love to you and Anneke as always 🤍
I know I can have 27 supportive & lovely bits of encouragement and I will full on obsess about the one that tells me I suck. It does hit that spot from childhood, the fear of fucking up. Thank you for the reminder that eating your hurt feelings makes it harder for others to know and treat you well. ❤️
Yeah, I definitely had a little fight/flight/freeze when I saw her email, but thankfully it was pretty short-lived. I think it helped that I was expecting it lol.
And yes, it helps me so much to speak up when I feel let down if I reframe it for myself. If I think of it as something I’m doing just for me, I struggle, but if I think of it as something I’m doing for health and wellbeing of the relationship, it gets a lot easier!
Was thinking of you during the DNC when Sheila E came out! Huge hugs and love, and thanks for your wonderful comments, Eileen. I’m so happy you’re here 🤍
I love that analogy with adjusting the rear view mirror, Ally. I’m on a trip with the wonderful community choir I sing with at the moment and every conversation is reminding me of this. So many different experiences and perspectives.
My mum died three years ago, too. ´I miss her in the way you’d miss air if it was suddenly gone.´ Yes! You’ve put it perfectly.
Oh, I love that you’re on a group trip right now! Talk about having to adjust your mirrors multiple times a day, haha.
And I’m so sorry about your mom. It’s one of the hardest losses, I don’t think I understood - but maybe you can’t fully until you go through it. And of course I’m not making a blanket statement, relationships are all so different. It’s been very different with my dad, for example. But I’m grateful this resonated with you, even though I’m sorry you’re in this club, and I’m sending you a lot of love 🤍
Thank you, Ally. Back home now and just catching up. Yes, rear view mirror adjustments and wonderful conversations all the way on that choir trip. Scratch the surface and everyone has their own story to tell, their own ways of processing past pain. Wonderful, deep conversations and a lot of laughter too.
My mum and dad died within a couple of months of each other in 2021. I miss them both, but with my mum it’s part of me, ever-present. I particularly think of her when I’m singing.
I’m glad you had a good trip. And yes, I really relate to that. It’s not easy. Hugs 🤍🤍
Always grateful for your writing, Ally. It’s a lovely pic of you and your mom.
Thanks so much, Rob. And funny, I found that pic after my mom passed, in a sterilite in the closet full of photos I’d never seen before. Hidden treasure :)
I love this.
I’m so glad ❤️
Hey Ally, thank you for another beautiful essay. I love this perspective and I really appreciate your honesty in writing and how you always give me a few minutes of joy and pleasure of pondering on various things, as well as let me see you, as you are and prompt me to perhaps readjust or rethink my ways.
I wish you and your family all the best as always.
Namaste 🙏
Thanks so much, Peter. I really appreciate this. It’s a funny thing to write by yourself but to connect with people “on the other side” once the thing is out there. I love it. Thank you for being here! Love to you and Anneke as always 🤍