So good Ally. You articulate the experience of being a woman in this country— especially right now— so incredibly well. Your work should be required reading for every cis het man on earth. 🤍
Thanks for the holiday edition of Ally style truth bombs. At 6, you were supposed to get real and thank Frank? Brutal. But I related to every word as always.
Enjoy all the family time and let’s gear up for 2025. I know I’ll be getting strength from you. ❤️
Yeah, it occurred to me writing about it this time that my mom was clearly trying so hard to get this man to love her/love us/love the situation - or at the very least be decent enough to her kid that she could see a future. There’s no way he bought me the tutu, she must have gotten it for him to give to me, and then it all went to shit because I wouldn’t thank him, providing us this moment to bond lol. And he could not have been less interested in bonding with me. All this effort for a man who was pushing down and editing out his own feelings. Anyhoo. Yes, I am beyond grateful to be heading into 2025 with all of y’all here 🙏🏼☺️❤️ It gives me the confidence to know we’ll get through it and keep our sanity and gallows humor. Hugs and love xx
Your mom's need reminds me of the first post of yours I read and that touched me so much I felt the need to respond (about Alice Munro and fucked up complicity). What a mess to sort through, but I'm so glad you're here to do it.
I try to remind myself that women couldn't have their own credit cards or loans until 1974. My dad and mom split up in 1975. I think in my mother's mind, the best thing she could do for us was find a new husband. Nonetheless, she was a complicated person and I'm not sure she was well-equipped to have a daughter. It still amazes me that we were able to get as much healing done as we were in the last three weeks of her life. And I find it ironic that we started communicating clearly after she lost the ability to speak. She was not easy lol.
This one touched a lot of nerves. Saw my daughter, saw myself. The past few years, I've loved this liminal week between the bookends of Christmas and New Year's, but it's not feeling how it once did. Now I'm realizing that it's been that kind of time since the election. We're in some dreamlike not-real time, but it doesn't feel good. We know reality is coming. I wish I could be horrified about Gaetz and Lively, but I'm just weary. You have to be surprised to be horrified, I think.
Exactly. It’s this kind of awful waiting for the shoe to drop, knowing there’s nothing you can do to stop the shoe from dropping kind of space. I guess all we can do is try to protect ourselves and each other in all the ways we can. And yes, I feel more disgusted and disheartened than shocked at this point. But I sure am grateful for all of you ❤️
I'm grateful for you and your writing, and for those who comment here. It's great inoculation against the gaslighting. Writing truth is one way we protect each other.
Raw, beautiful, and artful. I am holding onto the hope that the wince has developed fully into a warm smile for the right audience. You deserve peace. We all do.
Ah yes, Holly! I am pretty sure I only smile when I mean it these days. The comments section always makes me smile. Y’all are the best. And we do deserve peace and a kinder world. I hope we can stick together and make it happen sooner than later. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much ❤️
So many thoughts. Fuck that Tutu and humoring Franks and powerful rapists (and powerless rapists, also). You've been through a lot, but you're here to write about it and for that I am deeply grateful.
Thanks so much, Helia. I appreciate you more than I can say. and I'm so grateful you're here! I have been thinking of you and sending love. I know the holidays are extra hard this year. Hugs.
I got filled with THE DREAD today and I realized that it actually has nothing to do with holidays. It has to do with January - a month I hate anyway and now has extra horrible baggage - and it's coming in a week. Lord. And I related to all of this, unsurprisingly.
I know, it’s just tough right now. No one likes to be in the waiting room when the sign on the door is “Impending Doom” 😩😔 I know we’re going to get through it and I refuse to let men who have no respect for me take up too much space in my mind. Trying to focus on what I can do to fight back, keep my friends safe, and actually feel like I’m having an impact that matters. And I’ll be meeting y’all in the comments section, that is for sure. Love to you, Kari ❤️
So good Ally. You articulate the experience of being a woman in this country— especially right now— so incredibly well. Your work should be required reading for every cis het man on earth. 🤍
That went right to my heart, Kate. Thank you so much. I hope you know it means the world to me especially coming from you ❤️
Thanks for the holiday edition of Ally style truth bombs. At 6, you were supposed to get real and thank Frank? Brutal. But I related to every word as always.
Enjoy all the family time and let’s gear up for 2025. I know I’ll be getting strength from you. ❤️
Yeah, it occurred to me writing about it this time that my mom was clearly trying so hard to get this man to love her/love us/love the situation - or at the very least be decent enough to her kid that she could see a future. There’s no way he bought me the tutu, she must have gotten it for him to give to me, and then it all went to shit because I wouldn’t thank him, providing us this moment to bond lol. And he could not have been less interested in bonding with me. All this effort for a man who was pushing down and editing out his own feelings. Anyhoo. Yes, I am beyond grateful to be heading into 2025 with all of y’all here 🙏🏼☺️❤️ It gives me the confidence to know we’ll get through it and keep our sanity and gallows humor. Hugs and love xx
Your mom's need reminds me of the first post of yours I read and that touched me so much I felt the need to respond (about Alice Munro and fucked up complicity). What a mess to sort through, but I'm so glad you're here to do it.
I try to remind myself that women couldn't have their own credit cards or loans until 1974. My dad and mom split up in 1975. I think in my mother's mind, the best thing she could do for us was find a new husband. Nonetheless, she was a complicated person and I'm not sure she was well-equipped to have a daughter. It still amazes me that we were able to get as much healing done as we were in the last three weeks of her life. And I find it ironic that we started communicating clearly after she lost the ability to speak. She was not easy lol.
can't wait to read your memoir. xo
Thank you, Helia.
This one touched a lot of nerves. Saw my daughter, saw myself. The past few years, I've loved this liminal week between the bookends of Christmas and New Year's, but it's not feeling how it once did. Now I'm realizing that it's been that kind of time since the election. We're in some dreamlike not-real time, but it doesn't feel good. We know reality is coming. I wish I could be horrified about Gaetz and Lively, but I'm just weary. You have to be surprised to be horrified, I think.
Exactly. It’s this kind of awful waiting for the shoe to drop, knowing there’s nothing you can do to stop the shoe from dropping kind of space. I guess all we can do is try to protect ourselves and each other in all the ways we can. And yes, I feel more disgusted and disheartened than shocked at this point. But I sure am grateful for all of you ❤️
I'm grateful for you and your writing, and for those who comment here. It's great inoculation against the gaslighting. Writing truth is one way we protect each other.
Thank you for the mudra - I will be using it on a regular basis from now on.
Me too 🫣🤣🤷🏻♀️
Raw, beautiful, and artful. I am holding onto the hope that the wince has developed fully into a warm smile for the right audience. You deserve peace. We all do.
Ah yes, Holly! I am pretty sure I only smile when I mean it these days. The comments section always makes me smile. Y’all are the best. And we do deserve peace and a kinder world. I hope we can stick together and make it happen sooner than later. Thank you for being here, I appreciate you so much ❤️
So many thoughts. Fuck that Tutu and humoring Franks and powerful rapists (and powerless rapists, also). You've been through a lot, but you're here to write about it and for that I am deeply grateful.
Thanks so much, Helia. I appreciate you more than I can say. and I'm so grateful you're here! I have been thinking of you and sending love. I know the holidays are extra hard this year. Hugs.
I got filled with THE DREAD today and I realized that it actually has nothing to do with holidays. It has to do with January - a month I hate anyway and now has extra horrible baggage - and it's coming in a week. Lord. And I related to all of this, unsurprisingly.
I know, it’s just tough right now. No one likes to be in the waiting room when the sign on the door is “Impending Doom” 😩😔 I know we’re going to get through it and I refuse to let men who have no respect for me take up too much space in my mind. Trying to focus on what I can do to fight back, keep my friends safe, and actually feel like I’m having an impact that matters. And I’ll be meeting y’all in the comments section, that is for sure. Love to you, Kari ❤️
Raw truth right here. More this! Thank you
Thank you for being here! More coming, no doubt.
Hello Ally, thank you for another brilliant essay, I really enjoyed it during Holidays. Hope you and family are well. ❤️
Thanks so much, Peter. I hope you and Anneke are having happy holidays 🤍
Thank you for speaking truth to power.
Thank you for being here ❤️